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Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi, @letitgo,

For me, I have been thinking about it and I think that most of my triggers are when people talk about or I see things that are to do with what I am afraid of/the reason why I get anxiety. I find that for me I find it hard to notice the warning signs because sometimes I will be perfectly fine and then the next minute I will see one of my triggers and suddenly get into a full-blown panic attack. Sometimes my anxiety will slowly get worse until it becomes a panic attack. 

Do you know how I could stop this?  

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Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi, @letitgo and @DruidChild,

I have this friend at the moment I think I might have talked about her in another post but she is my only friend at the moment and I don't want to give up the friendship but I find that being around her is really tiring. She is a very needy friend and one minute you could be really enjoying your time with her and then the next minute she will be telling the whole school your biggest secret. The problem is that she can't take no for an answer and I feel that I have to do everything she tells me to do otherwise she will hate me for the rest of her life. I don't know how I could get this situation to get better, and she is the only person I know that I have told about all my secrets and everything I have posted on here. She is not very supportive and sometimes she is not a good friend in the times I need it the most. If I'm not her friend anymore everyone will find out about this. By this, i mean all the anxiety and being so confused about if there might be something wrong with me and if so what. 

 

In a way, i would like someone to find out because I feel so desperate for help and to just tell someone everything but I am so scared about all the stigma that would come with it if someone knew. My head feels like it is going to explode sometimes from all the stress and anxiety.

 

getting back to the friend thing sometimes and really most of the time I don't want friends I think I have given up on people and friendships because nobody really has ever been a friend that has worked sometimes it feels like I am being shuffled in a deck of cards and whichever card gets pulled out is the friendship group I am with until the next card gets pulled out. My mum thinks it is bad for me not to have friends and she seems to think that if I don't have any friends then I will just be a lonely soul and will just end up living with all my different personalities. 

 

Sometimes I feel like nobody cares and if not even my mum will listen to me then there is no point at all.  Everyone thinks it is wrong that I don't want friends. 

 

I feel like I am going to get anorexia again. I am just so sick of this life if only self-harming didn't hurt. 

 

please help.Heart

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16

 

Between things with your friend, feeling like you're not being listened to, and having so much anxiety about telling someone, it sounds like you're really struggling at the moment! I know this isn't really a long term solution, but just for today, is there something off your list that you could do after school, just for some self care and distraction? 

 

I feel you on the friendship thing. I never really had friends or a friendship group throughout high school, and even now that I have one or two good friends, I still find friendship extremely difficult and confronting. It's okay not to want friends - some people find that solitude makes them happier, and that's okay! But that feeling of loneliness that you describe can be pretty upsetting, and you deserve to have friends who care for you and are supportive, if that's what you want. 

The situation with your friend sounds very stressful! Almost like you're walking on eggshells around her all the time, huh? This question might sound a bit odd, but if you could wake up tomorrow and feel like everything was solved and no longer stressful, what would your relationship with this friend look like? What kinds of things would you be feeling, saying, or doing? 

 

I know that telling someone about what's been happening for you has been something you've been worried about for a while, and sadly there is still a lot of stigma around mental illness. But I want to reassure you that there is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with seeking help for these things; mental illness is just as real as physical illness - if you had pneumonia you would go to a doctor, and it's the same for mental health stuff. 

The kids helpline email could be a good place to start? If you'd like to draft one out here before you send it that would be fine. 

Or this could be a good time to make an appointment with your wellbeing coordinator. Even just having a chat with your school nurse or even with a teacher could help. You shouldn't have to feel like you need to deal with these things on your own. 

 

We care and we're here for you Heart Heart Heart

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

hi @DruidChild,

your very right I am not being listened to. She is one of those friends that if you make one wrong move then it is all over. Once when I went to the shops with her she wanted to steal stuff and I said no but she wants to go to the shops with me next week but I'm afraid that she will steal something without me noticing and then if she gets caught I will be in trouble too and it might seem mean but there is only a certain number of times you can pretend you have to pick up your sister until it looks dodgy . There might be something I could do on my list I can do I find doing DIY's help a lot to distract my mind. 

 

Walking on eggshells sounds like a good description. I'm not really too sure what it would look like if it wasn't stressful maybe just caring, trustful and I would know that I am being listened to. I just feel really sad because all the friends I have ever had one by one have never worked out and I feel as if no one wants me and I am not good enough. I think that is why it has come to not wanting friends anymore because I am so scared of being judged and people making fun of me. I feel as if I am one of those people who if someone just gets the tiniest bit mad at me it sticks with me for the whole day and makes me feel really bad. Also, I am really not good at understanding jokes and so someone might just say something that is meant to be funny in a nice way but to me, it will seem really rude and then people laugh at me for not understanding it and think that I am stupid,

 

I think I might try emailing KHL  because I think that because I have to wait a while for the web chat someone at home might see it. 

Sometimes I think maybe I am living with split personalities but this is the problem I need a name for all of this. `I don't know how to do that until I have left home and by then who knows what could have happened.

 

Do you ever feel like there is so much happening around you that you can't remember what you should be doing? That's how I feel and when I think about everything it really makes me want to cry a lot. 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16 Heart

 

I'm sorry to hear you're not being listened to by your friend. It's definitely not mean to want to avoid getting into trouble. If you don't feel like it's an option to talk about your concerns with your friend, maybe in the short term you could just tell her that your mum says you can't go out, or you have to make dinner or something similar. 

