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how do i feel happy again?

lately, for the past seven or so months, ive been pretty down and i dont know how to deal with it all. 

its actually the school holidays at the moment and ive noticed that once in every while ill be extrememly depressed and ill break down alot by myself. then there will be times and periods where i feel extremely empty and sad, but i wont be able to cry or express any sort of emotion, instead, i will feel everything crashing onto me and its all so overwhelming but i cant express any emotion.

Im not sure whats happening to me but during these periods ill be so sad and empty and its as if im in another body which i cant control but i feel every little insult, regret and every little thing affects me and all these emotions come rushing over me and it all hurts so much but then again, i cant physically feel break down and it just makes me feel so trapped and sick. in these periods i cant cry by myself or anything, ill just sit and stare off into space and it all pounds onto me silently


Im not sure which is worse, feeling so depressed that you cant hold in the tears at night, or feeling so empty inside that you physically cant express anything at all. It all hurts so much and the strange thing is, when im crying it hurts and i wish that could stop, but when  i enter the periods that i do stop crying, i wish that i could cry because everything is so overwhelming. 

And so, i dont know how to be happy, because i stop myself from crying when i can, but when i do stop it hurts too and im still sad. Im not sure whats happening to me and why im always so sad and helpless. 


could you guys help me, i dont know how to turn everything around. I lost my dearest uncle a few years back and im still crying everynight and im even sure why and everything that happens around me hurts and im constantly sad and depressed. 


how can i be happy when crying makes me feel so sad, whislt, also not crying is also so overwhelming and depressing.

thank you in advance guys, it all means so much to me and i just want to thank you all for taking time out to help me out Smiley Happy

Re: how do i feel happy again?

Hi @pipper 

That sounds like you're going through a really really rough time. I don't have much personal experience with what you're talking about but maybe I can ask a few questions to help.


Have you spoken to anyone about this? It's important to not bottle it up; share how you're feeling with someone you trust. It can not only give you some relief but it can help you learn to manage and understand what you're feeling better.

If you don't feel like you can talk to anyone you know about this, give Kids Helpline a call: 1800 55 1800. They're great for listening and giving advice for next steps.


Are you seeing a psychologist, counsellor or similar professional? If it's been going on for seven months and you're not seeing anyone, it's definitely worth considering. You can go visit your GP, tell 'em what's up, and they can usually give you a referral to the right sort of person for you. A lot of people on here have said it's made a huge difference (though be aware it might take a few different people to find the right professional for you).


Are you doing anything to manage how you're feeling during those moments when things feel overwhelming? Some people like to use the various threads on here to help them handle each day. Check out threads like What are you proud of?, Today I'm Grateful For…, and Three positives of today.

Alternatively, there's a bunch of various coping skills you can try, too. Our article on building better coping skills is one of our most popular.


That's a start at least. I promise that what you're feeling is not permanent and is something you can get on top of. Smiley Happy

Re: how do i feel happy again?

Hey @pipper 


It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time and it is great to see you actively seeking help. That is the first positive step forward. I can't imagine what you are going through but it is terrible to hear that you are feeling depressed, empty and sad and not being able to express how you feel must be very difficult as well. 


I think silence can be great but not being able to talk about how you are feeling can slowy break you silently and like Lex said, talking to someone can be a load lifted off your shoulders. I hope typing this up and sharing your story with us has made you feel a bit better tonight.


I think not knowing how to be happy is a normal and we all strive to be happy and I think happiness depends on what you want in life and what you are willing to change to be happy. It sounds like you are also going through grief from your uncle's passing as well, have you thought of seeing a grief counsellor?


I think it is important to deal with things one step at a time and Lex has given you some important information which might help you move forward. What can you do this weekend to lift your spirits up even just for a little bit? Exercise, sleep, TV etc.? 


We are here for you and here to support you 

Take care of yourself

**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: how do i feel happy again?



I can't really say more than what has been said.


Talking about the way you feel is a huge important step. A friend once told me that everything is fine as long as you don't keep it a secret, and I tend to agree with him.


Keep on being brave, you will be fine.

Re: how do i feel happy again?

thank you so much everybody for reading and helping me out @ruenhonx @Lex  @tesla-weapon 

Ive told just a bit about my uncle's death to a close friend but i dont talk about it much. I havent told anybody else about my depression though, so nobody knows and reachout is my only form of any sort of support so thank you so much for helping me  out it really means alot.

Thank you for the help and support, i think i might tell a friend first and i might see if i could see a counsellor if its necessary. again, thank you so much guys, it means alot Smiley Happy you are all so beautiful Smiley Happy



Re: how do i feel happy again?

Hey pipper Smiley Happy


Your post really reasonated with me - I've been through severe depression twice, the first time being a result of my grandpa's death. I think it's amazing that you've spoken about it a little with your friend. I know that was one of the hardest things I ever did but it's so comforting when you realize that there's people out there who are willing to listen, even if that's all they can do.


The title of your post was a question I struggled with for years (and still struggle with to a point). I think it's important to realize that learning how to feel happy again takes time, and although it might seem impossible right now, you CAN eventually get better and feel happy again. I (along with plenty of other people) am living proof of that Smiley Tongue


For me the most important things were finding a psychologist who was the right fit for me (she was the third one I saw, so like Lex said, it can take some time) and then learning how to build coping strategies. My psych and I always talk about having a 'toolbox' full of coping strategies that I can use when times get tough. One strategy I've found invaluable is chatting to Kids Helpline online and over the phone - you can actually talk to them about anything if you don't feel comfortable talking about the difficult stuff at first - I've had conversations involving roosters, Asian cooking shows and imaginary holidays I'd like to go on Smiley Tongue hahahaha


I hope that helps you feel a little less alone. Do stay strong and congrats on taking so many brave steps Smiley Happy



No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: how do i feel happy again?

wow thank you @lokifish you are too kind. that has really helped me. and i hope you are okay and i am so sorry to hear about your grandfathers death, i truly am. I hope you are better and thank you so much for your help it really made a difference. thank you @lokifish  it really means alot. i will try to take your advice Smiley Happy thank you, i dont think you even understand how thankful i am.