[SLOW-MO CHAT] Beauty Standards

[ecla34]

These are such good questions! We spend so much time and effort forcing ourselves to meet beauty standards and it's so important to figure out why!
2. Why do you think we hold these beauty standards?
I think we're taught to equate our appearances with our sense of self worth, and we try to meet beauty standards (in part) so that people will value us. It sucks, because society has an awful way of punishing people who don't meet these super unrealistic standards. 

[Bee]

@ecla34 I agree with your response to Q2. Trying to meet these standards (which can sometimes be unrealistic) can be so hard (and sometimes impossible) and it can deffinately have an impact on our self wort

Time for today's question ☺

 3. How can beauty standards negatively impact society? Do they impact people the same or differently? 

[gina-RO]

I am loving this GR, and everyone's inputs!!

For today's question: How can beauty standards negatively impact society? Do they impact people the same or differently? 

I guess I can only speak from my own observations and experience, but I see mainstream beauty standards having a massive negative impact on society generally...  although those running the beauty industry and the diet industry are hugely benefiting by profiting off the insecurities  they encourage in everyone else...
Beauty standards exclude many many people, and people who are the least "beautiful" by those restricting standards, are the ones who will be the most negatively impacted..  so people who are not young, thin, able-bodied, clear -skinned etc, will have the hardest time. They are the least represented in the media, and the most judged by society. Having said that, I think we all are negativley impacted in some way or another, as none of us are perfect, but all feel like we should be. 
Wasting money (so much money!) and time on beauty products, diets etc is just one way we are negatively impacted. 

There is a fantastic documentary called Embrace that I recommend for people to watch - it unpacks these harmful expectations and pressures, and looks at a way to fully accept the bodies we've each been given.  

For me, accepting myself exactly as I am has been a long journey, and will continue to be! 

 When we acknowledge that our poor self-esteem is not our fault, but the fault of a society that forces us to always look at our flaws, it becomes easier to move towards self -acceptance, and self-love. 

In a world that encourages self-hate, and continuous self-improvement, self-love is a revolutionary act. 

[dog_lover94]

I completely agree @gina-RO.

The media tends to only portray the 'perfect' people rather than including everyone. This negatively impacts those who are not represented who strive to be more like those 'perfect people'. Everyone is perfect and beautiful in their own way!!!

[annabethxchase]

I think @dog_lover94 @gina-RO have both covered question 3 completely! Such great answers!

[lokifish]

I agree - such insightful answers!!

I think the irony of the situation is that it's only through accepting our bodies as they are that we can begin to change them. Changing your diet because you hate your body isn't going to lead to healthy outcomes - you'll still feel negatively about your body no matter how much you weigh. Changing your diet because you love your body and want to nourish it, on the other hand, is likely to work out much better over the long term. Of course, happiness doesn't sell as well as anxiety does, so marketing companies continue to prey on our insecurities.

I also love your point about culture @annabethxchase! For example, in Western cultures having the perfect tan is considered beautiful (so fake tan is our go-to) whereas in countries such as India, having pale skin is ideal (so skin bleaching creams are the norm 😕) It shows that all the rules about beauty are bullshit and are purely a social construct, rather than any sort of universal law

[Bee]

Awesome answer @gina-RO @lokifish

Since this is soo late (sorry guys!) I'm going to post today and tomorrow's questions
4. Are comparisons bad and what can we do to help prevent upwards comparison? (i.e thinking someone is prettier or better than oneself)
5. How can we promote positive thoughts surrounding body image?

@Esperanza67 @annabethxchase @litgym @Asche @scared01 @dog_lover94 @ecla34 @lokifish @gina-RO

[annabethxchase]

Haha All good @Bee <3333

4. Are comparisons bad and what can we do to help prevent upwards comparison? (i.e thinking someone is prettier or better than oneself)

I really hate when people compare themselves to someone else, you really can't compare 2 people - we all have different and unique personalities! It's like comparing an orange and a baseball bat (completely random) When  we compare, we are often finding faults in ourselves or someone else.

I think the first step to prevent this is to accept. We need to learn to accept ourselves for who we are and not worry about what others look like or what they may think of us. For a lot of people this is really tough! Accepting yourself is tricky because you are you worst critic and you hold the strongest opinion about yourself. (Did that make any sense?)

5. How can we promote positive thoughts surrounding body image?

In this day and age (I sound old) there are a ton of great adverts about body image and some good campaigns to which I think is slowly changing the 'stigma' around body image. Modelling people (What are they called? Agents, companies?) are hiring people that aren't the stereotypical looking models. I think (I have said 'I think' so many times!) this is great because it is breaking the 'normal' and replacing it with something different but still completely fine (Words are not my friend I'm so sorry if this makes 0 sense, it's coming from the heart!) 

[gina-RO]

@annabethxchase I love those answers! It's so true that everyone is so unique  that there really is no point in comparing!! I completely agree that acceptance is the key to this stuff - which can be a daily, sometimes hourly, active choice we have to make. It's not easy, or quick , but it gets easier the more we practice self-acceptance and self-love.  

[gina-RO]

5. How can we promote positive thoughts surrounding body image? 

I agree with you @annabethxchase that there's lots of great stuff happening out there in the world of body-positivity!  It's powerful seeing different body types in a positive light! 

If you have instragram, I recommend unfollowing every single account that ever makes you feel bad about who are.

Instead follow leaders in the body-positive movement - follow people who look like you, follow people who don't look like you. 

If you want some suggestions here are a few: 

effyourbeautystandards

TuriaPutt
bodyposipanda

scarrednotscared
selfloveclubb

Watching that doco I shared yesterday - Embrace - is a good way to challenge negative beliefs about bodies. 

A way to promote positive thoughts is to intentionally think them! Stick positive statements on your mirror - like Every body is unique and beautiful and so is mine!  or All the things I see as imperfections are just part of who I am! 

One of my favorite things to think about in regards to bodies, is how much we love and respect trees as they age - the lines, marks, and blemishes on their thickening trunk are all a part of their history, and things that we admire. Yet when it comes to our own marks and changes- wrinkles, stretch marks, scars, acne - we hide them and feel ashamed- why? Just like a tree we are a natural, changing and growing life form.

All the marks and changing parts of our body are a part of our story