[SLOW-MO CHAT] Beauty Standards

[annabethxchase]

@gina-RO, You just put everything I was trying (and failing) to say into one spectacular post! Lovee the idea of sticky notes to remind ourselves that we are beautiful just the way we are.

[lokifish]

@gina-RO I love how you mention that acceptance is a choice that we actively make! Sometimes with depression there's helplessness of "I'm always going to feel this way; I couldn't change even if I wanted to" when it's so not true. While we can't control most things, we do have agency over what we think - nobody can take your thoughts away from you

I also think (and this is just me) some of the body positivity stuff is a bit stupid. For example, happy people don't stand in front of the mirror and tell themselves they're happy. Part of me feels like the answer is to just move away from focusing on our bodies completely? Remind yourself that you're smart, creative, compassionate etc. not that you're beautiful. Maybe I'm being a bit unrealistic there, though - people are always going to focus on external beauty (as opposed to internal qualities) to some degree, so better to encourage them to take a positive view of it

[gina-RO]

@lokifish totally see what you're saying. 
I think focusing on things in your life other than your body is really important. And sometimes the language of "love your body" is too much. I feel the word accept is more appropriate for a lot of us. 

I guess I see body positivity as being more about changing the way you think about your body  - reframing the body's purpose. 

The shift for me has been from seeing my body as something for people to look at, and a way for people to judge who I am - to instead being something that is a vessel for all of the living I want to do. 

Eg. Exercise becomes about stress-relief, and fun, rather than to change how my body looks. 

More ideas: 

-Thanking your body for everything it has done each day is a good practice.

-If you have a negative thought about your body - try to remind yourself of a positive thing about that same body part. For example if you have a harsh thought about your legs, you can say - but they got me to the places I needed to be today . Or in response to a negative thought about your face - you can can say, my face is how the people that love me recognise me and communicate with me.  Whatever sits right with you. 

(can you tell this is one of my favourite topics???) 

[lokifish]

@gina-RO that makes sense I hope I didn't come across as dissing the movement because it's super important, but the depressed/cynical part of me automatically dismisses anything that looks like it's coming from behind rose-coloured glasses

So I think "body acceptance" rather than "body positivity" sits better with me (for a lot of people they're probably the same thing, but I think there's important nuance in there)

I really like those ideas though! I already try and do the same thing with my emotions (though I'm not very good at it ) where I'll acknowledge the functional/adaptive/positive role they play. Instead of being frustrated that I'm anxious, I can say "but it helped keep me safe the time my neighbours house was on fire" Nothing is black and white, and therefore nothing about us is "bad"

[gina-RO]

@lokifish I completely get that - I can see how it's kinda similar to positive psychology stuff that can be really frustrating! 

If you're interested, check out some of those grams I mentioned before and see what you think - I'd be interested to hear your thoughts! 

I love that, and agree that "body acceptance" is an important nuanced difference from body positivity. 

[ecla34]

@gina-RO I really love the comparison between the way we think of people and the way we view trees, it's such a beautiful way of thinking about it. I also find re-framing the way i think about my body really useful too, it does everything for me and deserves the recognition  

[Bee]

Thanks for an awesome chat everyone! 

Sorry I dropped out for a bit with answering questions, I wasn't quite up to responding, but I really love everyone's answers! Especially @gina-RO who is very passionate about the topic and has lots of amazing and insightful info/perspectives for us all! 

Our final question is a bit of a summary:

What is one thing you've learnt from this week's chat that you can share with others?

@Esperanza67 @annabethxchase @litgym @Asche @scared01 @dog_lover94@ecla34 @lokifish @gina-RO