cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

Great resources @stonepixie I love smilingmind too!

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

Thanks @Student94 and @safari93 for co-facilitating tonight's session. See you all back here in a fortnight! Hope everyone has a lovely long weekend. I'm going home to my fambam. The nephews and niece are more excited than I am, which is a bonus. Smiley Happy

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

Do you think there is a way to ‘become friends’ with your inner bully?’

 

I really like the suggestions others have made so far. I feel inspired to keep on top of my inner bully, knowing i am not alone in this battle.

 

For me, becoming frineds with my inner bully is really working on increasing my self esteem and making friends with myself. Loving myself more than any other, first! And then my cup's all full to give and share to others.

Although when i am feeling down, or challenged lol, then often doing something for someone else gets that inner bully to do a complete turnaround, or should i say, he just shrinks and disappears away!

I think i read that in some NLP book about the shrinking.

 

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

1- Perspective. Don't just look at it through your eyes, but through the bully's as well. Even if that bully is your inner bully, you never know what you might be going through without realising it.
2- SmilingMind, MoodGym, ReachOut, all these help website are great each with different and similar ways. All the help you need and all the help to get what you need.
3- Inner bully and inner anti-bully. Smiley Happy Negative and positive. Recognise the bully, and find the anti-bully. The anti-bully doesn't have to be positive thoughts, it can be anything that helps you be positive and overcome the bully.
_________________________________________________

Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

You guys seem to have a lot of insight into your inner bullies!! We mentioned negative self-talk, self-doubt, second guessing and high standards all contributing to that negative voice. That voice can also manifest in different ways: Putdowns, statements which reduce self esteem, beating yourself up over small things, making you feel inadequate or making you behave in harmful or annoying ways towards others

As to whether a real-life bully or an inner bully is worse, there seems to be an interrelation between inner bullies and actual bullies and they can contribute to each other. People also mentioned that you can have less control over an inner bully Some of the differences between the two seem to be the fact that you can influence an inner bully more, its easier to justify inner bullying and that inner bullying is harder to spot. Also, a real bully has an audience while an inner bully is with you 24/7

So many ways of picking yourself up after experiencing inner bullying: rebuilding your life, building up the courage to meet new people, focusing on other things in the environment, getting professional help and even proving your inner bully wrong. As for support to overcome the inner bully, it can from family and friends, you can use logic or point out inconsistencies, saying opposing statements to oneself or use a friend or family member as a sounding board person. An important one: support networks and mental health support. We also have a bunch of strategies you can use to outwin your inner bully: self-care type things like gentle exercise and art, friends, or even yourself!!

Also the question: can you be friends with your inner bully? Possibly, as a way to examine inner beliefs and attitudes, remembering past mindsets, or as a coping mechanism

And three tips? Remember those negative comments (for future reference of course), talk to someone, and read our articles!! Speaking of:

 

What is self-talk?

Challenging negative thinking

Improving self-esteem

 

Thanks for coming out guys!! Have a good night Smiley Happy

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

Oh it's all finished? I'm a bit of a slow typer then, haha.

Thank you everyone and to RO for having these sessions.

Good night all, and have a good word for yourselves in front of the mirror tonight before lights out!

You can conquer that bully!

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

You can do it, @JillyP !

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

@stonepixie enjoy! And thanks to the mods for being awesome! And to all the newbies who joined us! And the oldies Smiley Happy
So glad I could make it today, I hoped I helped some of you with your inner bullies or just in general Smiley Very Happy
_________________________________________________

Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

Highlighted

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

How do you define your inner bully? Describe him/her/it. Is your inner bully negative self-talk (ie. is it the voice that makes you feel crappy about yourself?

 

My innner bully constantly tells me that I will never be good enough, that I am useless and worthless, that I will never get better. 

 

It is a constant back and forth between my inner bully and positive self-talk and coping skills, to get me through. 

 

Definitely proving my inner bullying wrong by doing the things that it tells me that I will fail at. 

Re: [CHAT] Your inner bully

@JillyP Our pleasure! Thanks for coming along to these sessions, we really value your input Smiley Happy