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Re: TW life seems too hard

Hey @Bananatime04 , that sounds like a scary situation  - did you tell Jess that  you were scared now that you're not sure the name of the person you've been speaking to?

 

Can you have a support person present with you at the event? You may be able to point the person out to Jess or someone else, in order to keep you safe. The other option is to not go to the event? 

 

This is not your fault at all @Bananatime04  - it is really hard that all of these things have happened in your life recently, but they are not your fault. 
I really hope you can reach out to someone today about this, your safety and wellbeing is the most important thing here. 

 

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I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: TW life seems too hard

@gina-RO No I didn’t say anything after she told me because I felt soo guilty and was shocked and I still am and I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking I will just go the second morning because that’s when Jess is there and I don’t feel safe without her.
Also I know it is my fault. I’m the one that fucking believed him and told him all about me. I’m the one in the wrong. I’m a horrible person and fail at life

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Re: TW life seems too hard

Hey @Bananatime04 I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a horrible time right now Smiley Sad That sounds really upsetting and scary. It isn't your fault and I definitely don't think there's anything wrong with you or that you've messed up - it completely the fault of the person who harassed you, you haven't done anything wrong. Heart He is in the wrong for manipulating you. It is normal to trust people and tell them things about yourself, like that you do gymnastics; it is not normal or okay for someone to sexually harass you or cause you to feel scared. This is not your fault. 

 

Did Jess make any suggestions for what to do now that she's not able to get the person excluded from the event? I agree with @gina-RO's suggestion that it could be good to have a different support person at the event - are any of your friends going or do you know any of the other organisers? With gymnastics, could you organise to get picked up or walk home with a friend? 

 

Some years are so difficult, I can empathise, I lost someone very important to me in the last year, too. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, sometimes it's just the way life works out. I believe there will be better, happier years in your future Heart I'm wondering when your next session with your khl counsellor is? 

Re: TW life seems too hard

I’m so sorry but I’m about to go to training. I finish at 7 so I’ll reply then. Sorry

Re: TW life seems too hard

@Bananatime04  going the second day when jess is there sounds like a very good idea. 

 

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I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: TW life seems too hard

Thank you so much @DruidChild ❤️
I can’t get rid of the guilt but it makes me feel better knowing someone else doesn’t blame me or hate me. I just blocked him and I feel so bad.. I will only go to the event while Jess is there and I’ll do it with her so that I’m safe. I’m also going with one of my friends and her dad might be there so I’ll be good then.
Well why has it all happened at once and why won’t it stop? There has to be a reason and I blame me.
My next session with my khl counsellor is tomorrow night at 8pm

Re: TW life seems too hard

Blocking him sounds like a good decision @Bananatime04. From what I can see you have done all the right things to deal with this. Guilt is a big feeling and it can be really difficult to shake, but you are not at fault and from what I can see you are a good person who has nothing to feel guilty about. I don’t know if it’s your thing, but I use art and writing to help me process feelings of guilt and shame. When I feel overwhelmed by memories of being sexually assaulted I like to surround myself with things that make me feel safe - for me that means lighting a candle, cuddling a stuffed animal, and blasting some music. It could be something worth trying in the future Heart Also I’m really glad to hear that you’ll be there when Jess and your friend and her dad, hopefully that will make you feel safe Smiley Happy 

 

That is big, hard question that I don’t know the answer to. Personally, I don’t believe that the universe works in that way or does things to punish us or because we deserve them. Life is complex and we interact with so many people who each have their own stories and goals and traumas. Sometimes there isn’t a reason for why things happen. I hope this helps a little Heart

Re: TW life seems too hard

hi @Bananatime04
im sorry to read what happened to you. i can relate as i was sexually abused so can imagine how you might be feeling including the blame. it sounds like youve got a good plan for staying safe.
Druidchild and Gina have given some really good advice here
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: TW life seems too hard

I’m so sorry I’ve taken years to reply.. I was in a chat with 1800respect again.. yes I went back and guess what! No panic attack this time! No police involved! She also told me what I should do if someone does sexually assault me. I need to scream as loud as I can and use my finger nails to get skin for DNA and I can hurt him for self defence.
@DruidChildI’m sorry for challenging you with those last questions.. those were just me saying what I’m asking myself.. I wasn’t asking you for an answer sorry but thanks for your opinion! And thank you so much for your support today. I’m sorry you’ve experienced sexual assault.
@scared01thank you it feels good knowing that someone understands the feelings I have right now. It’s hard to put them in words. Sorry you were sexually abused.

Is it common? Do like most people experience rape or sexual harassment or abuse or assault? 

Re: TW life seems too hard

im not to sure how common it is for others to have experienced some sort of unwanted sexual encounter sorry @Bananatime04
im glad you got some good advice from the counsellor though and you didnt have any panic attacks.

your definently not alone Heart
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**