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therapy issues

hi everyone


Im having some troubles with therapy and i think its my fault. i dont really know what to do about it either. ive been seeing this psychologist for just over and year and the more i go the less i want to talk. even after a year i still dont feel all that comfortable with her. i havent really ever been able to connect to a therapist in the 3 years ive been seeking help so im thinking maybe its just me? 

what do you think?



@Bre-RO @Claire-RO @Jess1-RO @WheresMySquishy @Bee @letitgo @DruidChild @xXLexi_Lou122Xx @Tiny_leaf @Beautifullybroken @Esperanza67 @N1ghtW1ng 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: therapy issues

@scared01 I know how you feel.. finding a good therapist is so difficult, and finding a good therapist that you "click" with is even harder...

Some people are lucky and find one on their first go, for others it takes time, persistence and a lot of trial and error.


It's not fair to blame yourself for this.

If a treatment isn't working, or for if some reason you can't participate in it, it isn't your fault.

It means that the treatment needs to be altered to work for you, or you need a different treatment.


Does your current psych know about the therapy not working, and has she tried other approaches?

If not, it might be worth asking her about.

If she has, or if the relationship is "broken" to the point where you can't approach her, is finding a new therapist/ psychologist a possibility?

Re: therapy issues

Hey @scared01.
This isn't really my area of expertise, but I'm here for you if you need to talk. Smiley Happy

I'm sorry you've been feeling this way, especially when it comes to feeling like it's your fault.
I can tell you now, it's definitely not your fault.

I completely agree with @Tiny_leaf. It does take a lot of trial and error.
I was lucky and got one that ''clicked'' with me first try. Until she left to go on maternity leave, and then her clinic got shut down. So now I don't see anyone, except for my guidance counsellor, who is too busy for me anyway.

But that's all I have to say, I'm sorry.

Hope you're doing better today.

// Nothing is impossible. The word itself says "I'm Possible" //

Re: therapy issues

Hi @scared01 


I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling this way, I don't think that it is your fault at all. Connection is something that doesn't come easy especially when you are being vulnerable and sharing so much of yourself. I think @Tiny_leaf has some good suggestions about talking  to your psychologist about your current situation, it may help them in building better connection with you, maybe there are some new approaches they could use. Sometimes people can get into a routine and they don't even realise, so letting them know may just open their eyes up. Heart



Re: therapy issues

 Hello @Tiny_leaf @xXLexi_Lou122Xx @Claire-RO 


I have spoken with her at my last session, i guess thats part of the reason im struggling with the therapy. I did speak with her and let her know that im not finding therapy that helpful and we went through a few things but she just seemed to get annoyed at me. i said it wasnt her fault which i dont think it is, she is trying to help me but i seem to go abit better not going to therapy then when i do. i really only went well at the start with my very first therapist but the possibility of going back to see her isnt there any more so ive tried to build other connections but this is the 6th therapist ive seen. i dont know how many therapists and different therapies its going to take for me to be ok going to a session. 

She honestly hasnt done anything but try to help. as in she hasnt broken my trust or anything but i just cant seem to be comfortable in going to the sessions. its not even the content we talk about- i feel rather limited in this as the other topics i need to talk about i just cant do it yet its to much for me. its the entire vibe of the place it seems, even thinking about going to the centre makes me quite nervous

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: therapy issues

@scared01 I agree with the advice given already by the other users.

One thing that stood out for me in your last post was this sentence.
"its not even the content we talk about- i feel rather limited in this as the other topics i need to talk about i just cant do it yet its to much for me"
Feeling unable to talk about the topics you need to is such a difficult one, and one which I have been working on with my psychologist recently.
Is there anything in particular that scares you about talking about the topics you need to?
For me, for a long time I thought that no one would believe how I was feeling, and thus kept my emotions bottle up inside, which lead to me being unable to express how I felt to someone. It took me a long time to be able to sit in front of someone and talk about something openly. Even today, if something is difficult emotionally I'm much better at writing it down than verbally speaking it. And I think part of that is because when I did start seeking help, it was through written form, and talking to people about challenges and difficulties has always been hard for me.

You mentioned that thinking about going to the centre makes you nervous. Is there anything, in particular, do you think that makes you nervous?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: therapy issues

hey @Bee i spoke to her about my issues with opening up about the things i struggle to talk about. one of the reasons is because i dont really like to talk about other people behind their backs even though their treatment towards me isnt great, another reason is that its been this way for as long as i remember so its also kind of normal to me along with knowing that my talking about it isnt going to change anything either.
like you ive had alot of self expression issues in general and not being beleived as well but i dont think its that this time.
it really just seems pointless.

the centre i cant pinpoint what it is but i dont like going there, it just makes me nervous. perhaps because alot of young people go there and i often worry if ill run into someone i know.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: therapy issues

Hey @scared01, thanks for tagging me in this thread Smiley Happy. I believe that the others have given great advice - therapy is really all about trial and error, and I can definitely vouch for this from my own personal experience! I especially like @Bee's idea communicating by writing it down if you feel uncomfortable talking about it verbally Smiley Happy. You've mentioned that you don't like to talk about people behind their backs, even though those same people didn't treat you well, am I right? May I ask is it because you feel bad for doing so and hence that explains why you struggle with opening up about the things you want to talk about?

Also, you've previously mentioned that you don't like attending the centre as it makes you feel nervous, am I right? I was wondering if you have brought this up with your psychologist yet to see if you both can come up with ways to make you feel nervous and more comfortable coming into the centre?
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: therapy issues

i do feel bad for doing so @Esperanza67 and i also worry that they will try to involve other services. i take care of siblings alot due to parents working but i dont want it to see like the parents dont care.

no, i havent brought it up with her about being nervous to go there i dont even feel comfortable in doing that.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: therapy issues

Hey @scared01 


I think it's really common that people struggle to open up about certain topics in therapy. Be gentle and kind with yourself - it's okay to need time to talk about certain things. It's also natural to want to protect yourself and your family, as long as your safe. I'm glad that you do feel comfortable to talk about things on forum Heart