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Re: Short Sads

@Bree-RO I'm sorry for before. I just want to okay and not be crazy anymore. I want the nightmares to stop.

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Re: Short Sads

hey, ive been going through a lot lately and i found this blog post and it really helpped me out. If your going through a tough time i definately think you should give it a read   http://booshnaa.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/life-is-hard-but-no-one-said-it-would.html

 

Smiley Happy 

Re: Short Sads

How'd you go giving the helpline a call @loves netball? Lifeline might be the best one if you want to stay anonymous. Here for you Heart

 

It sounds like such an intense night for you with all those memories being stirred up @j95, just wanted to check in with how your night went and how you're doing this morning? Heart

 

That looks like an interesting article @sarah55, thanks for sharing Smiley Happy

Re: Short Sads

I called KHL and spoke to someone really nice, and just talked about things like SH and how quickly I change etc.

I almost had a nightmare free night. grrrr

I feel really gross like my mind needs to washed away and that I shouldn't be female let alone human. Something is really wrong

Re: Short Sads

@loves netball It's great that you spoke to someone nice at KHL! And having almost no nightmares is a great step forward Smiley Happy

 

Did something happen to trigger the gross feeling? You said sometimes running helps when you're feeling gross, could that be good today?

Re: Short Sads

Things that triggered me yesterday @DruidChild. All these memories are so overwhelming that they're swimming inside my head and I feel gross for having them there. I feel gross for being a girl because of these memories.

I did sprints - it's a form of running

I feel so disgusting after yesterday and embarrassed with my neck and everything that happened and not being welcome on here because all I do is spread negativity around. 

Re: Short Sads

I'm sorry to hear that @loves netball, it sucks that being triggered brought all those memories back Smiley Sad You're not gross - how other people treated you wasn't your fault in any way. I can understand feeling upset after yesterday, but being in pain is not something you need to be embarrassed about. *hugs* 

 

It's awesome that you did some sprints already today! What else could help with the feeling gross? What about some safe space imagery or a distraction like baking maybe? Or we can keep talking here if it would help. 

 

And you are welcome on here! We all post negative things sometimes when we're going through a hard time, it's okay. 

Re: Short Sads

@DruidChild I feel like washing everything in my room.

I've done 3 out of 4 on today's

1. I got of bed

2. I did sprints

3. Showered

the fourth is gym, but that's the scary one - I don't want to be near people.

 

I let people touch me/hug me and because I did, I am gross.

I'm not sure about baking; I'll be even more gross and fat and ugly.

 

Can someone please turn my brain off, everything is too much

Re: Short Sads

Whoo you got three things out of four done so far, that's amazing, especially when you're feeling yuck! Smiley Happy If you feel like cleaning maybe that could be a good distraction for a while? Even just sweeping or vacuuming can make things feel nicer and smell nicer.

 

Letting people touch you doesn't make you gross, @loves netball, it's okay. If you didn't want them to touch you, they should have noticed that you were uncomfortable. It sounds like nobody is physically near you right now so nobody is going to touch you unless you want them to.

Re: Short Sads

I might start cleaning everything @DruidChild, it's what I sometimes do when I don't feel safe.

 

No this was from a year and a half ago, when I let two people hug me, but those two people hurt me. Memories of them hurt me every single day and I CAN"T GET RID OF THEM and I can't even talk about it because it's too embarrassing and when I did try talking about it I got so upset I couldn't deal with. I can't deal with it; it's eating me alive. There's absolutely no where safe to talk about it. I can't go certain places because of these people; I'm to scared to ever cross them in passing. I'm scared to apply for jobs in the sporting industry because of these people. Because of them I want to kill myself every single day because I'm to scared to live. I ruined my life; I'm a horrible, disgusting, stupid, dumb, negative, selfish, fat, little freak.