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Worried about my Mum

not sure if this where to post this so sorry if this is wrong.

 

ive been worried about my Mum for nearly 2 years this year she’s this year she’s gotten much worse. I don’t know what’s wrong Rongelap with heh ugh I have i my suspicions but she’s been really moody and just not herself anymore. shes always been nice and compassionate non synoathetic but she seems to have lost most of her empathy over the past so years or so. She’s also been getting more annoyed at things and angry. There’s no major life’s changes that could contribute to this. She’s 

 also been not listening and forgetting stuff more like she doesn’t care what anyone else says or thinks. Even when it’s something Im an expert in or know for a fact she’ll dismiss me. She’s also been getting really annoyed when I point out she’s forgotten I told her something and even when I have proof she still blames me or just ignore she me. 

 

This is just not my mum anymore and I banter between a few things that could be wrong with her. I’m sure she can take tell something is up too but I don’t knows know to what degree. Sometimes I find myself hoping something is wrong because otherwise this is just her and I don’t like that option. 

 

Has anyone else been through something similar and what did you do?

Re: Worried about my Mum

hi @Shakeitup

welcome to RO and reaching out for support for your mum

im not really in the same situation but i do have a suggestion that you could try...

when you are both at home could you maybe try talking to her about this?

maybe start it off as ' hey mum, im abit worried about you. ive noticed some changes in you and wondering if your ok..?'

 

remember with these things going on to make sure you have support as well.. do you have friends or other family to talk to as well as having the support of RO?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Worried about my Mum

Hey @Shakeitup thanks for sharing your situation with us. I'm glad you've reached out here. Two years is quite a while for seeing your mum go through this kind of change. It's hard to say what's causing this - has she gone through some kind of life change in the past two years like changes at work or family-related matters? 

I like @scared01s suggestions about talking to her and if there are any other family members that you can talk to about this? It sounds like a big thing to be going through on your own. 

Re: Worried about my Mum

hi thanks for replying, i don't think there's been anything major, not that i can think of anyways. she does seem to be taking small things much harder than she previously has but i don't know if that is a causation or something to take into consideration. 

i have tried to talk to her about it. the first i thought i got through but obviously not, the second i was more vague and i think she though i was referring to my dad... then i tried again just a week ago and she got mad at me so that is on pause for now, we live in a small apartment and us fighting in said apartment just doesn't work well. 

i don't have anyone who can see what i see that's around her a lot, i do have friends that would listen and i want to talk to some of them but we're not an overly feelings chatting type of friends, neither am i so it's hard. i'm concerned about how much to read into what i'm seeing, if i'm just overreacting and putting things that aren't related together and cause i'm looking for things i'm picking up on things more, or if i'm doing the opposite and underplaying these things because of the put a frog in water and raise the temperature you can boil him to death metaphor. 

Re: Worried about my Mum

hey thank you for replying, i appreciate that even if you haven't been in the same scenario. i have tried talking to her and she got mad at me the last time i tried, she also mistakenly thought i was dad at one point. 

i do have other friends but i haven't really talked to them about it yet. i did try to reach out to one friend i know would be really helpful but she is in another city so i don't know i can do this on facebook or in a phone call. i've thought about some of my other friends and i will try bring it up but it gets a bit awkward when everyone is having a good time to bring it up. all my friends and i either study or work or both so we don't see each other a lot and i feel like we should be having a good time when we do see each other and i don't want to be the downer. 

Re: Worried about my Mum

side note to this following the last two comments any advice on how to bring this up with my friends for some support would be greatly appreciated. i'm not the best at discussing difficult issues and neither are my friends, if we see an exit we are all happy to bail, but i know that if i can keep myself on topic they will listen, i just don't know how to get there. 

Re: Worried about my Mum

Hey @Shakeitup,

 

It seems like you're having difficulties in trying to bring up this issue about your mum with your friends Smiley Sad

 

I've found in the past is that when discussing difficult issues, I found that it was easier to first talk about something that is easy to talk about or something that is talked about frequently. For example, my friends and I watch a lot of TV shows and usually when we hang out we often talk about what happened in the latest episode, bet on which character the main character will end up with, laugh about a joke that was mentioned, etc.  Once you and your friends finished talking about this, you might then find it easier to then talk about the difficult issue. If not, continue to chat about these easy topics until you feel like talking about the issue. Do you think this might help?

 

 

_________________________________________________________
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: Worried about my Mum

Hey @Shakeitup

 

Sounds like you are going through a rough time. Curious to know how things are going? 

 

@Esperanza67 had a really good suggestion of how to talk to your friends. Wondering if you have given that any thought. 

Re: Worried about my Mum

hey thank you for replying,

 

i'm going ok. i am planning out how to talk about it i guess. my dad for as non-observant as he is must have noticed something yesterday, he asked my mum if she needed her ears cleaned out. 

Re: Worried about my Mum

hey @Shakeitup thanks for replying! Glad to hear you're doing ok and that you're planning on how to talk about it. Let us know what else we can do to support you Smiley Happy
_________________________________________________________
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around