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Time grades friends and love ugh

Hi everyone, 

i usually rave about my feelings to my friends but lately my best friend started dating and shes been spending every lunch time with him (and i dont blame her I completely get it) but i feel very lonely and ive been trying to make new friends  but it’s hard because every one is in a friendship ‘group/pack’

also im in year 11, and I’m doing bio ¾ so ill have the exam this year and that is stressing the hell out of me .

i often find that i work hard on weekdays but then get burnt out on weekends =procrastinate as a result.

i really would like to get away but holidays are still ages away and my family is not that financially stable either 

sometimes i find myself thinking that nothing is worth it anymore- like i just work and work and feel so empty and i dont talk to much (I deleted all social media as it was very toxic- i had a sort of friendship/fling with this guy lets call him tom- see tom used to talk to me day and night we used to be close but now we’re drifting cos well he didn’t reply to many of my messages and i got the idea that he was ignoring me and i was the one to always initiate things so I haven’t talked to him in two weeks now in text which I’m proud of . But i miss him, i dont want to admit it but i might have even loved him for a moment then- ive been talking to him since March this year he is also in two of my classes at school now so its a bit awkward.

 

with time management I always feel like i leave everything to the very last minute like i have a chem prac due tomorrow that I’m doing now, it’s winter here, and for some reason my face itches (maybe its hay fever but ive never had it before) its so frustrating 

and yeah

Tom and my friend spending less time probably had something to do with this but i feel like my life is very mechanical nowadays 

I really do want to get good marks and i work hard and i did get a 90s on a maths test and I’m happy

but at the end of the day, i cant help but feel the ache and emptiness in my heart. 

Sorry to sound so depressing - 

any help would be much appreciated 

thank you xx

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

Hi @Moonchild_26!

I'm sorry that you've been experiencing school and friendship issues. It sounds like you're pretty overwhelmed right now. It can be really hard to maintain friendships and manage time when you're a student. Smiley Sad

Are there any groups outside of school that you can join? I found a lot of friends through volunteering. There might also be hobby groups in your local area. We have an article here which has some suggestions for things you can do if you're feeling lonely.

Has anything helped you with time management in the past, such as keeping a diary or using an app?

By the way, congratulations on getting such a high mark on your maths test! Smiley Happy

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

Hey @Moonchild_26, and thank you for posting on the forums. Year 11 is a stressful time on its own, without all the added stuff you've got going on, so first of all I want to say kudos to you for juggling 3/4 bio as well as social challenges.

Have you spoken to your best friend about how you're feeling/do you reckon that's something you could try?

Looking forward to hearing from you! Heart 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

I have but i dont want her to lose her relationship with her boyfriend

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

Also i got pretty low on my Bio SAC today and we have the exam in 67 days and i have pain in like my hands, back and everywhere
I don’t know what to do

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

Hey @Moonchild_26,

 

Thanks for your post. It sounds like you've got a lot on your mind at the moment and are struggling with juggling your relationship with your friend, school work and procrastinating and things with Tom. I remember how stressed out I felt doing a 3/4 subject in Year 11, it is definitely at intense time in school and I understand that you're aiming high and really want to do well. I want to celebrate the fact that you've posted on the forums and are actively seeking help to manage your stress. 

 

I'm wondering if you know anything about burnout? It's a pretty common thing that a lot of people experience when they're in year 11 and 12 and from your post it sounds like maybe you might be feeling a bit burnt out? I can see you have a lot of structure and have been working really hard towards your goals of getting good marks, but that you procrastinate on the weekends and feel that you're getting behind. This is really common and you're definitely not alone. I feel burnt out a lot in uni and I definitely did in school. When we feel burnt out, things like friendship and relationship issues can seem even more tough, and we feel like we can't cope with anything. But there is so much hope and you can definitely put some things into place to combat burnout/protect yourself from burning out? I'm wondering what you currently do as self-care? There are some ideas here if you'd like to brainstorm some more things you can do. 

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

Hey @Moonchild_26 I can see that you're a really thoughtful friend in the way that you're worried about your friend losing her boyfriend. Heart

What did your friend say when you spoke to her, if you don't mind me asking?  

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

Hi misobear,
Thank for all your advice- I looked through the sites and they look great.
Currently I dont really do much for self-care, I don’t have habits, but i do face masks, and listening to music, and going for a coffee with my mum sometimes - that’s my favourite

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

Hi lettitgo,
I didnt really ask her directly why she isnt spending as much time, but whenever I’m like ‘can we do something this lunch’, she’s always like , ‘well i have to ask [boyfriend] first’- so i get the feeling that she wants to spend as much time with him

Re: Time grades friends and love ugh

Hey @Moonchild_26 Smiley Happy

 

It can really suck when our friends have less time for us than they used to. I think it's great that you also are understanding about your friend wanting to spend time with her boyfriend. Smiley Happy

 

I was wondering if there were any self-care suggestions on the list that @MisoBear shared that you might find helpful?