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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

@featuringme ah that reminds me of me, too! I remember in primary school I spent a lot of energy 'proving' that I was not a quiet person, but somewhere along the lines I guess I just accepted it, and that there's nothing wrong with it. Smiley Tongue

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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

I agree that self-compassion can be really helpful @Lost_Space_Explorer5! I think we can be our own biggest critic. I sometimes try to think about what I would say to a friend who is going through the same thing, because we can be a lot more kinder to other people.

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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

Yeah I agree @Lost_Space_Explorer5! I also liked what you mentioned about accepting and moving past our mistakes, an important part of self-acceptance is realising our worth despite our flaws. We're all human and nobody is perfect, however we can learn, grow and improve and I think that's so cool!

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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

We're tackling some challenging questions here-this one has 3 parts! Smiley Happy (LEVEL 5)

 

What kinds of things can make us feel good about ourselves? What can make us feel bad about ourselves? How can we feel better after experiencing situations that bring us down?

 

 

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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

What kinds of things can make us feel good about ourselves? What can make us feel bad about ourselves? How can we feel better after experiencing situations that bring us down?
I believe that a lot of things aren't necessarily good or bad, but the way we think about them can affect our sense of self for the better or worse. For example, you get a bad mark on a test. You can think something like, 'I'm such a failure. I'll never be good at that subject' and that can make you feel bad about yourself. But another person might attribute the result to the test being hard and that might make them feel a bit better about not getting the result they wanted. I've heard a lot of things about locus of control and growth versus fixed mindsets. Sometimes, changing the way you think about a situation, finding positives or reframing it can make you feel better about yourself. I also think that talking about a bad situation with someone you trust, writing down how you feel, practicing gratitude and self-care can make you feel better about yourself when something goes wrong. Something that has personally helped me is not thinking of my emotions as being bad or something to avoid. Emotions can be helpful and temporary. I've done some meditations where they actually ask you to acknowledge the negative feeling. I've heard the phrase that we are not our emotions, but rather the watcher of our emotions.

I also think that there can be a lot of pressure from outside sources, such as our family, friends, school, work, community etc. to act a certain way. People can get punished socially if they aren't like other people. Something that has helped me is learning about different cultures. In one culture, something that I do might be considered wrong, while in another culture, it is seen as something to be proud of. So, I try not to think of certain actions as always wrong or always good. Context and the whole person really matters. Maybe you did something wrong, but that doesn't discredit your strengths. Bad situations don't necessarily last forever either. I don't think we ever stop learning how to be resilient.

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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

@WheresMySquishy I really like the idea about writing what you are in control in, I find that helps me a lot too! To me self-acceptance is just being okay with who you are and not trying to change who you are to fit in with everyone/everything else around you, just feeling at peace. I would say one thing I'm trying to improve is my tendency to daydream a lot in inconvenient moments and I know it sounds like such a small trivial thing but it was something that began to interfere with my life when I was in exams/tests, doing work, driving, but lately I've been trying to work through and notice what activities make me daydream more and when the people/activities I'm doing where I don't daydream at all. Something else is my tendency to get obsessed with finishing something I started or having to do things a certain way, I'm trying to reframe this and let myself know it's okay not to finish something or do something a different way if it's going to do more harm than good.

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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

People validating our experiences and understanding us can make us feel better about ourselves. Mastering a skill, etc. or achieving a goal can also boost our self-esteem. Helping others can also give us a boost, I guess cause we feel needed

re: feeling bad about ourselves- a lot of things can bring us down. Being excluded or treated unfairly or even badly can make us feel pretty crappy. Making a mistake can also challenge how we see ourselves, as well as failing at something that is important to us.

How can we feel better? Reminding ourselves of who we are and that what others say, failure, etc. does not define us, talking to supports, engaging in something we like, staying in the present
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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

@celestialdreamer  I also daydream a lot. I find that it helps me deal with my negative emotions, but it used to interfere with my concentration at school. My daydreams tended to revolve around stories I wanted to write, so I would turn them into something creative.

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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

What kinds of things can make us feel good about ourselves?

For me, I feel good after practicing some self-care tricks. Exercising, taking hot showers, all these kind of things help me remember that I am a person worthy of care. Looking at people who are similar to me and embracing their identities also makes me feel proud of my own identity. For example, whenever I go on Instagram and I see a picture of a Muslim person smiling or doing something fun, I feel like I can embrace my Muslim identity!

 

What can make us feel bad about ourselves?

There are a lot of things, but first thing that comes to my mind is social media!!! Platforms such as Instagram and Facebook allow people to promote the best version of their life and omit any negative experiences, so people can easily feel as though their life is inferior. The Internet can also be used to promote harmful messages and invalidate people's identities. Apart from social media, who we surround ourselves with also has a significant impact on how we view ourselves.

 

How can we feel better after experiencing situations that bring us down?

If we encounter a negative situation, we can take a break or step away from the situation and practice some self-care! Talk to people you trust, indulge in some yummy treats, do whatever you please!

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Re: Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  Empathy and validation can be such a powerful thing. I also think that setting and achieving goals can help with anxiety and let us feel a sense of fulfillment.
It's strange because I don't feel much fulfillment through being a carer, but I love helping others outside of my family. It brings a smile to my face when someone tells me how much I mean to them, and how I've helped them.

I also agree that staying in the present can really help! Worrying tends to be future-orientated. I also have a tendency to dwell on the past and ruminate about events and people. I know it's not really productive or helpful, but it's hard to stop doing it. I feel a lot better when I'm doing my hobbies.