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Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

Leave a sneaky link to reach out.com for them to peruse in their own time Smiley Wink

Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

Don't force them to do what they don't want to do. That's pretty important. It can be hard to sit by and watch your friend make some bad decisions or the situation escalates but don't want help. In this case, finding out who can support them better than you can is one way to go. 

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Stay excellent

Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

@copse Hahahaha, I actually love that answer! And it's actually a really good idea! Sometimes its easier to get help off people you haven't met / know (like us guiz on reach out) then it is to admit to people that you do know that something bad is going on for you.

Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

What are some things we can do when our friend says that they don’t want us to help them?

 

I think first I'd have to respect their decision, but tell them that I am there to support them if / when they want to talk or company.

I care about my friends, so it's hard for me not to have them in my thoughts, and wonder how they are going.

So checking up on them maybe later in the day, or the next day, whatever you feel is appropirate - would be a loving thing to do.

 

WHen i have said that, unfortunately, sometimes friends took me at my word, and i never heard from them again, until i called to meet for coffee weeks later when the trouble had passed. lol.

Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

@Myvo That's true as well! Trying to force our own ideas of what "they should do" onto them can make them feel even more stressed about something. They might also feel like they can' talk to us about anything else.

 

I think my big ticket thing is just remind them that you're still there for them if they decide they want help. If I'm really worried about them then I might talk to someone else (like their family or other friends) and see if someone else might have better luck then me.

Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

sorry guys i have to go - got stacks to do before tomorrow, just realised. have a good chat Smiley Happy
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

@Bronte9 I actually find it stressful if I know one of my friends is in trouble / having a rough time and I can't help them / they don't want me to help them. It can be really hard wanting to just do something and not being able to!

Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

@j95 Enjoy your lollies! Hopefully they give you a burst of energy Smiley Tongue

 

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Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

Kitkat, that is interesting you say that, cos sometimes it is indeed easier to get help off people you haven't met, like just give Lifeline a quick buzz and talk things over out loud. Which is good when you don't have anyone at home to natter to about stuff whilst doing the dishes , say.

Makes me wonder though: is that a good thing? Do you think we should be opening up to our closer friends first, instead of keeping it all to ourselves and thinking we need to put up a good front to our friends for fear of losing them?
Or would they feel honoured that you opened up to them ?

I don't know, I have had it both ways ... i' ve opened up to a gf about something big, and she criticized me and gave advice and laughed at me hahaha!!
and then, I have decided to open up to another close friend, and I really felt heard and validated.

Re: [CHAT] How to help a friend

And that brings us to our next question! Sometimes looking after our friends and worrying about them can be really exhausting to us! 

How do we know that you should take some time out for ourselves?