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i really want to die lol

uhm well i have absolutely no idea how to write this and tbh i’m not even sure if i’m going to post it, i’m already starting to get anxiety thinking about what people will say. okay so, i have really bad social anxiety and depression, but i might not. i’m so confused as to what is actually wrong with me, and i want to die, like i joke around about me killing myself and die, stuff like that, but i’m not joking. I don’t see myself anywhere in the future, i can’t picture myself doing anything important, i also don’t believe in love because of my parents and i’m scared of being heartbroken because i know that i won’t be able to handle that. anyway i’m getting off track.. i don’t even know where this is going and what i want help with... all i know is that i really don’t want to be in this world anymore, the only reason i’m still here is because of a sibling, yeah i know how original but it’s true, she’s the only reason i’d stay and she’s the only person i actually love. uhm i might just leave it here, because i know if i don’t stop writing now then i won’t be able to stop and fit everything in. Smiley Sad:

Re: i really want to die lol

Hey @xoxo_kisses!

Welcome to RO, and thank you for being brave enough to post this here Heart

Suicidal thoughts can be really tough to deal with... Can I just confirm if you're safe right now? And does anyone (such as your sibling) know how you're feeling?
______________________________________________________
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: i really want to die lol

Hi @xoxo_kisses,

 

It takes so much courage to make your first post and we want to thank you for taking that step to reach out for supportHeart

 

It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pain right and you might be thinking about suicide, is this correct? 

 

As @lokifish has mentioned about, your safety is super important to us- are you able to let us know if you are safe today?

 

You mentioned your sister is a really important part of your life. Do you have any other supports eg: professionals?



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Re: i really want to die lol

hello @xoxo_kisses and welcome

i dont have alot ot add to what the others are saying but your safety is definently inportant to us here.
Can i ask if you have a trusted teacher, friends or even your sibling that you could talk to (im not sure of your age or your siblings age)
i think it would be a really good idea to have some supports for yourself. hugs, and very well done for reaching out to us here. that was a very brave step and a great way to show that you would like some help and to get better Heart
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: i really want to die lol

i don’t know how to exactly reply to these messages but thank you, and no, i haven’t told anyone this stuff, i have a really bad problem with bottling my emotions up, so this is kinda the first time i’ve actually expressed myself. i’m 15 and my sibling is 4 yrs old, just thought i should add that as well.

Re: i really want to die lol

yes, i have suicide thoughts all the time but for now i’m fine, my little sister helps me not that she knows it or anything she’s only 4 yrs old. I also don’t see any professionals, i find it difficult to express myself without being anonymous, that’s mainly why i’m doing it now.

Re: i really want to die lol

hi @xoxo_kisses

a quick tip is when your talking to members you can tag them by adding an @ symbol their name as weve done for you here.
oh yes very young, she wouldnt understand. thats ok at least she gives you a reason to live. There is also headspace and kidshelpline that your welcome to use as well for extra supports and also set up weekly sessions with them.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: i really want to die lol

@xoxo_kisses I wanted to say how awesome it is that you have found us and have reached out for some help Heart 

When I first started experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression I also found it hard to talk about it unless it was anonymous, I was so scared of what others would think and how they would react that I bottled it up inside. Now I know that there are lots of caring people around that care and want to help Heart

Here are some links and numbers of some helplines that you can reachout to which also allow you to be anonymous, sometimes they might just ask for a name to identify you by Smiley Happy

 

Kids HelpLine (KHL) 1800 55 1800

Life Line 13 14 11

EHeadspace 1800 650 890

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

 

BeyondBlue 1300 22 4636

 


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Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: i really want to die lol

hello @xoxo_kisses

just checking in to see how your going?
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**