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Re: drugs getting the better of me

hey @j95  I'm so glad to hear that you're cutting down! Also, I'm proud of your girlfriend for letting her opinion known to you. You've talked about how much she means to you before, and this is a really good opportunity for you to show her!  It sounds like you have some decisions to make - it's really great that you have goals, but if you can get to the point where you are using it really infrequently, why not just stop?

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Re: drugs getting the better of me

@tsnyder
Well my girlfriend and I have only been together about 2 months (new relationship) and she has told me from when I started using that if I keep doing it, she will leave.
I wish it was that easy to just stop. All I'm saying is, I have to set goals for myself to get there, like its impossible to just stop cold Turkey and never touch the stuff again. It would be great if I could but let's be realistic, at some point during this I am going to want it, feel like I need it, and will act on that as much I don't want to. The way I work is small steps and goals. As much as I hate the stuff, it's filthy and not my thing at all - it makes me feel good. Surely every know and then its ok? I'd love for it to be gone out if my life forever but sometimes thats not always possible. when I'm at that point of using it very infrequently I may be able to say no forever, you just never know. I told myself just before I took it the first time that I would never ever touch it again, just this once..... well it's never that simple with drugs, they seem to get a hold of you quickly.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: drugs getting the better of me

NigioC, 

 

Sorry taken so long to get back to you. Thanks for the time taken to write this. I appreciate any friend or person that will take time out to have anything to do with a meth addict. I attended first meeting today and my expectations were a bit different to what was presented. Basically I was the new guy and each had their say and that was it. I was hoping for a link so that I could use to befriend as this was the first time at one of these meetings. Nobody really gave a fuck if I was there or not. ANd because the people who run and attend the meeting are all recovering addicts then they are all probably consumed in themselves trying hard to achieve their own results. I have this feeling that there is someone in the room that is my link. Al  strange things have happened and my parents are highly involved and actually quite understanding. I have still been using but now i am back at work it is considerably less. I will continue going to these meetings and unfortunately they are an hour away and mostly on at 8pm. So I am going to try AA and use that as my meetings and that will be near to where I live.

Thanks heaps because - I will always remember that you were the first person that responded and hopefully we can build a strong bond and who knows the results.

NigioC good luck, your the one.

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Re: drugs getting the better of me

blithe, thanks for the concern. I have managed to turn around a little and because I am back at work has taken up a lot of time that I could be using. I went to first CMA meeting today and will continue doing that. I have given up drugs  a few times for 5 - 6 year periods and always relapsed and that took me to bigger, better and more expensive drugs. I think this is my last chance and are now down to major things that can be lost such as house, job and family. Thats all i have managed to keep. But very shakily. I need to get off this shit and i know there is someone out there that will end up my rock. They are close by and possibly at this meeting. This meeting on a saturday is once a week and the others are all an hour away and in the city. Mostly at 8pm on a weeknight. Going to try AA as an approach that is somewhere local. I have also started some strange but different methods of giving up. I have been to rehab once for 5 days and that is not the place for me. I have to work to survive so I have no choice but to work this one out somehow?? I am trying a custom designed by me approach and have actually started writing I am a meth addict on my painted bedroom wall. I must write it somewhere on the walls everyday until I stop using. Along with that i have written I must video myself everyday until I stop. So I started with the go pro and video i am. So I now need to find my rock. I know there close by. Maybe its you.

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Re: drugs getting the better of me

Good for you @Ayaned - keep going to those meetings, they really will help.

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Re: drugs getting the better of me

Quick question - why was my original post here edited to remove the name of a drug but certain posts on here by other members (not mods or anything) on this thread have not been edited to remove a name of a different drug?

Pretty much why was my post edited and another person not? Thanks
Smiley Happy
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: drugs getting the better of me

Hey @j95 - I'm just checking back, it actually shouldn't have been taken out. It was taken out by a new mod. We don't allow the names of medications and I think she might just have assumed drugs as well. I'll put it back!

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

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Re: drugs getting the better of me

@Sophie-RO thanks for that, it didn't bother me, I was just wondering what happened there Smiley Happy
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: drugs getting the better of me

Hey @Ayaned that's awesome that you're getting to meetings. I'm really sorry no one reached out to you at your forst one. The idea behind AA / NA / CMA is that the newcomer is the most important person there and should always be greeted and talked to. Try and get to an AA, you'll find that they are much better at doing that. AA is the oldest fellowship and their principles, one of which is welcoming the newcomer, are taken very seriously. CMA is very new and they may not have developed that aspect yet. That being said, don't forget you can reach out too. If you go up to someone at a meeting (the suggestion is to approach the same sex, so it can't be misinterptreted as hitting on) and tell them you're new and trying to start your recovery, I feel sure you will get some support.

If you start talking to someone who has been doing recovery for a while, maybe they have 5 years of recovvery or more, you can also tell them your plan you have started. It's a really good idea to start opening yourself up to following advice from people who have been where you are and found a way to get recovery. They can really help.

 

Let us know how you go.

 

Hey @j95 

So sorry to hear about your struggles. It sounds like you're getting a bit of a handle on things and knowing your girlfriend won't tolerate it is helping. That's awesome. Well done for cutting down the way you have. It's such a heard thing to do, You should be really proud of yourself.

 

I wonder if you have managed to make contact with a Drug and Alcohol counsellor? Headspace have them and you can find others on the ADIN pages. They can be really helpful in helping you wade through those questions you have about whether you could live your life and never do coke again, or what it meanss to only do it every know and then. They can also really help you understand how you got there. Especially because you're someone who suffered through early exposure to drugs and the terriblle things they can do to people and their families. When you come from that and grow up swearing you'd never touch drugs because of what they do and then you find yourself using, that can be really affecting. You might feel better if you can talk it through with someone.

 

Hoe you're doing ok. 

Smiley Happy

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Re: drugs getting the better of me

thanks @NigioC I will check it out... 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//