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Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relaiontships

I think you raised a really interesting point @stonepixie about counselling the abuser! A lot of people sit on the fence on this idea, like you @Chessca_H but there are people who use and practice these services. Sometimes there are people who don't want to leave their abusive partner, even if they recognise the abuse as wrong. These services exist to help both partners learn to cope and deal with the situation and keep the person being abused as safe as possible. 

 

Moving on to question number six:

 

If you knew a woman who was experiencing an abusive situation, what do you feel would be some good ways to help her?

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relaiontships

"These things may not be a warning sign on their own, but combined...

- Big romantic gestures at the beginning
- Wanting to quickly commit/INTENSE
- wanting you all to himself/JEALOUS
- Need for constant contact
- sweet and caring/then put you down - a cycle
- Will play the victim"

 

Ugh, that just completely described the worst relationship I ever had. Every single thing on that list, happened. I didn't really get that it was emotional abuse until after it was over. Smiley Sad

 

On the plus side, that relationship taught me a lot about what a bad relationship is and what kind of warning signals to watch out for in the future!

 

blithe

 

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relaiontships

Me either, but I guess a good place to start would be to look at his/her parents' relationship. @Chessca_H

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relationships

If you knew a woman who was experiencing an abusive situation, what do you feel would be some good ways to help her?


Let her know that you are there and on her side.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relaiontships

We also need to remove this notion that says that men can't be victims of DV.

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relaiontships

Such a common process @blithe - even when you know all the theory sometimes you don't realise it when you are in it!

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relaiontships

If you knew a woman who was experiencing an abusive situation, what do you feel would be some good ways to help her?

 

I would just try and be as supportive as possible, whether or not they feel like they can leave their abuser. I think that pushing them to leave would only cause them to push you away due to the reasons we've discussed, so just giving them as many resources as possible would probably be best.

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relaiontships

Absolutely true @stonepixie , also need to remove the idea that DV only occurs in heterosexual relationships

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relaiontships

If you knew a woman who was experiencing an abusive situation, what do you feel would be some good ways to help her?

 

Let them know of refuge centres around them. Depending on you feel about it, you can give them your phone number so as you can help them leave. You can also call the police as a concerned citizen. There are many different ways of helping.


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [CHAT] White Ribbon Day & healthy relationships

@blithe Welcome to the GR sesh Smiley Very Happy I love that you were able to take something away from a bad experience and use it. I definitely reckon that a previous relationship of mine that was rather unhealthy taught me a lot about myself and helped me develop a much stronger-sense of self / helped me speak up for myself when I'm not happy.

 

And @redhead I honestly think that is so important. I'm glad you brought it up first thing! Unhealthy relationships can make you feel really isolated (and sometimes the abusive partner can try and encourage this isolation). Having a friend or family member or really even just anyone who will support you is such an amazing thing to have.