Hey there @blobby thanks heaps for this post, you're definitely not alone with this feeling. I think the key thing here is self-compassion. You're a human being and it's super normal to fall out of diets/nutrition etc. Try not to be too hard on yourself or too hard on your body Have you spoken to a counsellor or a parent about how you feel regarding body image?
Also no biggy but I did need to edit your post due to our community guidelines which you can read here