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Re: therapy issues

hi @Bre-RO
what I don't really understand is why I just cant seem to connect with a therapist. I feel like there is something wrong with me. ive been through quite a few and really tried to make it work out except for the 2 I knew wasn't going to work straight off as they were more aggressive and to triggering for me.
I know its not really helpful but sometimes ignoring my isues helps, not so much burying my head and trying to ignore it but more like putting it to the side and leaving the worries for later on.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: therapy issues

Hey @scared01 

 

I can see your not being able to connect with a therapist really gets you down. I assure you there's nothing "wrong" with you. This is a very common problem people have when searching for a therapist.

 

Everybody has different communication styles, different therapeutic models work for different people and at the very least it can just feel awkward to sit with someone you don't know very well and tell them all your feelings. So with that said - forgive yourself for not having found the right fit just yet, it's not a reflection of you as a person Heart 

 

Also, I think leaving problems to the side for when you're able to address them is a really good coping strategy! I think there's a difference between being avoidance and revisiting issues when you are up to tackling them.  

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Re: therapy issues

thank you @Bre-RO
maybe when I have more time to focuss on myself I might be able to connect to a therapist or something
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: therapy issues

@scared01 I think it's reasonable (and says a lot about your character) to not like to talk about others behind their backs. Sometimes talking about things might not change anything, we know it can't change the past or the fact it happened. But something I've been learning is that although some things in the past happened and were bad, talking about them - for me at least with my psychologist is helping me see the impact that those things had on me and contributed to who I am and why I find things hard today.
I think there is a difference between talking about a person and their actions. So talking about the events themselves isn't necessarily talking about the person but their actions.

I also can appreciate how big that fear must be that other services may be involved if you open up, or have it seem as if your parents don't care. I can relate to this fear, but for different reasons. I know for me I never really got through that fear, and I know at times it still holds me back in conversation about things and in my own healing with my psychologist (but I'm getting there). It takes a lot of courage, wisdom, and care to care for your siblings while your parents work and everything else, on top of your mental health. It is a lot to manage. I want you to know that I see this and I admire your strength and determination for following through. Heart

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: therapy issues

Hi @scared01 

I was reading your post and found it really relatable. I've seen a few counsellors and found I didn't really 'connect' with them until the 3rd one. I can understand how this could probably have you feeling a bit down - it made me feel like maybe there was just nothing they could do to help me and that was pretty upsetting. But I think that's important to notice that there will just be some people you naturally click with more. It sounds like you were able to recognise this with the 2 you found triggering. Sometimes just feeling comfortable with someone can be a real advantage in the therapeutic process. If it's a continuing concern, do you think bringing this issue up with the therapist and discussing it openly would help? It's really great to hear you've been able to stick with seeking help when you feel you need it though! 

Re: therapy issues

hi @_Star_Gazer_17_ and thanks for your response
I have spoken a lot with the therapist but I just don't feel comfortable around her. I don't really want to go anymore anyway. I guess there just comes a point where therapy is as far as youll get.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: therapy issues

Hey @scared01 

 

It sounds like you've given it your absolute best, getting to know your therapist and trying to be comfortable around her - I think you should be really proud of yourself for giving it your best.There's nothing wrong with taking some time to reflect on what kind of therapist you'd feel comfy with, what kind of therapy you like, what kind of setting. Heart 

 

 

Re: therapy issues

I can definitely relate to this Smiley Sad Heart For what it's worth I really don't think that the process not helping you means you're at fault (or even that anyone is, necessarily). It's ok to stop if it's not helping. I hope that if you keep pursuing therapy that you find something that works for you. I hope that if you don't you find other things that help you to heal. Because you really deserve to be ok. Thanks so much for all the support and understanding you show here ieven with everything going on for you

Re: therapy issues

thank you @Bre-RO Heart
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: therapy issues

thank you @hellofriend that's very kind post Heart
helping others helps me to
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**