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Smoking my depression away.

Hey guys - I'm new here.

 

Lately I have been very depressed. I was kicked off my dance team ( I was captain), My dad died last year, and I have been taking care of my drug addicted mom since. I went to the doctor and they told me i have MDD and PTSD. 

 

I've been smoking the pain away-- cigarettes and weed.

 

But the thing is - my school is going to start drug testing me because they are worried. my mom agreed. But i cant stop, Ive tried. I dont have any other way of coping. I can't even dance now, and that was always my get away. I don't know what to do.  I have also been drinking alot- and tried a few other drugs. Ive always smoked- but not to this extent.. and I can't smoke when school starts. HELP ME... 

Re: Smoking my depression away.

hey

 

Wow, firstly I'd like to say how amazing it is that ou've reached out, and gone and seen a doctor! Thats a pretty amazing step, and one not to be dimished! Does your doctor or theaprist (you mentioned you had one in another comment) know that you have been smoking more than usual? If not, you probably should tell them, and that your school is going to start drug-testing. They are probably probably pretty experienced at these sorts of things, and will hopefully know the best way to support you. If your school is worried out about, they may be willing to work with your doctor or thearpist to figure out the best solution. Even if you aren't woried about the drug tests, it might be a good idea anyway to get you doctor/thearpist to talk to the school about the best way to support you with MDD and PTSD.

 

You also talked about not being able to dance, which was previously your output. Something similar happened to me, when I was first diagonessed I was a figure skater, and had to stop, so I started doing sports similar to figure skating to try and find a different outlet. Maybe you could find a different style of dance, or a different dance group, or another sport?

 

Re: Smoking my depression away.

Hi TT,

So sorry to hear you're having a tough time Smiley Sad
It can really feel like it's just one thing after another sometimes, can't it?

I think MM's advice is great - can you do dance classes or something after school just for fun so you still get that creative outlet and blow off steam too?

I know it sounds a bit parenty - but you know smoking & drinking etc. isn't helping much, right? :/ It's just a way of masking the pain rather than facing up to it and getting past it - I think you've already realised that as you say you've tried to stop.

If you do want some help with the smoking weed & drinking, there are some good resources here on ReachOut.
http://au.reachout.com/Life-cant-be-fixed-with-a-shot-of-vodka
http://au.reachout.com/Signs-you-might-have-a-drinking-problem
http://au.reachout.com/cannabis

There's also some good reading here:
http://ncpic.org.au/static/pdfs/cannabis-facts-for-young-people.pdf
http://ncpic.org.au/static/pdfs/ff-mental-health-web-version-2011-1.pdf
http://ncpic.org.au/static/pdfs/do-it-yourself-guide-to-quitting.pdf

I think you'd find talking to a counsellor really helpful - you can call Kids Helpline any time on 1800 55 1800 to talk to qualified counsellors. It's completely free and they can also help to refer you to other services that might be helpful.

You can also call the cannabis info & helpline on 1800 30 40 50 for more specific help.

Good luck, please remember your'e worth looking after and take care of yourself Smiley Happy

Do come back and let us know how you're getting on.

JD.

Re: Smoking my depression away.

Hey theetemptation,

 

It's great to see that you're trying to fix your situation, kudos to you for that. I think alt-emily and Jay-Dee have given some really good advice. When I was in high school and depressed, though not the same circumstances as you (your situation sounds really tough, you're really strong for trying to make things better). I smoked a lot as I felt like I was stifling my emotions whenever I had a cigarette. At the time, I really felt like it was making me more relaxed etc. But after a short while (like a month or two, I think), I decided to cut down hard because I realised that I was using it to cope and it was incredibly easy to have opportunities to smoke. I still smoke nowadays but at a really low rate (like 5 or so cigarettes a week, might as well quit, huh?).

 

At the time, it was really hard for me to cut down. The way I did it was to constantly remind myself that I would feel guilt and regret and that it was just a bandaid solution. Like alt-emily and Jay-Dee said, I really think that you should tell your doctor or a counsellor on Kids Helpling about your situation.

 

Please let us know how you're going,

Nathan

Re: Smoking my depression away.

Hi @theetemptation - just wanted to check in and see how you're doing this week. Would love to hear more from you Smiley Happy