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Re: Short Sads

and I can't be doing too bad in terms of the skills I know because I have helped a whole other human being develop skills and coping strategies so
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Short Sads

Glad to hear you could relate @j95 living in a shell is lonely but I think some really awesome, creative people are born from that feeling when you do get to peep out occasionally Smiley Happy

 

I hope you can get back up on your feet soon and feel better, it looks like you have some great skills there as well.

If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes
- Andrew Solomon
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Re: Short Sads

I agree 1,000,000 % @j95. So the next question is where to next? What's the next set of skills you want to start building on? What do you feel a bit shaky on, what do you feel pretty confident about but want to take to the next level? What skills do you need to get through the rough patches that have been cropping up?

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Re: Short Sads

I don't know the answers the any of those questions sorry 😞 @Ben-RO
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Short Sads

Okay fair enough, i asked you a very tricky question.

 

What sort of friendships and connections with other people do you want and need?

 

When you are feeling low, how do you see yourself, what's the self-talk like and what do you do to challenge it?

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Re: Short Sads

Maybe I will know the answers if I give it a bit of time @Ben-RO I'll think about it for a bit.

I don't have a lot of friends who I feel like I could go to if I need to talk to somebody about hard stuff, I don't really have anyone in my life like that so that would be nice. I've got a few friends but honestly those friendships aren't anything much... we sort of just talk because we can and because we see each other at different things, some of these people I wouldn't go as far as calling us friends. I don't feel valued in those relationships. That's what I would like, to actually feel valued and that people enjoy my company.
I also feel like during times like last night, I'm wanting the comfort and love of somebody like family, it always comes up for me.

When I feel low, my self talk is pretty negative, actually not pretty negative, really really negative. I think of myself as all sorts of horrible things and it is just a continuous train of bad thoughts. And I find ways to back up the negative thoughts too, like i don't just call myself an idiot etc I find a reason for it. This is just an example from last night... when I was saying on here that I felt worthless, I couldn't really think of a way to challenge it, I was doing the opposite, I was saying to myself you're so fucking worthless, can't do anything, everybody thinks that even your own family.
Sorry if I've gone off in a tangent or none of this made sense, I was trying to focus on my reply and deal with my housemate coming home and his whole presence in the house right now is annoying me.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Short Sads

Those are awesome skills @j95. Smiley Happy

I'm feeling so lonely. Have my family and a couple of friends but at Uni, I have no one and seeing everyone else chat and laugh with their friends leaves me feeling empty. I've talked to people at uni but friends? Not really. It feels like no one wants to be friends, they've already got friends so I'm just left alone.
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Re: Short Sads

Both of those points are really awesome insights @j95 and make plenty of sense to me. It seems to me like you might get in a bit of a spin when you're feeling distressed, so the negative thoughts get on a roll and snowball and suddenly you're dealing with an avalanche! Is that sort of what's happening? 

I think it's awesome that you made an appointment with HeadSpace because i reckon we can help work through this from the peer-support angle but it will also be great to corner a Psychologist and ask them lots of questions too!

 

For now though. When you're feeling like that, are you able to recognise that it's happening? Or does the avalanche hit too fast?

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Re: Short Sads

Yeah spot on @Ben-RO and I feel like I can't get out of it

Generally the avalanche hits too fast, sometimes I can recognise it but not often and in a situation like last night, it all just happened at once and I didn't have a chance to recognise it
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Short Sads

@N1ghtW1ng! I am sad to hear that you're feeling like that at the moment! I know the RO peeps just connect as words on a screen, but we're super here for you and think you are awesome (except when you're winning last post wins)!

 

Also I remember a little while ago we talked about friends being like plants, they take some growing and nurturing and time. I know you have talked about connecting up and talking to people at the Uni (and are doing something involving swords where you hopefully meet people). How long have those connections been growing for now. Is there more you can do to keep growing them and get those RL connections that you want?