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what am i meant to do?

Back story- so last might I called lifeline because I was suicidal and the voices were screaming at me bad things. Yhr cops were called then I got admitted to hospital.
So anyway. They kicked me out of hospital today. I still want to die and still have the voices screaming at me to kill myself. I told the doc that but they didnt listen and sent me home with sleeping tablets because I've not been sleeping much.
I don't know what to do. Its So hard fighting all of this and I want to give up. I'm over it. Why do I even bother to get help....
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Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: what am i meant to do?

Hey @redhead 

 

I'm so sorry you have been feeling so down. Sounds like you have had a really rough 24 hours. Have you ever called The Suicide Callback Service? They might be able to help you control the voices in your head and talk you through some tips to get you through the next 24 hours. https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

 

You make such a valuable contribution to ReachOut and I am so proud of everything you have achieved. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Please, hang in there. We want you to be safe.

 

I know where I live they have lots of mental health services through the hospital. Why don't you call the hospital and see what they can do for you? I know you have tried explaining to your doctor, but it might be worth trying to tell someone again. Let them know that you are not safe.

 

Please tell me how you go. We are here to support you.

lanejane

Re: what am i meant to do?

Ps I know you would have seen this before, but I want to share this RO information with you.

 

Emergency help

Thinking about comitting suicide

Suicide is not the answer

A personal story about suicide

lanejane

Re: what am i meant to do?

I don't have any credit to call suicide call back service.
I tried lifeline again, but it didn't help....

And the hospital is useless. There is nothing else they can do for me.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: what am i meant to do?

Hey @redhead
I cant imagine what you are going through right now and with voices screaming at you, it must be so overwhelming and very difficult to think. How have you calmed the voices before? Could you do the same now?

Is there anyone you can speak to like a friend that can help you stay safe?

You are so strong, you have lasted this long and you can continue on fighting and you coming on the forums shows that you still have the fighting spirit in you.
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**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: what am i meant to do?

Hey @redhead 

 

How are things at the moment?

 

Sounds like you've had a massively full on experience. And I know you've been through so much. Way more than most people will ever have to experience. And it's easy to see how incredibly strong you are when you get up after being bowled over like this.

Your ability to keep getting up is truly amazing. And something that you can be incredibly proud of. You have so, so much tenacity and resilience. Think of all the amazing achievements that is going to help you achieve when you're feeling better. 

 

I know you have all the numbers. If you've got no credit but yu need immediate help, call 000.

 

How are you feeling about tomight? Might be a good night to hang out in Reach Out. Smiley Happy

Re: what am i meant to do?

@redhead , I am really sorry to hear how much of a rough time you are going through at the moment, I have a suggestion about the voices try putting earphones on and play music loud enough to drown the voices, this could hopefully also help change your thought pattern, if you have music that doesnt trigger bad thoughts or memories I would definately give that a go, a song that makes you happy that you can dance around acting silly and happy, to change how you feel... 

I really swear I would be there with you in a heart beat if I knew where you lived to make sure you were safe.

I totally understand how upsetting it is to feel like this and not get any support from our hospitals or health system, it makes you feel like that you dont matter to anybody and that they would be happier if you weren't wanting to stay in hospital to keep yourself safe because that would give them something to do, and clearly shows that didnt care about what happened to you,

I had the same thing happen to myself a couple of years ago so I know exactly how you feel, and basically if you didnt feel bad enough being in hospital after feeling the you do, you feel 100 times worse being discharged when you no better than when you were admitted....

I had a feeling you were going through a rough time over the last couple of weeks when I've seen that you have posted in the early hours of the morning, I will be up all night so if you need to hangout here to stay safe i will wont let you down and will be here for you, as we all are..... Take Care 

Re: what am i meant to do?

@redhead From having a look at the suicide callback service website you can actually do online chat too. It's free and confidential, and open 24 hours a day, every day of the year.

 

https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/register

 

 

They also have some material you can look at to help when you are feeling suicidal.

 

 

Let us know how you go. We are all thinking of you!

lanejane

Re: what am i meant to do?

Thanks guys.


I'm staying at a friend's for a few days to stay safe. And hopefully it will pick my mood up too.


The voices have calmed a bit now. I think having a good night sleep last night and keeping busy today helped.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: what am i meant to do?

Hey @redhead 

 

I'm so glad to hear that. You have so much strength and staying with a friend is a really good idea.

 

You know where we are if you need anything Woman Happy

lanejane