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Re: What the fuck

That makes a lot of sense @Saltwaterdreamtime and I really understand where you're coming from, I'll have to log off now so I'll have to go, but I think it would be a really good idea for you to head home if you can. Would you be able to call a support line if you start to feel worse?

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Re: What the fuck

I said I’m already @Andrea-RO
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Re: What the fuck

Ahh sorry, I didn't see while I was still writing my message, but I am glad to hear that you're home now Smiley Happy I hope you have a good sleep tonight @Saltwaterdreamtime !

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Re: What the fuck

Hmm
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Re: What the fuck

Sorry for being a pest @Andrea-RO
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Re: What the fuck

ahahhahaha oh no no don't worry @Saltwaterdreamtime, I am glad to hear you're home and well! 

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Re: What the fuck

Oh man I’m really in struggle town at the moment

im fine but also a little bit not... and it’s just lingering there and it’s really annoyibg 

I don’t know 

And this feels stupid even writing all this on here 

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Re: What the fuck

Hey @Saltwaterdreamtime , sorry to hear that you're struggling a bit at the moment... you've come through some really tough times in the last few months and you've overcome so much with finding a new place to live/ living through a global pandemic/ keeping your business going/ being a partner and dad - I don't know about you, but sometimes when I've had a huge amount going on I'm great at dealing with everything at the time, but sometimes then have a bit of a slump once I've moved out of coping mode. Does that make sense at all? It sounds really frustrating to have those feelings lingering. Is there anything you've found that's helped you in the past when you've been feeling like this? 

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Re: What the fuck

@Janine-RO  Hey that’s a really good point!!
Moving out of coping and just going through things because you have to and now actually living, it isn’t as seemless as I thought it would be, I’ve been just “coping” for most of my life and now I’m not just surviving I’m thriving... that’s a new concept for me. 

It’s like I’m a little concerned this will turn into something bigger but I’m also confident that it’s what you said, it’s just a weird transitional time, and I’m doing my best to manage it so it doesn’t turn into an ongoing issue again but it also feels so out of my control.
I hope that makes sense.


Basically I’ve been feeling a little anxious lately, and I know that sometimes this can go on for a couple of weeks before I “crack” and it just all turns to shit and I’m in bad space. I’m trying my best to not let that happen, hoping it will blow over but that “it will just pass” attitude has about a 3% succession rate, I have to actually deal with it so why aren’t the things that normally help not working? It just comes back. Maybe it is what you said, maybe it’s just a natural reaction to this new life I’m actually living in rather than existing
in. There is a lot happening at the moment. 

I’ve been trying to do a meditation at night because that’s when I notice I feel my heart rate increasing and starting to feel a bit funny, during the time it’s fine but then it ends and the feeling just comes back.  I’m happy though. I am happy. I can say I’m happy, genuinely and I haven’t been able to say that many times in my life. So I don’t get what’s up with me. 

 

 

Side note: the “this will pass” thing isn’t sitting with, and accepting that I’m feeling anxious, which is a known coping mechanism for many, i meant ignoring it, and quite often when I was at the peak of this I would feel pretty horrid in the mornings, ignore the signs, and try to get on with my day and end up in very serious struggletown by lunch time. 

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Re: What the fuck

Ready for another stupid story of mine that could have been prevented? Definitely does not help my steas levels but I did remain calm throughout.

Decided hey, I’m really going to wear a pair of wireless headphones while I work today, I really shouldn’t have, one fell out and under the customers decking. Not the decking I was working on. Just their decking. I couldn’t crawl under it was only about 6 inches deep and nowhere to get in. So I had to destroy a panel of the customers deck to get it out but also try not to destroy it and then catch up on the work I missed while spending an hour and half to wreck and patch up their deck. I was tempted to just snap the panel and say it just broke or their cat got stuck so I had to break it to get it out but idk what’s more of an obvious life.
Anyway I have a lot to do tomorrow and my hands are swollen and bruised from trying to make a big enough hole small enough for my hands to get on. God I’m such an idiot. R.I.P my hands.