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Relationships and life - wha

Really a bit nervous of posting this.

I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years. I love her and could not imagine my life without her in it. She is the one and only person i have been sexually intimate with. She is very good looking and i've been told before i'm punching above my weight. I want to marry her someday.


But at the same time. I look at other girls and there are so many beautiful girls inside and out. I am an overthinker at the best of times and i often wonder if i should have "played the field" a bit and "slept around a bit more" instead of trying to find what i thought was the perfect girl and waiting for it to happen, which i did. A lot has happened in my life that i look back on that i regret, and this is a decision i have a feeling i may regret both ways.


E.g. Not having the chance to experience intimacy with another beautiful person that may be as good/better for me in all regards then the current girlfriend who i love so much or losing my current girlfriend in order to experiment and lose the one i picture as my wife.


I am sorry if people find this not important, as i appreciate many other people have a lot of terrible experiences they are dealing with and that this might seem like a silly or stupid problem. I just don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff and i really want to get a few thoughts or experiences off people before i ask my girlfriend to marry me. I feel bad for even thinking this way, but i don't believe in a true love and believe i can get along with a lot of people well.


Would love thoughts/experiences from others in similar situations. 

Re: Relationships and life - wha

Hello @SuperSaiyanGoku and welcome to our RO forum, super happy you're here, and sharing with us what's on your mind. 


That's really tricky to be confused about your relationship -especially when you love your partner and have been with them for so long! -  I can understand why it's going back and forth in your head. It's very much an important issue for you to talk about and get support around - nothing is too "small" to be worthy of attention and support if it is concerning you. 

Having said that, this is something that comes up for lots of people who have only been in one relationship - perfectly natural for your mind to become curious of "what if" and "what else" is out there. 

I know this is not an easy thing to bring up with your partner, but do you think you could talk about this with her at all? Is there any chance she is having similar thoughts? 


I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Relationships and life - wha

Heya @SuperSaiyanGoku,

Your post is absolutely important! Thanks for sharing Heart

I agree that these are pretty normal thoughts to be having, and they don't necessarily mean anything. Marriage is a big life commitment, and just like how someone might wonder if they should've gone down a certain career path, or moved to a certain country, or any other big thing, it's common to wonder if maybe you should've dated more people. I know I've had similar thoughts about my current partner (who I also hope to marry) - it doesn't mean I love him any less Heart

I think being able to reflect on things before making a decision is a really desirable quality to have in a relationship... would talking to her about this, as @gina-RO suggested, be an option?
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Relationships and life - wha

Hi @SuperSaiyanGoku


Imagine if your girlfriend had the exact same thoughts as you. How would you feel? 


There's really other two options you have. 

1. Break up with your girlfriend and find other beautiful girls because it isn't fair on her if you don't think she's good enough. 

2. Try and put those thoughts away, if you're happy then continue with your relationship and make the best out of it. In the end relationships are based on emotions and share interests, not on looks.


I believe in the 'one' for you, so I was in your situation and I chose option 1. I broke off my relationship and tried to find a better fit. It wasn't fair on her that I was thinking about how other girls might better than her. 


Re: Relationships and life - wha

Hey there @SuperSaiyanGoku and welcome to the forums! I love your username by the way Smiley Very Happy

How has your week been? I've never been in a relationship myself, but I have heard from many who are that honesty is important. Have you spoken to your girlfriend about how you're feeling? I hope things are well with you Smiley Happy