cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Think my boyfriend is an alcoholic - don't know how to help him

I am 35 - my boyfriend is 37. We have been together approx 6mths and I moved in a couple of weeks ago. I didn't realise until I moved in how much beer he drinks. It is not unusual for him to drink over a dozen beers every night and now he has started brewing his own - he is drinking even more. He has started gettting a blotchy rash all over his arms, back and stomach when he drinks excessively. When I have asked him why he drinks so much he said when he was in heavy metal bands he was into all sorts of drugs but he decided to stop everything except the alcohol because he knew it was a dangerous lifestyle. He doesn't understand why I get upset with him - I don't want to nag and I'm not saying he needs to give up completely - I would just like to be able to have a few nights/days with him where I can have sensible conversations and enjoy each others company rather than him becoming nonsensical and passing out. Before I moved in our sex life was great but now that has almost become non existant because he can't 'perform' anymore when he is that drunk. PLEASE HELP!! I love him and don't know what to do.

Re: Think my boyfriend is an alcoholic - don't know how to help him

Hi Confused101, welcome to Reach Out.

 

It must be hard to live with someone who drinks heavily to the extent that it affects your life, and it sounds like you are really frustrated.

 

Does your boyfriend acknowledge that he has a problem with alcohol? It can be really difficult to help someone who doesn't want help or doesn't think anything is wrong. This fact sheet has some helpful advice on what to do when someone dosn't want help. Unfortunately pushing or nagging will usually make the situation worse and create extra tension in your home.

 

You shared with us some really clear and important points here about why you want him to cut back on the booze - his rashes, his lack of conversation and your ailing sex life. Are you able to sit down with him calmly when he is sober and explain those reasons to him? If he knows how much his drinking affects you and that you are willing to listen and support him throughout the journey, he might be more open to the suggestion of getting help.

 

It's really important to look after yourself too while you go through this, so please don't hesitate to speak to a counselor at Lifeline (13 11 14) if things get bad or you need someone to talk to. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and you can remain anonymous.

Re: Think my boyfriend is an alcoholic - don't know how to help him

I also wanted to suggest that you chat to Relationships Australia , phone 1300 364 277 or Family Drug&Alcohol Support - they've also got a free & confidential helpline 24/7.

 

There are lots of services out there who want to help and support.

Good luck

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Think my boyfriend is an alcoholic - don't know how to help him

Thank you so much for responding. Your advice was great. Will talk with him and see what happens.
Highlighted

Re: Think my boyfriend is an alcoholic - don't know how to help him

Personally you may need to arrange an "intervention" perhaps with you and some of his friends and confront him about his drinking. He is not going to change without being directly confronted and some pressure being applied.

 

I personally wouldn't put up with being in a relationship with an alcoholic, but that's your choice. You may want to say "Look I love you and I want to be with you, but I cannot handle your drinking you need to face your problems and stop or I don't know how much longer I will be around."

 

Giving up other drugs for alcohol is a bad idea, because alcohol is just as bad as any illegal drug when abused heavily. Also alcoholics usually need to stop, he is unlikely to ever be able to drink like a non-alcoholic.

Re: Think my boyfriend is an alcoholic - don't know how to help him

Hi, I'm going throught the same situation and I really want to know how it went after the advices that you were given

Thank you

Re: Think my boyfriend is an alcoholic - don't know how to help him

Hey @User16 super sorry to hear about what you're going through. Smiley Sad We can definitely support you/listen as best we can. If you want to start a thread about your own experience you can do so by posting here Smiley Happy