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Self Harm Support and Relationshops

Hey all. I was hoping for some advice. I used to self harm real bad for quite a few years. I have a really close male friend who I literally trust more than no one. He told me to let him know if I was ever having those thoughts again and that he never wants me to feel alone. I have been lately a lot and I want to go to him but he's going through the pressures of year 12 (he's in the year above me) and I don't want to burden him. Should I tell him? As a side note I also see him romantically and he know's this and is currently thinking about the options for the two of us. Will I seem, not strong enough for a relationship if I tell him? He really cares about me and would drop anything to help me, but I really don't know what to do.

Re: Self Harm Support and Relationshops

Hey @Cloverjade welcome to RO!

It's great that you have a supportive friend who you really trust. Whether or not to tell him sounds like a tricky decision to make and does come down to what would make you feel most comfortable and safe - but I'm glad that you've reached out for some support on here! Smiley Happy Have you ever spoken to a counsellor or anyone else about your thoughts of self harm?

Re: Self Harm Support and Relationshops

Thank you!! Yes, I talk to my counselor about it a lot and she helps quite a bit. I guess sometimes I find it easier talking to someone that know's the situation better first hand.

Re: Self Harm Support and Relationshops

Hi there @Cloverjade! It sounds like this guy is a great friend, and it can be nice to have some good friends around to listen and support you when you're going through a tough time. Here's how I would think about it: if the roles were reversed, would you want him to still come to you and talk about what was going on, even if you were busy with school? Will it make you feel a bit better to talk about it? Maybe have a think about what you want from the conversation and be up front about it - whether it's just to have him listen, or make suggestions, or cheer you up. It's not a sign of weakness to talk about mental wellbeing or self-harm and seek support, it actually takes a lot of strength and courage. I think those are pretty great qualities to have in a romantic partner, if it goes down that path.

 

I just want to leave some self-harm resources here for you too, including support service info and self-help techniques. You can find them here

 

 

 

 

Re: Self Harm Support and Relationshops

Thank you very much. I think I know what I want to do now. I know I'd want him to reach out to me if he was feeling this way, so thank you this really helped. Thanks heaps for the resources as well I'll be sure to check them out.

Re: Self Harm Support and Relationshops

Huge well done on reaching out @Cloverjade please pop in as much as you like for support, or further help around this Heart