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Re: Supporting others

@Saltwaterdreamtime  no idea why our spam bot decided to mark that as spam- sometime it does weird things! Robot tongue

Unfortunately when spam bot does decide a post is spam is it automatically removed - I've gone and unremoved it now. 

Will have a read of it properly and reply Smiley Happy


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Re: Supporting others

@Saltwaterdreamtime  wow. You have done so so much to support and teach him all of these things!! You must be really proud. 

That is so reasonable about the work situation - sounds like you've struck a good balance between helping him look for work without doing everything for him. 

We have a bit of content that you  might want to read through 

- one on caring for someone as a young person 

- and one on caring for someone else while also making sure you look after yourself


There might be something helpful for you in these. Heart



I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Supporting others

Thanks @gina-RO Its definitely been challenging. But I’m kind of looking
forward to just hanging out with him as a mate/brother, we have never had

Re: Supporting others

Also challenging but a good type of challenge is that I just have to learn to let go a little bit after spending so much helping him out with stuff I need to just let him and go and find out for himself, that’s one thing I’m going to have to learn to be better at, stop hovering and let him work out stuff for himself. I just care so much though, I just want to say WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT and shake him sometimes but it is what it is

Re: Supporting others

That is some really amazing insight about when it is time to step up and when it is time to step back @Saltwaterdreamtime. What you have described here is one of the hardest things about supporting someone you love- wanting so badly to fix things for them or do something that helps them get through the situation, but recognising that giving them the opportunity to do things for themselves will get them further in the long run and empower them moving forward.

It's a really hard line to walk- but like you said, a good challenge! We would love to hear how you go with this in the coming weeks Smiley Happy


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Re: Supporting others

Yeah me too @Jess1-RO he is such an interesting character when you look
past all the negative. He is just so much like me so that’s part of why I
help him. Just struggling to get him to go find jobs and stuff when he
doesn’t have his licence and I work full time

Re: Supporting others

Hey @Saltwaterdreamtime, I feel the pressure to help my sister out too. It can definitely be challenging to put that line in place when you also have to look after yourself too. You can still make a difference to his life without it impacting yours significantly. Like you mentioned previously, you could still help him find a job if you like but it doesn't mean it has to also be at your workplace too. That was a great example of boundary setting. As long as you provide support to him and hang out with him as a brother, he will learn that you will always be around for him. It is great to set this example from the beginning, if you can! It sounds like you are really selfless, offering your spare time up to help him Smiley Happy I am sure you don't have a lot of it!

Re: Supporting others

Thanks @Taylor-RO hmm yeah it is hard because I have cared for my siblings from a young age and stepping out of the role has always had its challenges! But at the moment so far so good here and he’s making me dinner tonight (I don’t condone slavery but when he isn’t paying to live here he is helping out). 

We’ll see how this goes..... I’ve already gotten up a thousand times to help him find things that were in eye sight. 

Re: Supporting others

Hey @saltwaterdreamtime

Just checking in to see how dinner turned out last night? What did your brother cook?

Re: Supporting others

He cooked kievs and chips, he did such a great job, we had to put the
chicken back in for a few minutes but he did really well