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Re: What the fuck

@Saltwaterdreamtime  that all makes a lot of sense to me - I know it's a LOT easier said than done, but try and be a bit kind to yourself while you're adjusting in this new transitional time. Even when it's all positive stuff, change can be hard! And it can take awhile to adjust to the new normal, especially when you've been in "coping mode" for a really long time. 

 

It's great that you're doing some meditation, that's something I've found really helpful but it definitely takes some practice, have you ever tried using breathing exercises, or grounding exercises, during the day when you're feeling anxious? It sounds like you've learned so much about what works for you and what doesn't, and that is huge - so many people don't ever get that level of insight into stuff. Do you find things like surfing or going for a bike ride helpful? 

 

Oh man, I just saw your update as I was writing this and I feel for you and your hand! Sounds like such an easy thing to have happen - I hope your hands are OK. I'm sure the owners will be grateful that you were honest. Sucks when stuff like that happens!! 

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Re: What the fuck

@Janine-RO It was in the back of my head the whole time and then when I saw it fall, I was like no way.... if I threw it and aimed for it it wouldn’t of gone down a gap literally as wide as my finger but as soon as you don’t try.... it happens.

 

The meditation has been ok but I do find it hard. It’s good to zone out for a minute, get away from the screen.  
I can’t seem to get into the pre recorded YouTube videos. If it’s someone live even live on Zoom or something I do much better. Maybe because I can’t turn it off and walk away because see there is somebody on the other end but not sure. 
Surfing and bike riding does help, it’s funny, because it helps overall.... as in, if it’s been a week long of feeling not right it helps, but in the moment, like oh shit I don’t feel great right now... go for a surf, I feel good surfing, but really  nothing helps much because it’s comes back as soon as I am done, sometimes it feels almost as if I’m better leaving it and having a bloody anxiety attack, like it’s almost as if my body is saying ahh dude that meditation didn’t work, and neither did that walk, stop pushing me away I’m here and I’m not leaving. Oh man. 

 

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Re: What the fuck

Ah that does sound crazy @Saltwaterdreamtime  , that must have been a troubling day at work! Sucks to hear that your hands were hurt though, are you and your headphones okay?! It's awesome to hear how proactive you have been with these strategies. I have heard sometimes that meditation can take a few times to get right as it can sometimes require us to be in a certain mind state or specific environment. Do you think it would be helpful to change up the environment when you try it next? Maybe putting on some nice music or songs on could help you experience the benefits of relaxation. I must admit that it can be hard, but its good that you have been trying it out!

 

I understand what you mean about your experiences with anxiety, sometimes distraction techniques can be really helpful and sometimes not so much (unfortunately). That's okay though, because that's when it's best to try some other strategies out. It's really good that you have insight into this and that you understand what has been going on!

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Re: What the fuck

@Sophia-RO yeah, I havent tested it yet.

I usually do it in the garage because it’s the most distraction and interruption free zone and I’m starting to do it up a little bit so it’s an extra space to go to.
I don’t have music because I’m usually watching on the live videos with this guy I know who runs groups of yoga/meditation etc. I can’t get around the standard YouTube videos or apps. It just doesn’t work for me.
I have some of this guys recorded stuff outside of the live sessions and I find that works
ok. I guess sometimes you just need to find someone that does it really well.
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Re: What the fuck

How are your hands feeling today @Saltwaterdreamtime? Did you get your headphones working?

I think you're right that with meditation you need to find someone that is the right vibe for you, sometimes I listen to a meditation and the persons voice does not make me feel calm Smiley LOL That is cool you have found a guy that does it that works for you.  

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Re: What the fuck

Yeah he’s a local surfer, life coach type of generally awesome person we have met in person once or twice @Hannah-RO
Yeah I didn’t like the smiling mind app or anything, they actually just made me annoyed, and I remember when I was seeing a psychologist they kept suggesting it to me and I’m like umm the guys voice is weird, NO! They kept saying just try it and I’m like no haha, no thank you. 
I just couldn’t do it, and then sometimes they’d try to do one for me and I would laugh haha 😳

I don’t know if my headphones are working I’m scared I will get a disease from one of them being under the deck hahah so I need to probably clean them both. My hands are so sore!! Both are so bruised and I have the beginning of scabs on my knuckles... which look lovely.

The good news is today is my last day of work for the week, cause I got the day off tomorrow because we have got some really exciting stuff happening, i will definitely end up working at some stage though 

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Re: What the fuck

Hahaha I can totally relate to that when it is just not the right voice! And it's like .. "Am I meant to be finding this funny?" Smiley LOL

Aw that is horrible about your hands, I hope they heal up really quick and that you enjoy your day off today! Smiley Very Happy

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Re: What the fuck

Thank you @Hannah-RO
Berated by a customer at 8:05 this morning when I responded to a message to
say the job they requested at 11pm last night would have to wait until
Monday....apparently I can’t spend time with my own family 👏🏼 Haha
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Re: What the fuck

Ah @Saltwaterdreamtime  that is so annoying and rude! Sorry you had to go through that, hope it doesn't ruin your weekend and that you have a lovely couple of days Heart

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Re: What the fuck

Oh man I can’t do this I thought I could I thought I could do it all but I can’t and I can’t run from it and i just got banned from somewhere because of something that happened nearly three years ago I thought  I could move on from that and start a decent life for myself but it’s coming back to haunt me now that was three years and it’s still there I don’t know why I even bothered making any progress and making something decent of myself when people still think of me as that life ruiner stupid bloody idiot