I‘m sick of making my parents disappointed when i’m not happy enough.
I’m sorry they spent so much money on this stupid holiday, i didn’t ask for it i just wanted help.
I don’t want them to be stressed and the guilts making it so much worse.
I’m horrible i’m ugly i’m disgusting i don’t deserve anything please don’t worry about me.
Everyones better than me i shouldn’t exist.
I just want to be happy again.
I hate everything and a significant amount of people i known this makes me a terrible person it’s because i hate myself the most.
this is my first time being somewhat honest i’m sorry i hate it
please help me
@Sammyye welcome to the RO forums,- It's a massive step to open up and be honest for the first time
Sounds like you're in a really rough place right now. It can be so hard to feel like you're disappointing your parents by not being happy or okay.
I want you to know that it's okay to not be okay. And it's okay to need help.
You've spoken about not existing, and I just want to check in with you on that - are you having thoughts of ending your life? Are you able to stay safe from those thoughts?
You can contact these services here if you need to talk this through with someone now.
I'm also wondering if you've ever spoken to anyone else about how you've been feeling? Sometimes talking this stuff out with a counselor or psychologist can really help.
Let us know how you are
Last Friday (3rd of May) we had a chat live to Bart from Livewire about chronic illness, music, and...
thanks so much for replying ♥️
@gina-RO thanks so much. i have a therapist but i don’t really open up to her. i don’t know why, i guess i feel like i’m doing something wrong,... like i’m too much. so yeah i don’t think she knows how bad it is. i’m really not an honest person and i feel like when i do open up to like my parents and my therapist they might not even believe me, because i’m so used to acting like i’m fine which means i don’t bother telling them. i’m terrified of anyone outside of my family knowing i’m not okay and i don’t know why. I’m dreading going back to school because the acting’s getting exhausting. i’ve had thoughts, and even admittig that’s terrifying for me, but i don’t think i would do anything. I don’t wanna upset anyone.
thank you so much for replying it makes me feel better♥️
it sounds like your having a pretty rough time right now and im glad you have reached out for support.
It can be pretty hard reaching out to a therapist and being honest with them and i can understand that, is it the talking part that you find the most difficult?
Some people (myself inlcuded) have written whats wrong on pieces of paper and handed it to their therapist becasue theyve been embarrassed or afraid (which is perfectly normal and fine!)
Re: thanks that’s rlly helpful ☺️
Talking can be pretty tricky as well as worrying if someone will believe you or judge you for what your saying.
where are you currently on holidays?
Things to check out:
Infobus is back, and we spoke to Livewire about all things chronic illness and music. Check it out
Is there a topic you'd like to talk about? Suggest it for a GR here!
Self love: Share three things you like about yourself!
Seen something fantastic on the forums?
Click here to nominate awesome posts for a Friday Five!