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Self harm *COULD BE TRIGGERING*

I have so much pain inside of me. I have had this pain for about 2 years on and off. For about 6 months it has been so bad that I started hurting myself. My self harm has been on and off too. A couple of years ago it started as a once every now and then thing. Then it slowly moved to a weekly thing. Then to a daily thing. I had been clean for 

Like 4 months. About 6 months ago I started again. The same process. An every now and then thing. To a weekly thing. Then to an every second day thing. It has slowly gone back to a weekly thing. I don’t want to hurt myself but the hurt and pain on the outside is far less painful than the hurt and pain inside of me. It helps to get the feeling of worthlessness and self hatred onto one spot on my body rather than all through the inside of my body. I hurt myself tonight. Not badly but just the usual. I feel better whilst doing it but immediately after I stop I feel the pain inside of me again. Then I feel ashamed because I have scars on my body and feel like I have to cover them up because I’m too embarrassed to show them. I feel like people judge unfairly and wrongly towards those who hurt themselves. People categorise us. They assume things. They avoid us. But the truth is. We all have darknesses inside of us. We need the people around us to accept us for who we are. Self harm doesn’t define us. Depression doesn’t define us. Anxiety doesn’t define us. Psychosis doesn’t define us. Mental illnesses in general don’t define us. We are all worth so much and we need to stick together. I have been rejected by so many people because I have a mental illness. I have been bullied because I have depression and anxiety. I have been called mental, retard, loony, psycho, and a lot more names. Words do hurt. They hurt every one in different ways. I know I just kinda went off on a tangent but I really want to get the message out there that just because people have mental illnesses doesn’t make us any less human. So to those that judge, bully, dehumanise and alienate us. Take a step back. Put yourself in our shoes. And see how we feel. We are struggling. Some more than others. To stay alive. And we don’t need any of your bull crap to hinder us from healing and getting back on track with our lives. We need you to accept us into society. And treat us with the respect you would show towards any other human being.

 

THankyou

 

Re: Self harm *COULD BE TRIGGERING*

Hey @Jesssister2001, I am sorry to hear that you have been hurting yourself again and I can tell you often have moments of intense pain. Are you safe right now? When you are feeling this way, are there any strategies you use to avoid self harming? This is really important in focusing on a healthy coping behaviour instead. Is there a health professional that you have mentioned these things to? We really want the best support for you and I can tell how much hurt these scars can carry. Scars can be a visible sign that show that you have been through something and have been really strong. For you, this might have been your depression, anxiety or bullying. I love the latter part of your post which sounds like an open letter to people who might need to be more compassionate towards others. It is important to remember that scars are past-tense, so we can only focus on the future and the present which is about safety and healthy coping Heart