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Recent Family Divorce

Hi all,

 

So at the moment I'm going through a really tough time with my parent's divorce. At the end of last year I got into heaps of trouble at school for stupid reasons and my year coordinator ended up contacting my mum and my mum told her everything. Since then, my mum rented a house for a while and we lived between there and our old house until my mum's lease ran out and she was kicked out so now she's living between our old house (with my dad) and her mums house that is about an hour away. I feel like i'm back at square one and everything just upsets me. I haven't been handing in all of my assessments and after the ones i have done, I've been really disappointed in myself. My year coordinator has spoken to me a few times about my situation and that I am dealing with grief that I can control if I see a counsellor. She tried calling my mum a few times to talk to her but my mum doesn't answer her calls (because my year coordinator is a cow) so instead she emailed my mum saying that she recommends i seek counselling. I think that nothing in my life is really getting better so I may as well give it a go except for the fact that I am too scared. There is a counselling centre built onto my school but I have heard so many stories of my year coordinator or AP going through files looking for people's confidential information. I don't really want to go to an outside of school counsellor either only because I don't want to sneak around my parents and not tell them (because i don't want them to know) and have to get or steal a medicare card etc.

 

Thank you all for you help in this tough time x

Re: Recent Family Divorce

Hey Kitkatt, welcome to the forums.


im sorry to hear that you are experiencing some hard times. moving house and parents divorcing can be a really difficult time. My own parents are now going through a divorce and it can really affect the way you feel and behave even if you think it doesn't .

 

Some times parents don't full know how it is affecting their kids.  Here is a fact sheet that might help http://au.reachout.com/Dealing-with-divorce-and-custody

the rumors about people going through other people's confidential information is concerning,  they may be just rumors as this is illegal and counselor can get into a large amount of trouble

seeing a counselor can be scary as you sometimes have to face issue to move through them. There is a lot of myths about counseling that scares a lot of people from going to see one but most of the time after a counseling session this fear goes away  

 

if you want to talk to some one you can talk online here if you want or you can call kids help line on 1800 55 1800. They are excellent and you can call them for free any time of the day. 

Be sure to keep us posted and I hope to see you around the forums Smiley Happy

JJR




 

Re: Recent Family Divorce

Hey kitkatt, welcome to Reach Out.

 

I've just moved your post over to the Tough Times board in case you were wondering where it had gone!

 

Divorce is a really crappy experience, when my parents got divorced I struggled a lot with my emotions too especially when one parent would bad-mouth the other. I want you to know that you're not alone, and plenty of others are in the same boat.

Counseling can definitely help, and if your year co-ordinator has already emailed your mum, maybe she won't mind helping you out with making an appointment and giving you her Medicare card. If you are concerned about people accessing your private information with your school counseling centre, it's something worth raising with them and asking for a guarantee that your files will be protected.

Another option is to visit a Headspace Centre if you have one nearby, which you can check here.

JJR mentioned Kid's Helpline which is a great way to speak to a counselor if you are not ready to see one face-to-face, or can't get to see anyone close by.

 

I hope you can stick around the forums and keep us updated on how you're going. We're also here to listen and support you!

Re: Recent Family Divorce

Hey kitkatt,

The advice you've been given is really good. I completely agree with what has already been mentioned about help-lines.

Why don't you want your parents to know?

Do you think you'd be able to give the school counselling centre a try, without giving away the information you wouldn't want your AP/year-level co-ordinator knowing? You could ask them about the rumours that way as well.
Alternatively, the counsellor could help you speak to your parents about getting outside, completely confidential help.

And of course, you're welcome to hang around the forums and see if anything around here helps you a bit.

Re: Recent Family Divorce

thank you, your advice has been so so helpful! I guess everyone (including my parents) knows me as being bright, funny and smart and I don't want them to think that because of their breakup I've changed, but i don't really know what to do anymore. I found out why my parents broke up and that was really hard and super unexpected. My Dad who i felt so much closer with threatened my mum and I can barely even look him in the eyes anymore.

Re: Recent Family Divorce

I think that may be a good way to approach it with your parents; telling them that the break-up was really sudden and a shock for you, divorce is hard on a lot of people and you don't want it to have a negative change on your bright/funny/smartness.

They may not be getting on the best with each other right now, but you're the thing they have in common. They love you.
Reminding them that this is going to effect you may encourage them to be better to each other as well.

Good-luck!

Re: Recent Family Divorce

I heard that you can get your own Medicare Card once you turn 15.

I remember getting mine. Very easy. I think I just had to show some ID and fill out a form. Did it myself.

I got it cause I was moving interstate. Felt very mature that day.

You should check out your local Medicare centre and see if they can help you out. Smiley Happy

Re: Recent Family Divorce

Hey kitkatt,

 

I'm so sorry to hear how hard things have been for you. Divorce can be such a hard time for everyone, and so often the people that you need support from are the same people that are going through their own pain and are unable to provide that support.

Getting help from someone you feel will keep your information confidential is so important. It can sometimes make things worse when you're talking to someone you worry will not keep your secrets for you. If accessing a Medicare card will make the difference then here is some information on how to do that. And yep, you can get it once you're 15. Some youth health services will even see you without a Medicare card at all.

And don't forget, with KHL you don't need one either.