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Re: coping with pressures and expectations

Like the conversation went nowhere @scared01? If so, then what you've said makes sense.

Have you tried looking at @missep's tips yet? Personally, I use these tips as well when I'm struggling to cope with pressures and expectations
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

@Esperanza67 yep that is what i meant.

i have been doing some of those tips, like breathing and thinking of what makes me happy. i cant talk to the people who are putting pressures on me though
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

Hi @scared01,

 

This thread is such an important conversation to have and I am really glad you have raised this topic! Dealing with pressures and expectations can be really hard and I am sure that there are so many young people accessing the community who can relate to this!

 

There have been some great tips here from @Esperanza67 @missep and @N1ghtW1ng and it's great to hear you have been trying some of these tips too Smiley Happy

 

ReachOut has a resource here you might find helpful about dealing with parent/carer expectations.

 

Reading through this thread, I had an idea that I know has worked for me in past. When I have felt like I couldn't talk to someone about something important, I would go and speak to a professional and role play how I would start the conversation. This gave me more confidence to speak my truth and have important conversations. It helped to have thought through a plan about how the conversation would play out. 

 

I've also found it helpful to write down others expectations in a diary. When I've felt like others expectations have been sitting in my mind, writing them down would make me feel like I've put them back outside of my mind again. 

 

Do you think either of these ideas would be helpful?

 

I'm also going to tag a few active members here who might be able to contribute some more ideas Smiley Happy @Libellule @mrmusic @annabethxchase @ecla34 @seadreamer @Puppies026 

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Check out our community activities calendar for October 2019 here

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

hey @Jess1-RO and thank you!

yes i think many can relate i definently encourage anyone to post with either suggestion or their own troubles and we can all share what works. i always encourage and welcome any member.

i dont really have any professional support at the moment and helplines lately havent been helpful so for now i wont use that suggestion but perhaps writing down what others expect- which is a loooong list! might help...
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

hey @scared01, I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time lately, 

especially seeing as you're not in a position where you can talk to the people putting pressure on you about the way they're making you feel, it sounds really overwhelming Smiley Sad
I'm not sure if this will work for you, but in this kind of situation i usually try talk through what's going on with someone close to me or someone involved (who i trust). Is there someone you know you could have a chat to about this? 
Getting validation from the people around me about the way I'm feeling about unreasonable pressure helps me worry a bit less about not meeting expectations, maybe it might for you too?
Hope things are going ok! xx 




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We had a live Getting Real chat to do with Self-positivity, on Monday the 21st of October! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

hey @ecla34 and thank you for your post and suggestions.
i literally have no one. it makes it extremely hard to cope with anything. i cant talk to anyone because it always comes back to mum either them telling her what i said or i feel like whatever i say is like being held against her sort of thing. neither of which i like the thought of.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

Hey @scared01, how are you going today? It sucks to hear that you have literally no one Smiley Sad. But at least you have us <3. Here for extra support if you need to
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

hi @scared01
it's totally fair that you don't want people to think you're talking badly about your mum behind her back! especially if you're also worried she might hear about it, was that right? in your position i'd be fairly cautious too
how's the situation going for you now? did you give @Jess1-RO's diary suggestion a try? Smiley Happy
hope today's a good one Heart
 




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We had a live Getting Real chat to do with Self-positivity, on Monday the 21st of October! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

thanks @Esperanza67
the day started off really hard but i guess im ok this arvo besides pain. just trying to work out bills to pay tomorrow and working out friday.
yeah it really does suck i dont have anyone.

hey @ecla34 i dont like talking about people behind their backs thats why i find therapy hard because i know i need to talk about whats bothering me but i dont like to talk about.
yes i gave the diary suggestion ago but its not really for me, im not really a diary person esp since people use to read mine.there was nothing personal in it anyway but still. i learnt not to trust from a very young age.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: coping with pressures and expectations

No worries @scared01! Btw, are you still seeing that women's social group that I think you've mentioned to me about months earlier? Or if not, have you tried joining other social groups to meet new people?
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around