- ReachOut Forums
- >
- Tough Times
- >
- Help
- >
- Re: Stealing my dearest friend
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Float this Topic for Current User
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Stealing my dearest friend
I have however started to talk to a counsellor (after being convinced) and she's decided that a teddy is nothing for an 18 year old.... And so she's decided together with my parents that I'm going to give it to her and not get to see it for a long while

- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend
Well, that's incredibly unprofessional! Regardless of how she feels about you relying on a teddy, it's not up to her to decide it's not helping!
How does she think taking your only support away will help??
Did she ask your permission to talk to your parents? As you are probably aware: The only time she can disclose stuff to others is if you are suicidal. Since she hasn't said anything along those lines, she's breaking one of the most important
rules: Never disclose anything a client says to others, unless they are suicidal.
I'd complain about your treatment- What she's doing? That's just wrong.
.
I hope this situation gets sorted soon- I was in your shoes once and it can leave deep scars that take years to heal if not addressed in a supportive matter. I hope this isn't the case for you.
You are always welcome here.
Take care
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend
i am totally curious as to how the counsellor believes taking away a teddy bear is going to be therapeutic
anyways, i like shadow's point. and you are 18 as well.
hope the situation works on for everyone
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend
She seems to think that taking my teddy is going to "help" me open up to her because I've got nothing else to rely on...
I get the point of being dependent on a teddy to sleep isn't the greatest thing at my age... But I believe there's better ways to get better with it, prob just me being stupid though...
And sadly the only way for me to get the professional help is by letting my parents know all about it.. They don't trust "people like that" and claims that whatever I tell them I tell the professional I must also tell them because they're much closer to me .....
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend
Hey Sofia,
I can see why you are upset with your parents and your therapist. It sounds like they are taking a quite simplistic and indelicate approach, but I also get the impression deep down you can see why they are concerned and why your level of dependence on your teddy might not be completely healthy in the long term.
Maybe if you are able to acknowledge this to them, and suggest a plan for how you could be less reliant on old Ted, you might be able to reach a compromise.
What do you think?
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend
Hey Sofia,
I'm also confused/curious as to what she's trying to achieve and what's brought her to this conclusion.
Have you told her (or your parents) about how you don't want to have your teddy taken away from you? It is (or should be) ultimately your decision as to what happens to your teddy.
Perhaps you could find a compromise?
You mentioned that she wants it to allow you to open up to her, would bringing the teddy into the session with you achieve a similar result? or working out a way to share your teddy time with her by recording your talks with the teddy or writing things done during/after it to give her?
If she wants to take it away because she believes you're relying on it too much and need some independence form it, you could suggest approaching it differently - such as taking it step-by-step ultimately leading up to something you wouldn't be able to do now.
With your parents, you are 18, you are under no real obligation to tell them everything about your session. As much as they want to know, it's your choice how much they do know. You can tell them everything, a little bit, or nothing; whatever you want.
Why do you think the only way you'll get help is by telling your parents everything? If you don't like the situation have you told them that?
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend

I have brought my teddy to the session before but it always ends up in an argument of how I depend too much on it

About my parents they seem to be of the idea that because I'm still living at home they still have to know about everything. Sure I can choose to not tell things, but sooner or later they will find out and I don't want to be around when they do...
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend
I don't think anyone should be taking it away from you and it's great that you have limited your use on it. It means you know you can live without it, but you choose not to, because you don't have to.
I can sleep without mine easily, it's more just to make my arm comfortable really, I so I shove my bed quilt or another pillow under my arm for that.
Maybe they just feel concerned because they think you're using it as an outlet (which I really don't see as being the case?), or are you attached to your bear? Because intense attachment isn't helpful either.
Hmmm...I don't know, but really the counselor should be making suggestions and you should be deciding for yourself whether or not you need to. No one can force you to do anything
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend
I don't wish to be as attached as I am, but wish that wouldn't equal to never ever getting to touch it, which is where I feel that my counsellor is trying to take it
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Stealing my dearest friend
Everyone else has said some great points, but i wanted to have my input

I do think it's your choice how you go with your teddy. If it's helping you, I say why not? Though if you find you can't go anywhere without it, it might need some intervention of somesort. But it comes down to where YOU draw the line. What you say is enough.
I kind of get what you mean when you say the only way to get help is by telling your parents, mine are the same.. well my mum is. I saw the school counsellor, she found out and she asked me that many questions I just wanted to turn invisible! Even with my mentor and teachers, any conversation and I'm obliged to tell her everything!
--
Everyone else;
I'm just wanting to clarify, Shadow said that they can't tell your parents - anyone, unless your suicidal. I'm wondering whether this rule still applies with school counsellors?
Get to know each other more in our monthly Introduce Yourself HERE!
We updated our guidelines! Check them out HERE!
Remember you're amazing just as you are
Things to check out:
It's Valentine's day this Thursday - have your say - yeah or nah?
A mental health toolbox! Filled with a bunch of epic threads to help you kick start some positive thinking
We're sharing our fave mental health-related apps
What are you proud of?
Seen something fantastic on the forums?
Click here to nominate awesome posts for a Friday Five!
User | High Fives Count |
---|---|
15 | |
14 | |
8 | |
7 | |
5 |