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talking to parents

Hi,

I'm not going into backstory of why I'm here and stuff, But I need help. I think I need to go to a headspace center, however, being 14, My parents obviously need to know about it, because they will have to drop me at appointments and stuff. How do I talk to my parents about going to a headspace center, or just getting help?

thanks

Re: talking to parents

Hey, I totally feel your pain, I know how difficult it can be to talk to parents about needing help. Do your parents know anything about what's going on for you? If not, perhaps it would be helpful to start with that, pick a time when they're not busy witth something and you know they're listening to you (dinner, for example), and maybe start with a kind of open statement like "Lately I've been feeling...." or "I've been thinking about..." 

 

If you find it difficult to talk about what's going on, maybe you'd like to write it down before you tell them, or even just email it them. I dunno if you might find that weird, emailing your parents, but that's what I did a few years back when I was pretty much in your situation. For me, it was just the easiest way to communicate what I needed without any dramas. 

 

If you're worried about how they might react, remember that they love and care for you, and ultimately they just want to see you happy. If this gets you the help that you need, any of the reactions from your parents will be worth it, right? Also, do you have a school counsellor that you could see? If you haven't already, maybe it would be helpful to see them first, and then if you still think you need outside help and if you're really worried about talking to your parents, perhaps your school can contact them for you. 

 

I'm very glad that you're actively working towards getting the assistance you need. Hope this helps a little, good luck, and I'd love to hear how you go with this. 

Re: talking to parents

Hi,

Thanks for the reply. My parents don't know whats going on for me, and it makes me feel alone. I like the idea of writing down what your planning on saying before talking to them, I'd never thought of that. Did emailing them work? I'd only do that as a last resort, but if I have too.. We do have a school councellor, but I have been there before, and I don't like them. Also, I think my problems are bigger than what the school councellor usually does, I know that sounds premature, but they mainly deal with friendship issues, and what I'm experienceing has nothing to do with that, and is much larger. I'll let you know how I go, when I build up the confidence. Thanks heaps.

Re: talking to parents

I'm not sure about your school, but from experience school counsellors should be trained to deal with a whole range of issues. I understand if you don't like them, but don't completely rule it out as an option. 

 

Emailing my parents worked quite well for me because I'm the kind of person who really struggles with talking face to face, and I communicate better through written words. It took a little while for them to grasp that I preferred to talk over email, but they did understand and I got the help the I needed. 

 

And remember you're never alone. There are loads of people even just here on RO that understand what you're going through and are here to support you Smiley Happy

Re: talking to parents

ok, I won't compleatly rule them out as an option. I struggle talking face to face too, unless someone else brings it up. so I might try emailing but im really not sure yet. my mum probably won't take me seriously unless its in person, so I'll try getting her to bring it up. I know you guys are always here, thanks.

Re: talking to parents

Hey Littlebear,

 

Great job on recognising that you want to go the a headspace centre!

 

Sometimes that really helped me when I was younger was having a conversation with my Mum about being able to go to doctors appointments by myself. I rationally explained to her why I thought it was a good idea and that sometimes I have private matters that I might not like to discuss with her. Fortunately my Mum was really supportive of this, but regardless is was a great conversations starter that got us talking about trust and respect and we resolved a lot of issues.

 

When you're suffering for mental health concerns or concerns around your wellbeing it can be a great help to have your parents on side, and so starting with a more general question might be a great way of launching into some of the harder stuff.

 

In terms of communication some tips:

- Keep you cool. When I used to get angry I'd immediately loose the attention of my parents.

- Compromise. Find a solution that suits you both, it might not be exactly what you had planned but your parents will have your best interests in mind.

- Know what you're going to say before. It helps to be prepared and maybe even practice!

- Be youself and be honest. You can't expect anything more from yourself that to be you and tell the truth.

 

Keep us posted on how you go and let us know what helped you have this convo!

 

Atma

Re: talking to parents

Hi Atma, 

 

Thanks for the suggestion of seeing a doctor alone, I think thats what I was really afraid of, that mum'd want to come with me. and thanks for the four dot points t the end about what to do when I'm talking to them about it, because i would have followed about two of them. I sure will keep you posted.

Re: talking to parents

hi littlebear
it could be a good idea if you contact kids help line if you want to have a phone chat,
the number is 1800 55 1800. its free and fantastic
keep in touch
JJR

Re: talking to parents

When you are from different countries the teaching cultures get in the of decent help from folks who hard on teachings like,"The elders know you best..." or the "Children are not to heard but seen theory..." Boy, I hate that saying!!!!

I am from a Asian family and sometime they expect too much of me, as they want me to happy 100 % at all times, I long to bellow at em, ,THAT IS PLAIN IMPOSSIBLE, AND DON'T SAY i DO NOT KNOW., AS I HAVE SEEN YOU BLOW YOUR STACK AS MUCH AS I DO WITH MINE! THE WAY YOU WHIP MY HIDE EVERY TIME VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY WHEN I BLOW MY TOP IS DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!!!!