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Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

So I wasn’t really bothered by the whole survey thing until recently, like within the last week, and now I can’t stop thinking about it. It makes me so angry and upset and frustrated, plus I’m struggling with other stuff right now too, and with this on top it’s just so hard.

 

Why do you get to vote on my rights? Like what? Do you know how much this DOESN’T EFFECT YOU!? And because I’m under eighteen, I don’t even get a vote.

 

And I’ve been seeing so much blatant homophobia and hate, even in places that are usually my safe spaces like specific corners of the internet. I think this is because it’s an issue with two sides, and both sides are therefore given voices and opportunities to give their opinions, and so now people think homophobia is okay?

 

I don’t even know. It just hurts. It hurts for me, and I’m like the luckiest person with the awesomest support network, so I can’t imagine what it must be like for people without that.

 

What I also find difficult, and @j95 made an awesome thread about this, is having open and constructive dialogue with people who have different views from me. I think the main reason for this is that I don’t consider any of the arguments used by people on the opposite side to be valid, and I’ve heard a lot of bloody arguments. I try to at least maintain respect for ‘no’ voters, but in my opinion the very act of voting ‘no’ means that you don’t respect me, so why should I respect you? It’s hard, and I’m willing to listen if you have views on this.

 

I’ve just found this whole thing really difficult to deal with, especially when it’s on Twitter and YouTube and in the news and at school and everywhere. I’m really struggling Smiley Sad

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

Hey @roseisnotaplant I can really feel the frustration in your post and I'm so sorry that we even have to be having this conversation :'( It sucks so much that you don't get to vote. Hopefully in the (near) future that too will change. So upsetting to hear you are experiencing homophobia in previously safe spaces. Are there some spaces that you still feel safe in?

Engaging in constructive conversations on issues I feel strongly about is something I personally struggle with too - but something I really wish I was more capable of doing. Can you think of any times when you were able to engage in a conversation about something you felt passionately about?

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

Thanks @May_ Smiley Happy

Are there some spaces that you still feel safe in?
I guess here Smiley Tongue The hardest thing is that I'll like watch a video in support of same-sex marriage, and then be innocently reading through the comments, and then see someone say something horrible about me (or like gay people in general, but I am a gay person in general, so me) and even if I watched a really awesome video and read some really awesome comments, I still feel really crappy.

Can you think of any times when you were able to engage in a conversation about something you felt passionately about?
Not off the top of my head. Maybe in like an organised class debate, although I guess that doesn't really count. I don't like conflict so I tend to withdraw from conversations if I sense we're about to get into a deep or heated argument.

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

@roseisnotaplant so good to hear you feel safe on here! Smiley Happy

Ah the comment sections on youtube are a scary place sorry to hear you've seen some comments are so hurtful Smiley Sad I think class can be a good place to practice debates/arguments and it's great that you feel able to engage in those sometimes. Wanting to withdraw from conflict or heated conversations is totally okay and perfectly understandable.

Just wanted to check in and see how you are feeling today?

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

Gah stupid no vote campaign just called me. I voted yes already, you can go get fucked.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

Wait they do that? Ugh. That sucks.

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

Sorry I just realised how inappropriate my post was.
But yes @roseisnotaplant they apparently do that. I'm angry now.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

No it's cool @redhead. I understand that you must be angry.

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

Thanks @roseisnotaplant that meant a lot reading that. Its really important just to say how crap it is at the moment for a lot people. When two sides are drawn on one issue its so hard to see what is 'ok' and 'not ok' when pushing for a certain view. So many people are hurting already and then to feel unsafe or not respected by others makes getting through very hard. Im glad to hear you have a network of safe people. Im hoping others can reach out for help when needed.

Re: Struggling With the Same-sex Marriage Debate

@roseisnotaplant It sucks because my mental health was alright before the postal vote but it's spiralled out of control now. People I thought were supportive started telling me the no voters aren't homophobic because they are entitled to their opinion. My teacher thought it would be fun to have a debate on the topic in class, I walked out crying because all of my friends were saying they were on the no side and I didn't want to deal with the homophobia inexplicitly directed at me. My thought spiral went as far as suicidal ideation and I struggle not to relapse with self-harm. Not to mention I found out I have an exam on the day the results are announced so I am hoping for the best and god help me if it's no.