[GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

[ecla34]

@Bee '"we're all the expert on ourselves" is putting it perfectly!

@MisoBear i've always had at least one person, which has been so so helpful, and things are a lot better nowadays which is a relief honestly i'm a lot more resilient now too which helps  

It's a balancing act between empathy and sticking up for yourself sometimes, isn't it? I've never been sure of how to walk that line. 
How about everyone else?

[Bee]

4. Empathising with others is a great way to help them, but how do we know if we are over-empathising and crossing our own emotional boundaries?

[ecla34]

I gotta jet off for the night, but I hope everyone enjoys the rest of the GR!
Looking forward to reading the rest of everyone's responses tomorrow! 

[scared01]

great seeing you @ecla34

[MisoBear]

4. Empathising with others is a great way to help them, but how do we know if we are over-empathising and crossing our own emotional boundaries?

It's honestly sometimes really hard to know. I often feel like a burn myself out doing this. Maybe if I feel myself feeling really physically drained from being in social situations. Anyone else got any ideas?

[WheresMySquishy]

Empathising with others is a great way to help them, but how do we know if we are over-empathising and crossing our own emotional boundaries?

I try to ask myself, 'Would I be able to sleep at night without worrying about this person's situation?' We have to take care of ourselves and not get too caught up in someone's problem ourselves. I have to ask myself whether I am making their problem my problem. If I have a lot of things on my plate, it's harder for me to empathise with another person, so I try to make sure that my needs are met or that I do some self care first if the other person's problem is not urgent. Sometimes, it can be helpful to recognise signs of burnout, such as physical symptoms.

[scared01]

@queenP im kinda the same. i find i get worn out being in social settings or even just talking to other people if im emotionally burnt out.

sometimes i get abit more intolerant, i dont mean to but sometimes i just dont want to hear everyones problems. i realise that sounds awful but thats usually when i know ive burnt out and need to just take time for myself more then usual

[Bee]

4. Empathising with others is a great way to help them, but how do we know if we are over-empathising and crossing our own emotional boundaries?

Ideally -  knowing where our emotional boundaries are, and knowing how we react when we are getting close or have crossed them.

Realistically this may not be possible, it can be tricky to know when you've done enough empathising and need to look after oneself, and this is where we can cross our own emotional boundary... We might be so engrossed in empathising and helping someone else that we miss or ignore our own ques and we cross a line which later might leave us feeling drained and vulnerable. In this instance, I believe that acknowledging this (be it to ourselves or someone else if we need) and then working on some self-care can help us recover and feel okay again.

For me when I'm empathising with someone I tend to keep tabs on how I'm feeling emotionally. And if I start to feel overwhelmed or stuck in the emotion I take a step back, and evaluate what is best for me and how I can support both myself and the person I'm empathising with. Sometimes it means apologising to the person and letting them know that I've reached my limit and also needing support myself, and letting them know that I still care for them. And sometimes it means sharing what is going on and allowing each other to empathise with each other, so that it's a duel channel empathising space.

And of course after the conversation/interaction has finished I like to engage in self-care. For me practicing self-care after empathising with someone - no matter how big or small, helps me remember that I am worth looking after too

[Bee]

@MisoBear it can be a hard one to identify for sure.
I like what @WheresMyShquishy said about asking yourself 'Would I be able to sleep at night without worrying about this person's situation?' That is a good way to gauge whether you are up to empathising with someone

[MisoBear]

Alright team, are we ready for another thought-provoking question?

Showing empathy towards other people can sometimes leave us feeling drained. What's something you do recharge your "empathy battery"?