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family and confidence

I am having family problems and i dont want to go and see a cousellor about it, my teacher has been helping me though the tough times, when i was getting bullied to going though family dramas. its not all my family, its my mum, she gets mood changes she is angry at you for no reason than some time later she is trying to be your friend again, she gets angry at me for no reason and she wont let me speak and say if i didnt do anything, she yells at you than walks away, thinks if something else to say and comes back to you and starts all over again.. latly she has been threatening me and sometimes she hits me.. i told my teacher that i feel like running away but he said it was a bad idea, but most of the time it doesnt seem that bad of an idea.. I really dont want to be seeing cousellors even at school!!! what should i do about it now??? please help.

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Re: family and confidence

Hi chloep

 

That sounds like a really tough environment to be in; you're doing well so far by sticking with it. Understand that she is probably going through some serious problems of her own, too, and she might need support to get through it, including support from you.

We have an article here that might help you to at least get things flowing better in terms of communication with your mum: http://au.reachout.com/Family-conflict-with-parents

For example, looking for, and taking, an opportunity to talk it out with her might help ease the tension and make things easier. She might be having difficulty expressing what help she needs from you… so give her the opportunity to do so.

 

I know you talked about not wanting to see counsellors over in this thread: http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Getting-Help/Professional-Help-is-awesome/m-p/7472/highlight/true#M...

I'd also encourage you to check out this topic, in which some members have talked about what to expect the first time you see a counsellor: http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Getting-Help/First-time-seeing-a-counsellor/m-p/4250/highlight/true...

 

If you don't feel up to talking to someone face-to-face, there is no harm in giving Kids Helpline a call and seeing how that goes. It's free and it wouldn't hurt to even just try it once, right? Their number is 1800 55 1800.

 

Hope that helps some. Let us know how you go.

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Re: family and confidence

Hey Chloep Smiley Happy

I was wondering, why is it that you don't want to go to the counsellor? Are you nervous about telling someone about all this, or are you worried the counsellor will try to talk to your mum/someone else about it? or something else? 

Keep in mind, counsellors are trained to help with difficult situations. They're also obliged to keep anything you say confidential, except under very dire circumstances. While it's great that you're able to to talk to your teacher about these things - and it's very good of him to be trying to help! - there's only so much a teacher can do. 

 

Stay strong! Feel free to come back and chat any time Smiley Happy

Dan.

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Re: family and confidence

Hi chloep 

 

You are a brave person to be looking for help and it sounds like your teacher is willing to help you and its great that you have him to support you. Have you told him that your mother is verbally and physically abusing you? 

 

It must be really scary when your mum changes her moods like that, my mother does the same, when she is angry over a different situation she will take it out on me and then when she is happy she expects what she did to be forgiven and that is not fair but I have gotten used to it  and so I can just imagine how hard this is on you. 

 

I think speakin to Kidsline will help you decide to do what is best for you because you deserve to feel safe at all times. 

 

I hope everything works out for you and please let us know how you go 

 

Take care of yourself Smiley Happy

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**
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Re: family and confidence

Hello chloep,

 

This sort of sounds similar to how my Mum used to treat me when I was around 18-19.  She was going through a lot of personal stuff and just blamed me for everything and took it out on me.  Because I was so depressed...I pretty much hated her and avoided her at all cost.  She got physical with me a few times, but my Dad was always there to break it up.  I never wanted to be at home.

My Dad told me I should go 'talk to someone'.  It made me want to punch him in the face and deny it anymore.  So I understand why seeing a counsellor seems like a non option for you!!  In the back of my mind I knew I probably should have, but I figured I could do it on my own...and I have...for years.  But it's taken 8 years of drama for me to finally see a therapist.  If an when you choose to go...it will be the right time for you.  In the meantime you could always talk to a counsellor online or something...like through headspace.com ...where you don't have to talk through things aloud and they won't know who you are.  It's a start.