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Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

After tonight, what are some things you are going to do for yourself? 

 

I'll have to go to bed pretty soon, since I have an early start tomorrow, so that will be the thing I do for myself tonight!

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

After tonight, what are some things you are going to do for yourself? 

 

When I am feeling sad I think I will try and write out a list of things my friends would say to me. Kinda combines the "what would your friends say to you" and "write a list of good things about you".

 

I might keep it in a diary and open it up when I'm feeling sad.

 

I sometimes do that with some "fuzzies" that people wrote for me at camp once, and it seriously is such a mood booster! 

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“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

After tonight, what are some things you are going to do for yourself?

 

 

Well the first thing is that I am going to write that list, for the moment to get myself to acknowledge that I am (or have reason to believe that I am ) these things.

Then I'm going to put that list somewhere accessible for later times, as per @Chloee's suggestion Smiley Happy

 

And more on going, I'm going to try to not talk badly about myself to others. There's one friend I have where we both somewhat jokingly talk ourselves up, while with everyone else our conversations about ourselves are always negative. I'm going to aim to talk a bit more positively about myself to these people.

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Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

@Alison5

 

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“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Maybe we should all have a check in tomorrow to see how we did with self-love and positive self-talk? Smiley Happy

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

I love that making a list of positive compliments is so many people's self-love thing to do!! I've done a similar thing in a group where we all wrote compliments for each other, and I can testify to how nice it is to read them when you're feeling down

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

@Birdeye that's such a good point. A lot of my sense of humour is self-deprecating, which is not great. But a lot of it is also talking myself up ("Yeah, that's just because I'm fabulous", or "Yeh, I know, I'm just the best"), which I do really sarcastically. Maybe we can find a balance between the two and be optimistically realistic Smiley Happy
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“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

@May_ that's a good idea! Feel free to make a follow-up thread Smiley Happy

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

TREAT Yo'SELF

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

We've talked a lot tonight!! Here's a summary for anyone who wants a quick rundown:

 

In some ways, self-love is pretty straightforward - basically loving ourselves! Learning to appreciate the good and the bad, and knowing that we deserve to be loved. That being said, it is important to have a realistic sense of our abilities and needs

 

That would make self-kindness important, wouldn’t it? Without it, you might not meet your basic needs for mental health or wellbeing (or even be aware of them). Being kind to yourself can build confidence and courage, and make for more fulfilling relationships. It also isn’t realistic to constantly focus on negatives, when we’re all so much more complex than that.


It’s so easy to fall into that self-hating trap, and for many reasons. Society is full of one-size-fits-all standards which we have to reach, regardless of whether we can or even need to. It certainly isn’t a good message to hear if you’re already a perfectionist, and society can sometimes interpret self-love as arrogance and selfishness

 

So what do you do, when you’re struggling to remind yourself that you’re worthy? Well, a short answer would be: so many things! Practicing positive self-talk regularly, celebrating little victories and acknowledging our talents is a start. You could also try thinking about how you would treat a friend - you’d never be so mean to someone you cared about, would you? So, just apply that to yourself! Be your own best friend!!

 

It isn’t necessarily easy to learn to love yourself, and if you aren’t at a place where you’re too kind to yourself, it’s okay! Self-love takes time and practice, and just thinking about how to love yourself more is an amazing step.

 

Thanks everyone for the amazing session!! Hope everyone got something out of tonight Smiley Happy