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Re: Let's break up

What are some negative coping strategies and how can we avoid them?

 

I think spending too long dwelling on the relationship/person/breakup can be counter-productive. Like sticking your tongue into a sore spot in your mouth.

 

I read this great thing the other day that talked about 'finding flow'. The suggestion was, when feeling low, to do something that when finished you say, "wow, where did the time go?" Something that lifts you out of your thoughts and gets you thinking only about the thing you are doing. I find stuff like that helpful, particularly during a break up. 

Re: Let's break up

@Soph and everyone, Facebook! Omg, modern-world dilemmas and so true! It is so frustrating having to 'maintain' an online identity with everyone suddenely knowing and wanting to talk about your break-up. Not everyone is going to be ready to talk about a break-up straight away. Also, seeing your ex on facebook talking with other people, jealousy etc. especially with mutual friends etc. - very difficult. Almost hard to imagine how this all happened pre-social media.

Re: Let's break up

@NigioC What you said, about "going with the flow" reminded me of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Waterbenders always go with the flow, use offense against defence. That is definitely a good way of coping.

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Re: Let's break up

Okay guys and girls, some great input everyone! Next question:

 

6. Which people were the most helpful to turn to after a break-up? Did you see close friends or professionals like a psychologist or counsellor?

Re: Let's break up

hey nigio! great point! Now i just have to find some of those "where did the time go" activities and have them up my sleeve for when i need them!!

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Re: Let's break up

6. Which people were the most helpful to turn to after a break-up? Did you see close friends or professionals like a psychologist or counsellor?


I did mention it to a friend but I never really turned to anyone. 

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Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

Re: Let's break up

Which people were the most helpful to turn to after a break-up? Did you see close friends or professionals like a psychologist or counsellor?

 

From my experience I can remember keeping to myself. I relied on friends and family when I needed them, but I think I almost tried too hard to pull myself out of bad break-ups on my own.It was like I was proving a point to myself more than anything. (Maybe a negative way of coping even).

 

I think that professionals or counsellors can also be great because they provide an outside perspective - sometimes without the bias and 'emotional stuff' that our friends and family bring to the table when helping us through these situations.

Re: Let's break up

@N1ghtW1ng did you find that talking to a friend was helpful?

Re: Let's break up

@bethechange it was. I just told her what was bothering me and she just nodded, in an understanding way. I always feel better after talking to someone. 

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Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

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Re: Let's break up

@LeaLea07 I think you're right, I know I felt a strong sense of pride that I could get myself out of this - especially when I did not have much experience with break-ups. Councellors and psychologists can offer that objective outside perspective that can sometimes be so difficult to see when you're bogged down with emotions.