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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

Here's our lucky last question!

How can we cope with dating-related concerns? Have you ever discussed a dating-related issue with someone? What helped and what didn't?

giphy

giphy

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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

How can we cope with dating-related concerns? Have you ever discussed a dating-related issue with someone? What helped and what didn't?
I think that working out how you feel and effective communication can really help us cope with dating concerns. Using whole messages and 'I feel' statements, as well as being assertive rather than being too passive or aggressive, can be helpful. I've also found that turning to family and friends for support can be really great, provided that they are supportive and respectful of your decisions.
I can't really think of particular situations off the top of my head, but knowing what I want out of a relationship has been really helpful for me. I've also had to make it clear that I can make my own decisions. I don't take unsolicited advice well. Sometimes, I've had to remind people that they shouldn't push their own feelings about what is right or wrong on me and try to make me agree with them. Staying calm in a discussion rather than escalating an argument has also helped me resolve conflicts.

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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

Have you ever discussed a dating-related issue with someone? What helped and what didn't?

My friends- they are an amazing sounding board to help me explore dating concerns. Sometimes talking it over with them helps me work out how I am going to address a difficult conversation, but also can reinforce whether the person I am dating is good for me. Taking that step back to see how those that know me best see the relationship is so valuable, particularly if I have concerns! Smiley Happy 

And of course, open communication with the person I'm with! 

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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

How can we cope with dating-related concerns? Have you ever discussed a dating-related issue with someone? What helped and what didn't?

My thoughts are really just what we've touched upon already really Smiley LOL 
To keep the lanes of communication open, be kind to yourself, and remember that you're both human and therefore deserving of patience and understanding Heart
(also movie nights and pizza with friends is a cure all Smiley Tongue)




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We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart
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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

How can we cope with dating-related concerns? Have you ever discussed a dating-related issue with someone? What helped and what didn't?
I guess much the same way you deal with other concerns -- step away from the situation to take some time for self care + self discovery, and talk to someone you trust be it a friend, family, or a professional. And like I said before (and like everyone else), open communication with a potential partner.

I guess I have talked about dating-related issues both here and with my Mum. I've mentioned before, but I wasn't out to my Mum during my entire relationship, and I only told her about it (thus my sexuality as well) the day after I broke up. I often go to her with my problems and she could see how much the relationship negatively affected me, so I really wish I could have told her sooner so we could talk honestly and share my concerns. It's so refreshing to be open now, the other day she suggested I should go back on some dating apps and I said I wasn't quite ready yet and we had a discussion about some LGBT+ online dating concerns 😁. I'm glad I don't have to hide that secret anymore and that she's supportive of me, so next time I can go to her for help. 😊

It doesn't really help people mincing around the subject and keeping things from me. My friend recently told me my ex said something rude about me in front of her, but she didn't mention this to me until months after we broke up, and she said she didn't say anything to her then. I'd just prefer the people who know me to let me know if they think the relationship is negatively affecting my health (but, of course, relationships can come with 'rose-coloured glasses' that make everything seem okay, so I'm aware that these conversations aren't easy!).

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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

@Hozzles  Your mum sounds like a great support! Smiley Happy
I get what you mean about your frustration that your friend only told you this ages after the breakup. You could have been given the opportunity to work through the issue at the time.

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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

How can we cope with dating-related concerns? Have you ever discussed a dating-related issue with someone? What helped and what didn't?

I'll be honest, this one kinda stumps me. I've had a few concerns but managing them has been even more stressful. I internalise everything until I have major doubts about myself.. I don't really feel comfortable unloading onto friends. And my family would start to judge so it's hard to talk to them. Usually, I just try to talk to my partner about it rationally once I can no longer handle keeping it to myself and I think that maybe we can work trough things together.. but I get too emotional and then they get emotional. And once they become emotional and completely unresponsive, I have to comfort them and so I'm left feeling unsupported and guilty for making them upset..

 

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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

@Hozzles it's really hard striking that balance isn't it? Smiley Sad 
I try to be honest with my friends if i think the person they're dating isn't being good to them, but at the same time i'm wary of pushing too far. I never want my friends to feel like i'll judge them or say 'i told you so'. But it's really difficult sometimes to know where the line is! 

 

@Ladybug that sounds like such a frustrating cycle, where you end up comforting other people rather than receving support yourself Smiley Sad 




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We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart
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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

I think it's about time that we wrap up for the evening! But everyone's more than welcome to keep discussing Smiley Very Happy If you weren't able to make it tonight we'd love to hear your opinions too tomorrow! Heart

tired good night GIF by Disney
I just wanted to thank @Milkninja222 @Jess1-RO @xXLexi_Lou122Xx @Ladybug @WheresMySquishy @roseisnotaplant @Hozzles @MisoBear for jumping in one the discussion tonight! (sorry again if i've missed anyone Smiley LOL) it was amazing hearing all of your opinions and insights! Smiley Very Happy Heart




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We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart
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Re: GR Dating Anxiety: 20th January AEDT

Thank you so much everyone! It was such a great discussion. Smiley Happy