 

Ooh cool! What kind of DIYs do you do? 

 

Trusting someone, being cared about and listened to sound like completely reasonable things to expect from a friendship. If friends in the past have not worked out then that is their loss, as you sound like such a resilient, intelligent and creative young person. It's not your fault, and it's not because you don't matter - sometimes friendships just don't work out. Is there a youth group or after school activity that you could go to to meet more people outside of school, and maybe make some new friends? This workbook from a place called moodjuice might be able to help you with the social anxiety you describe - http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/shynesssocialphobia.asp

 

I think it's a great idea to send KHL an email Smiley Happy I would strongly recommend making sending that email a priority - things sound really tough for you right now, and you deserve some support. 

 

I can certainly relate to feeling very overwhelmed and distressed by having a lot of things happening at once! Is that kind of how you're feeling? I'm sorry you feel like crying a lot. If you feel like you have a lot going on, maybe it could help to make a list for yourself? Or define some of your goals for the rest of this year? 

 

Here for you Heart

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi @DruidChild,

I really like doing DIY's with clay and with wool, I love knitting and I really like doing home decor crafts because I don't want to make something that a few months later I will throw away I like making things that will be useful and will last long.

 

Thanks for the link to the moodjuice page it was really helpful

There are some people at my dance school that are nice to me I met this one girl there who I'm pretty sure might have Aspergers or autism, you can tell lots of people haven't been very nice to her about it but I think she is really kind.

 

I do like making goals I really want to write a cookbook and I have other plans for my future job and I would one day like to help somewhat in getting rid of mental illness stigma.

 

I think I am going to write an email to KHL tonight. Did your family ever seem like they did not want to listen to you when it was important or what are do you know any tips that I could use to talk to my mum because right now it I really am so desperate to tell someone I know but I am afraid they won't listen? I really want to talk to the school counseller without my mum knowing because I feel that would be a good place to tell someone things without my parents knowing. 

I'm just not sure if I should tell my mum first or not because otherwise, she might find out eventually anyway. 

 

What are your thoughts on this?

 

 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16

 

Sorry it took me a while to get back to you! Ooh I love clay and wool, they feel so nice in your hands. That makes a lot of sense about wanting to make things that will last, that's very thoughtful of you Smiley Happy 

 

I'm glad it was helpful. I've used those workbooks before, too. That's awesome that there's someone nice at your dance school! I bet she appreciates that you're nice to her, too. 

 

How did you go writing an email to KHL, if you were able to do that? 

 

Family can be really really tough to talk to about mental health stuff. I'm sorry you feel like your family isn't listening to you, that must be hard Smiley Sad I wrote my mum an email when I needed to tell her that I was seeing a psychologist, I know some people find texting or emailing easier than speaking face to face. Or even writing a letter. 

 

But you don't need to tell your mum that you're seeing the school counsellor if you don't want to; if you speak to the school counsellor first, they could even help you talk to your family. The school counsellor should be confidential, and shouldn't have to tell your mum anything about you unless you can't keep yourself safe. 

 

Hugs Heart

 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi @DruidChild,

I have emailed KHL, they have not replied yet but I will tell you when they do.

Yesterday was the best and worst day ever, the friend that I have been telling you about was even worse, I'm not sure if I have mentioned it yet but in the mornings and after school she always walks with me without asking. It really bothers me because I like to be alone and walking with her every day I really annoying and also because she does not ask. She will just decide that we are doing something and I don't have an opinion about anything. That morning she called me 7 times because I did not reply to her text in 3 minutes. It was kind of good because I ended up missing the tram which sent me into a panic but at least I didn't have to walk with her. 

 

I cried all the way to school because I am so fed up with that friendship. There is one girl at the school in an older grade to me who is really kind to me and I talked to her about it and ended up boiling my eyes out. She suggested that I talk to the school counselor, which I did in the end and it was like the best feeling ever because once I got talking I did not stop I actually told her all about the anxiety because I thought well this is a good chance too. If you don't mind I showed her this chat group. 

 

I feel like for once there might actually be some hope for me.

Heart

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

@Pariscat16 awesome work! Heart I know it can be super scary to see school counsellors but you took a huge leap forward by going through with it Smiley Very Happy Did they offer any helpful suggestions? Also, because we're all anonymous it's totally fine if you want to show a professional a thread from here - I've done it before too Smiley Happy

______________________________________________________
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi, @lokifish and @DruidChild,

It's been really hard lately and I will admit I have been self-harming again. I don't know why I just couldn't help it. It made me feel better and I just wanted someone to realize without having to say that I'm feeling suicidal. Since seeing the school counselor I have seen her one other time, and I kind of told her a lot of things. She saw my self-harm scars on my wrist and asked if I did that. I mean what could I say. I said yes because I'm not sure if that was the best answer or if I should have said no. She started asking me questions like have I ever thought about suicide and if so how. I had to tell her and so I said yes. The school counseller has a rule where if she thinks someone is in danger of hurting themselves she has to tell the parents. I can't stop her from telling my mum because it is kind of illegal if she didn't tell my parents.  

I really did not want my mum to know because I was so afraid that she wouldn't talk to me or be angry at me forever. I spent the whole time walking home having a panic attack because I was so scared.

I was so surprised because my mum was not angry at all. The thing is, is that now what has to happen is I have to see the school psychologist for 5 weeks but to do that my mum has to got to the GP to get what they call a mental health plan. 

 

Everything is so complicated, I just want to escape this life.