The loss of a loved one....

[Bee]

This afternoon I was told about the loss of my honarary aunt, at first I was a bit upset at first and was copping fairly well. But it didn't take long to really affect me. But hours on for the 3rd time today I cannot do anything because of an overwhellming amount of tears and memories of her flooding my mind. Typing this I'm even tearing up, tears falling from my eyes. I feel as though someone has just come and ripped my heart out, it's a pain I can't describe. It's worse than what I've ever felt and I just don't know how to deal with it.

Last year I lost my step-grandfather, it didn't really affect me too much because I didn't know him too well, I cried a couple times, but I handled it fairly well. I've seen people die, I've gone to funerals, but I don't understand why it is so much more painful to loose her. Is it because I was so close to her?

I don't know what to do, I've got heaps of work I need to do this weekend, but I can't stop thinking about my aunt and her just laying in her house with a fresh cup of coffee just sitting there on the table. I wonder if she felt any pain, whether or not she suffered. Such questions I will never know, and I realise that, but I keep upsetting myself by wondering....

I know it's natural to miss someone, but how can I accept that she gone and cope with her not being here anymore?

[Jay-Dee]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Bee

Allow yourself some time to grieve - instead of trying to get done all the things you need to do, let yourself feel what you need to feel for a while and then try to get some of your work done. That way you can try to put some focus on each of those things.

JDx

[Jaz]

I am sorry about your loss Bee.But my mother always taught me, when someone passes away, it means that god loved them soo much, and he wanted to keep them to himself. Just imagine she is watching over you. I know its very cliche type, but this helped my mother when my nana passed away.

But give yourself all the time, work can wait.

Be brave, she surely doesn't  want to see you crying. 

Take Care

[Bee]

@JayDee,
I eventually caught up on the work, little help from any of my teachers but :/

@Jaz,
Thanks... I don't really know how I got through the past few weeks after finding out, I guess I just remembered that she was with God and her husband now and that she is safe.
You're right, she'd be asking what was wrong and be cracking a joke to make me laugh... (At least I have some of the emails she sent me with funny jokes..)

[Jaz]

Hey Bee, 

that is good to hear, and also if you ever wanna talk then you know where to come =D