TW: Covid in Victoria

[Saltwaterdreamtime]

Hey so, 

I just wanted to apologise for this entire thread and being pretty upset on here the last week. I feel a bit better today and yesterday. 

[Kaylee-RO]

@Saltwaterdreamtime I am sorry that you weren't provided the chance to speak out to someone when you were needing it most. I know how difficult contacting services can be during this time, but I also know the impact it would be having on people seeking for it, like yourself. You were incredibly strong and resilient for stepping up and making the call, and sometimes it doesn't always go the right way. I have been reading your three positives daily, and observed that you maintaining your positivity and continuing doing things that help you and make you happy, so I want to condemn you for that. It is so good to hear that you are doing better today, I am wondering if you ended up getting in contact with any services for support, or had spoken to anyone else that may have helped you stay grounded 
The team and community here are very proud of your resilience. 

[Saltwaterdreamtime]

No, I still feel shit... just not as @Kaylee-RO 

[Claire-RO]

Hey @Saltwaterdreamtime 

i just wanted to jump on and say I feel you when you were talking about being vulnerable and then feeling like shit! I recently have been trying to open up more which is hard as I had some not so great stuff happen when I was young so I have built these massive walls. Anyway i opened up and was vulnerable and then all of sudden I was so anxious, so worried that this person would see me differently that I had finally let my guard down. So i know it can be rough, I know you have had some pretty full on stuff in your life and so we kind of have to protect ourselves right? And this stuff is scary as al hell! But it does get easier and it is going to better for both us the more we can open up because then we get to see how much people care and valued we are. Anyway glad you are feeling better just know we are are all here and thinking of you 

[Saltwaterdreamtime]

@Claire-RO Thanks.
Yeah, I couldn’t even look at her, felt so much shame, just wanted to hide
and that isn’t a reflection of anything to do with her or our relationship,
I just felt embarrassed

[Saltwaterdreamtime]

Just got a lot on my mind and it’s all swirling around all of the time 

[Andrea-RO]

I honestly feel that so much @Saltwaterdreamtime. I feel that especially when I get anxious or stressed about something I can't pull my brain out of that headspace without a lot of time and effort. how are you feeling now after having sometime after telling J about things?

[Saltwaterdreamtime]

Initially like I said, kind of shit, but now a bit better about it
@Andrea-RO also was I over reacting this whole time because it isn’t that
bad now (covid) but also am I over thinking that I over thought it? am I
overthinking that I am overthinking that I overthought it all? HHhahaha

[Taylor-RO]

It is great that you are feeling a bit better about it @Saltwaterdreamtime. Did you find J to be supportive? It may not be the answer you are looking for but I think you are the best judge of whether you were overthinking it. Not to mention, you were in a pretty worrying and anxiety producing situation anyway so it can be hard to control your thoughts in a time like that. Do you think you were overreacting?

[Saltwaterdreamtime]

Extremely supportive @Taylor-RO but as @Claire-RO said sometimes I tend to put barriers up out of fear and shame, so I need to be more open with her so she can support me more when I’m feeling that way. She knows when I’m not ok (sometimes before I even realise) she can read me like a book, but can’t be there for me if I keep it to myself