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Transman issues

Iv been with my beautiful girl for 3 yrs in june and the past 6 months iv been having alot of issues making love with her, to me it feel as if i cant make love to her and i get angry/sad when i try. She has a very sexy personality so i want to alot. 

Then when it comes to my turn i cant free my mind and enjoy the moment with out thinking so its very difficult for me to finish. 

The biggest problem i have is jelousy whether it guys in her life now, guys she had in her life before me, guys on tv. Just petty shit and i know how much it would get to her, she is a very faithful woman and she knows the jelousy comes from my self issues but i can still see the drain it puts on her. 

I just want to find peace with myself and my body. I know it will make mine and my beautiful girlfriends life alot happier. 

Re: Transman issues

Hi @TommyChong420, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing with everyone.


I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time with jealousy and that it is having a negative effect on your relationship with your girlfriend. It's really great that you have recognised what is causing your issues. I think a great starting place for you would to find ways to challenge your negative thoughts as they happen. You can find some great information on that topic in this article.


I'm also going to tag in some other users that might be able to help with tips and advice @RevzZ @safari93 @j_ @missep @redhead @j95 @roseisnotaplant @scared01 @ami-lee @FootyFan26 

Re: Transman issues

Thanks Danielle ill give it a read. Smiley Happy

Re: Transman issues

hi @TommyChong420 and welcome to RO

im not really experienced in dating myself myself but have you thoughts about speaking to a sex therapist? they can help you to work out your insecurities and thoughts as well or even a relationship therapist? 

it sounds like you have a loveley woman and you are open to change which in my opinion i think things can work out for you both. 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Transman issues

Hi @TommyChong420 it sounds like you really appreciate having your girl in your life.
From my experience, I have heard that guys find it difficult to finish because their minds are distracted and this plays directly into how their bodies react.
Have you done or is there anything you can do to address the jealousy that you have been feeling?
It's perfectly normal for people to go through this, its what makes us human!

Re: Transman issues

Thanks @scared01 appreciate that alot and no i haven't thought about that, moneys abit tight atm but when we're on our feet ill have a look in to it. Thanks again. 

Re: Transman issues

Hey @missep 

thanks for your comment appreciate it alot. And yeah i do she's my rock, i know its meant to be the other way round but she is, dont know what id do with out her.
I know that me thinking negative during sex is why i cant finish, i just need to shut off and be in the moment with her.

And i dont quite understand what you mean by 'address the jelousy'?


Re: Transman issues

your most welcome @TommyChong420

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Transman issues

@TommyChong420 You sound like such a wonderful and caring guy! And it's beautiful to see how much you care about your partner.

Have you tried to talk to her about this? Maybe letting her how you feel and getting some reassurance beforehand, might help you relax so you dont over think?
Also I agree with @Danielle_RO, its wonderful that you recognise your issues, but on the same note, maybe see if you can grab a session with a counsellor or something. I know there's some that offer via medicare and there's no out-of-pocket expenses or even try via your local community centre. Talking can help sometimes, and if you're comfortable, it might be a good avenue for you to try.

Re: Transman issues

Thanks alot @Mayaa99 and yeah i do,  I tell her whatevers going on inside my head just to get it out.

I think going to a councilor is the way to go, cant hurt that's for sure.

Thankyou again for your kind comments