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Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

Remember a time when someone was empathetic towards you. How did it make you feel? Was it helpful?

 

The most intense experience of empathy I have ever had was when I came out. My sister's first response was the most empathetic statement I could think of in that situation - "Thank you for sharing that with me." 

 

In these simple words, she acknowledged how difficult the experience of coming out would have been for me, even though she didn't personally know my struggle. She thought of things from my perspective, and was sensitive to my feelings. Rather than putting the emphasis on her by saying something like "I already knew that!" or "OMG are you?", she really thought about what I would want to hear. This helped me feel more connected to her, to feel confident coming out to others, and to feel proud of my identity.

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

@queenP that's a really good point! You don't have to agree with someone to see where they're coming from and respecting different perspectives and opinions is important!

I think that this is why often well-meaning actions don't always land the way you want them to, because you didn't consider what the person actually needs or ask them. You just gave them what you would want in that situation or what you think they should want. 




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We're having a SLOW-MO Getting Real chat to do with Generational Differences, starting on Monday the 11th of November! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

Sometimes we can find it hard to feel empathetic towards other people and their situations. Share a tip on how you "put yourself into another person's shoes".

I have moved from a rural country town to a metropolitan area, and am often dealing with people who are a lot more privileged than myself. As such, I sometimes get angry when they take their opportunities for granted, because they have a lot more than I had access to, particularly in terms of their education.

 

I try to show empathy in these situations because it is not fair to judge someone according to information they do not know. It is not their fault that I had less educational opportunities than them, and they also may not be aware of the fact that they are so privileged. As such, I try to think of their intention when they are speaking - it likely isn't to make me feel less, because that is rarely anyone's motivation. When I share my experience with them (because I think this is still important), I make sure that I do not apportion blame towards them, and I try to ensure that I validate their experience. Even though some individuals have more than others, this does not mean that they are immune to pain and adversity. 

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

Sometimes we can find it hard to feel empathetic towards other people and their situations. Share a tip on how you "put yourself into another person's shoes".

I like to believe that people generally act with good intentions, even if their actions are still wrong or have negative consequences. I try to think of other reasons for their behaviour, such as situational factors. Some attributions can be kinder to the other person than others. Maybe you can also try relating their experience to similar events in your life.

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

Haha, silly doggo with shoes on! Thoroughly enjoying the GIFs. 

 

Sometimes we can find it hard to feel empathetic towards other people and their situations. Share a tip on how you "put yourself into another person's shoes".

 

Honestly? This can be really tough sometimes, especially if the person who needs your empathy is not being particularly empathetic themselves. I guess I just try and take a breath before I speak, because words are powerful. When I'm taking that breath I ask myself "Is there maybe something going on for this person that I don't know about that might be affecting how they're acting right now?" "Am I really hearing what this person is saying?" "Do I even need to say anything at all?".

 

If it's someone close to me I often ask if I can give them a hug or what they would like from me right now. It gives them the opportunity to tell me what they would like from me, rather than just assuming what I think they want. 

 

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“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

@queenP that is an excellent point! I love how you worded this bit "trying to understand how they have developed certain ideas and beliefs, even if they don't align with your own, and trying to be sensitive to their experiences and ways of thinking."

I agree that you don't have to agree with someone to empathise with them. Your example with your friend is perfect too! Heart

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

Sometimes we can find it hard to feel empathetic towards other people and their situations. Share a tip on how you "put yourself into another person's shoes

 

This reminds me of how i've handled really difficult interpersonal problems at work. My work environment can be really divided and honestly toxic at times, and though I try to stay out of it, being treated poorly by co-workers takes a massive toll on you. Being empathetic, and stopping to remind myself of why they're acting that way, even if what they're doing is unacceptable, was actually really protective for my mental well-being. I try to keep in mind that my coworkers have stuff going on and that they're venting their own frustrations on other people. 
My approach in these kinds of situations is: kill them with kindness essentially

 




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We're having a SLOW-MO Getting Real chat to do with Generational Differences, starting on Monday the 11th of November! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

Sometimes we can find it hard to feel empathetic towards other people and their situations. Share a tip on how you "put yourself into another person's shoes".

for me i try not to judge by the way people act esp if they are strangers. i never know what goes on behind closed doors and they might just be having an awful day which is reflecting in their attitudes on the day etc.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

3. Sometimes we can find it hard to feel empathetic towards other people and their situations. Share a tip on how you "put yourself into another person's shoes"

For me, I try to think about how I would feel if it was me in the situation and act according to what I would want.

Sometimes though this doesn't work or it doesn't feel right, in those situations I let the person know I'm here for them and want to help them but unsure what they need/want, and ask for guidance. I've found that sometimes all they want is a listening ear to get it off their chest, and other times they want some advice/feedback. So I guess when doubt, check in with the person who you are empathising with, after all we're all the expert on ourselves Smiley Happy


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: [GR] - Empathy! - 29 July

That sounds like a really tricky situation @ecla34. Do you have one person at work who you have a positive relationship with? Sometimes being constantly bombarded with people who are oblivious to the feelings of others can wear us down a lot. I totally agree with both your and @scared01's strategy of trying not to judge people too much, and taking the time to think about why they're acting that way.

 

While it's never okay to accept being treated badly, and we should stick up for ourselves when it is safe to do so, sometimes we can avoid a lot of heartache if we approach conflicts with kindness.

 

Image result for empathy gif

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down