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Re: What happens when...?

I'm sorry, that's supposed to be "nor do I want to speak with the counsellor"

Re: What happens when...?

Hey @Madame - I'm sorry to hear that your former friend betrayed your confidence like that. She must have been pretty worried about you to speak to her mum about it, but it still sucks you didn't get to approach your parents on your own terms.

 

You know your body/mind and you know when 'something's not right' so I do encourage you to speak to your GP tomorrow about how you've been feeling. I think it's perfectly reasonable at your age to ask your mum to wait outside and see the doctor alone, if that is how you feel most comfortable. If you're on the pill, your mum might just assume it's sex stuff anyway and not want to hear it Smiley Happy You're actually old enough to have your own Medicare card and make your own GP appointments, so unless you need your folks for a ride to the doctors office they don't have to come with you at all.

 

Do you feel like you can be honest with your GP and the school counsellor (after chatting about the confidentiality issue)? It's really ok to ask for help, even school captains are allowed to not have all the answers sometimes! You're not letting anybody down by needing support.

Re: What happens when...?

Hi ElleBelle,

 

I will try and speak to the GP alone, I might be comfortable with her because I've never seen her before, we are going to a new nicer and female GP! 

 

Earlier today I talked to my teacher and told her about my memory/sleeping/concentration/appetite problems and she does understand because she went through the same thing, but she encouraged me to go to the counsellor and she also encouraged me to try and eat even if I don't feel like it. And I don't feel like it but even when I try to eat I feel sick. I feel like I've let her down so much.

 

Is there anything that you might suggest? 

Re: What happens when...?

I've eaten today without feeling nausous, although I still havent eaten the minimal amount I should.

 

I'm just worried now at the moment that, because I told mum about how this is affecting me, she and my dad and brother are are treating me differently. I don't know what to do about that? Thank you.

Re: What happens when...?

Hey @Madame - how did the appointments with your GP and counsellor go? It's really awesome that your teacher has been such a great support to you and can empathise! Have you given any more thought to chatting with a counsellor at Kid's Helpline - either over the phone or on web chat?

 

If you've been feeling really anxious, sometimes it can affect your appetite. Are there any foods at all, such as a protein shake, that you feel you can stomach without getting queasy? Forcing yourself to eat when you feel sick is likely to just make you feel more stressed out. You could try taking some deep breaths, meditating or practicing mindfulness before a meal to feel calmer and soothe your stomach. It's definitely something you should raise with your GP too, if you haven't already.

 

When you say that your family is treating you differently - does it make you feel worse or is it just weird? It can be a bit scary when someone you love is going through tough times and they might not know how to behave around you. What would be the ideal way for your family to support you without feeling like you're being treated differently?

Re: What happens when...?

Hey ElleBelle!
My GP wasn't worried about me at this stage, she said that if it continues for a month, then to do something about it. And I had a meeting with counsellor today but I didn't have enough time to tell her everything I was concerned about, however she did release some pressure of my school work saying I can do 'selective reassessment' or something because I'm in year 12 and usually straight A student.

My appetite, after being able to have a long discussion with my teacher and just voice my thoughts, is better, although not totally better. It could also be in part because I make myself eat so that my parents dont worry. They way they treat me makes me feel weird and 'precious' and I'm not totally comfortable with it.

I'm not so well at the moment, I hacent spoken to my teacher since Wednesday because I'm scared that while she is going through something herself, I put to much pressure on her with my stuff. I'm not sure if it's for that reason, but this afternoon I've felt that 'itch' for self harm, I'm not going to act on it because I can't have my parents finding out and I feel as though I owe it to my teacher, but the itch is irritating.

Re: What happens when...?

Hi @Madame ,

I have just been catching up on this thread and I wanted to say that it's clear to me that you're being thoughtful about what you're going through, and looking for ways to deal with it - good on you. You mentioned that you've been feeling the 'itch' to self harm coming back again. It's good that you're resisting it. Here are some tips on ways you can distract yourself:

Self help for self harm.

Do any of these tips help you?


Remember you can always call Kids Helpline at any time if you're strugging and need to talk to someone. 1800 55 1800

 

Take care,

blithe

Re: What happens when...?

Hi @blithe,

 

Thank you for that link, but most of those things don't 'satisfy' the itch, at the moment I just try to think about the three people I don't want to disappoint (mum, dad, and teacher). 

 

I contacted a girl who said recently that she was there if I needed her and I did need her today and I told her I felt worthless, that my life doesn't have value and that I felt if the my closest friends that I loved couldn't be bothered helping me, then what good am I? She has simply said back that I need to get over it, I'm overreacting, and that just because my friendships gone and it sucks I can't be sad about it. This kind of makes me feel worse. 

Re: What happens when...?

I can't, at the moment, shake the thought out of my head that I'm unwanted? That I'm worthless? I've tried to talk to the two people over facebook (can't see them in person for reasons) who said that would be there for me since this stuff has occured, and they won't reply, even a view others I've said I'm struggling a little and feel extremely lonely but no one will reply. And so another thought has developed, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me that people just can't be bothered to help or talk to or be my friend? Am I destined to be alone like this? Two months ago I felt on top of the world and now I feel crushed by it. I know, my problems aren't that big, that I'm lucky to have a family, food, and a bed, but I can't get rid of these thoughts that are destroying me..

Re: What happens when...?

Hey @Madame 

 

It can be really hard not to personalise everything when you're feeling down and depressed, but it's important to remember that sometimes things happen that aren't about us at all. There's a possibility that your friends haven't replied because they're busy or distracted with their own stuff, they may be unwell or dealing with something, they might be thinking that they can get back to you on Monday. They might even be depressed themselves and not up to dealing with anything. It's impossible to know. And even when a friend knows you're in need and deliberately runs from that responsibility, even that, weirdly enough, isn't about you either. If someone can't cope with another person's need it's often because they feel overwhelmed or anxious about what to do. It might be triggering for them, maybe they have a history of depression and they find it difficult to be around. There are a whole bunch of reasons that drive people to behave in ways that might be disappointing or hurtful for us. And unfortunately, so often we ttake that behaviour and interpret it as meaning that we are not worth their care or attention or support. That we have done someting to deserve them avoiding us. When, in fact, it has nothing to do with us at all. They're just not up to the task.

 

This is why getting support from a professional can be so helpful. You don't need to depend on them being in a good place, or the right mood, to give you the support you deserve. You really sound like you're in lots of pain. Off loading to the workers at KHL or Lifeline might be just what you need to get back to how you felt two months ago. Smiley Happy