Re: Let's break up
Well guys and girls we are looking at wrapping up so here is a summary of our discussion on
Lets break up
Ab ig thankyou for all your personal experiences, suggestions and input on this topic. We hope you found it useful and enjoyed your time on reach out tonight as much as we did
- 1. Have you ever been in a relationship that ended in a break-up?
- The older and more committed – the harder our break ups seem to be.
- Close friendships and romantic are both kinds of relationships have ended. Some of us felt that friendship break-ups were the hardest kind of relationship to deal with ending.
- Not all breakups end badly – some are peaceful due to the qualities we as people bring to the break-up situation.
- Distance and age were points highlighted contributing to a break up.
- Communication is the key to relationships and breakups.
- 2. How did the break-up make you feel? What kinds of emotions did you experience?
- Self doubt
- Feeling lost
- Some of us experience an element of self blame in break up situations
- Different stages of the break up or type of break up seem to vary our emotional responses
- A positive take on the emotional rollercoaster: How we feel throughout or after a break up helps us learn and grow
- Some really great points on friendship breakups were made – if you are experiencing issues with a friendship breakdown/growing apart etc you should check out the earlier pages of of the GR session this week.
- 3. Was the break-up mutual or one way, do you think this changed how you felt?
- Mutual decisions are easier in some instances because you feel like something is not being forced upon you.
- Instigating or receiving a break-up equally hurts in some circumstances.
- Sometimes our feelings and thoughts about a person can be in conflict. So what feels good may not necessarily be good for us.
- 4. What are some positive coping strategies to help mitigate unpleasant feelings?
- Reach out has a great fact sheet for this… feel free to check it out>>>>> http://au.reachout.com/Coping-with-a-break-up
- Giving yourself time to heal is important.
- Remembering that although we loose people/relationships there are opportunities to form new/different relationships.
- Looking after yourself is important – eat healthy, exercise and get plenty of sleep.
- Spending time with family and friends.
- Alternative coping skills can be also read here on how to better deal with a break up. http://au.reachout.com/Factsheets/B/Building-better-coping-skills
- 5. What are some negative coping strategies and how can we avoid them?
- Self-medicating with different substances.
- Dwelling on the negative aspects of the relationship and break-up itself can draw the entire process out. Try to focus on different positive aspects in your life.
- Blaming and harming yourself. Reminding yourself you are not alone and people have been through a similar experience can help avoid this negativity.
- Being mindful when using social media – seeing things we aren’t ready to see, posting unnecessary comments etc. Maybe talking to someone close to you is better than the big wide web living a break-up with you.
- It is important to remember our short term decisions may not provide us with the best long term outcomes when getting over a break-up.
- 6. Which people were the most helpful to turn to after a break-up? Did you see close friends or professionals like a psychologist or counsellor?
- Dealing with it alone
- Turning to close friends or certain family members.
- Professionals or counsellors are good sources to turn to as they do not bring a bias or emotional component to the table while we are going through a break up. Objective and outside perspectives are helpful when we are bogged down with the emotions of a break-up.
- Talking to someone in general to offload your thoughts, feelings or to generally vent can be a weight off our shoulders. It allows a form of release.
- 7. How have you helped someone else through a break up? How have you personally grown from your break-up experiences?
- Listening to other people is a helpful way to help someone else through a break up, especially when we have little to say or struggle to provide advice.
- Sometimes a horrible experience such as a break up can be really rewarding in sculpting us in to better people.
- Break ups can teach us perseverance in other areas of life.
- Some great fact sheets are also available on this.
Things to check out:
Stressed about the bushfires? Have a look here for ways to cope
Join in this week's wellbeing activity: Meeting new people!
This week we spoke about handling friendship drama. View the discussion here
Seen something fantastic on the forums?