Let's break up

[bethechange]

@N1ghtW1ng, so true - sometimes all we need is an open ear to vent and a little empathy. Talking to friends helped me a lot too.

[Sophie-RO]

yea, i think alot of us can relate to the 'i can deal with this on my own' pride thing... it can be unheathly and even dangerous. the strongest thing anyone can do is ask for help!

[LeaLea07]

Considering many of you have mentioned turning to a friend or family member, how have you helped someone else through a break up?  

How have you personally grown from your break-up experiences?

[N1ghtW1ng]

how have you helped someone else through a break up?  

I haven't had the chance to help someone with their break-up. Although my aunt did talk to me about her ex-husband. She told me, "It was young love, but I've grown up now and realised he was wrong for me" (something along those lines). I sat next to her and just nodded, being positive. 

How have you personally grown from your break-up experiences? 

I try not to let things bother me relationship wise because I know from my own experiences and watching others that relationships can be messy. 

[bethechange]

Considering many of you have mentioned turning to a friend or family member, how have you helped someone else through a break up?  

I would be an open ear and let them vent - but I'd also try and keep an eye on them to make sure they were trying to help themself. I'd also link them to some of these amazing factsheets!

http://au.reachout.com/Coping-with-a-break-up#tips

http://au.reachout.com/Factsheets/W/What-is-coping

http://au.reachout.com/Factsheets/B/Building-better-coping-skills

How have you personally grown from your break-up experiences?

I would genuinely go as far as to say that my break-ups (one in-particular) sculpted me into the strong young adult I am today. It seems ironic that something that makes us feel so horrible can actually be rewarding for us also. I have definitely grown from this experience as it taught me to  persevere with the other things that were going on in my life ie. work and uni. while

simultaneously feeling strong emotions.

[bethechange]

Considering many of you have mentioned turning to a friend or family member, how have you helped someone else through a break up?  

I would be an open ear and let them vent - but I'd also try and keep an eye on them to make sure they were trying to help themself. I'd also link them to some of these amazing factsheets!

http://au.reachout.com/Coping-with-a-break-up#tips

http://au.reachout.com/Factsheets/W/What-is-coping

http://au.reachout.com/Factsheets/B/Building-better-coping-skills

How have you personally grown from your break-up experiences?

I would genuinely go as far as to say that my break-ups (one in-particular) sculpted me into the strong young adult I am today. It seems ironic that something that makes us feel so horrible can actually be rewarding for us also. I have definitely grown from this experience as it taught me to  persevere with the other things that were going on in my life ie. work and uni. while

simultaneously feeling strong emotions.

[LeaLea07]

@N1ghtw1ng you highlight a really important thing - to LISTEN. Thats one of the best things we can offer others I believe, sometimes we have little to say or little advice to give. But people seem to appreciate it when someone is there to just listen to them, the attention is on their feelings and thoughts.

[Sophie-RO]

oooh.. well i have helped lots through breakups - and a family member right at the moment! the best thing i can recommend is being a good listener and being there... trying to gently GENTLY reflect back to them in a nonjudgemental way if they are using unhealthy coping mechanisms that are harming them. And knowing *which* unhealthy coping mechanisms are not worth having a discussion about coz empathetically we have to know when an unhealthy coping mechanism is *still* a coping mechanism and might get them through without too much harm... its a fine line but so long as you approach it without judgement you'll usually be ok

[LeaLea07]

Does any one have any highlights from our topic tonight? A favourite discussion point that was helpful?

[Sophie-RO]

i liked that communication was reaffirmed to me as all too important in relationships and at teh end of them!

[bethechange]

Does any one have any highlights from our topic tonight? A favourite discussion point that was helpful?

I'd like to highlight that break-ups, although they feel so personal (and they are), they are something so many of us experience and that talking to others about how we're feeling is super important. And keep on keeping on! Life goes on, and it always gets better