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Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

Very insightful responses everyone! Gives a broader perspective on how we each define being kind to ourselves Smiley Very Happy

What does being kind to ourselves mean?  Being kind to myself means treating yourself the way you want to be treated by others who are important to you. To me, this comes in the form of respect, honesty, compassion, and self-care.

Why is important? Because you can your own best friend or worst enemy. Being kind means that you can experience the more positive aspects and circumstances of life, whether that be having good mental health, being physically healthy and fit, being surrounded by supportive people, achieving academic and career prospects.

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself? This morning by waking up from a good sleep to recharge and eating filling breakfast (Cereal and a banana) haha Smiley Very Happy Might even go for a walk later.

  • Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)

From my experience, how we talk can impact. When I make mistakes and criticise myself more than another might, it affects my ability to work effectively which leads to more mistakes. It can be a vicious cycle on my wellbeing. What’s more, how we talk to ourselves can impact on relationships for the worse. For example, talking to ourselves in a self-defeating way can lead to internalising those feelings, thereby withdrawing and being anxious around ones you know.

These are circumstances I have found myself in during my lifetime.

 

Another question for everyone:

What skills do you think are needed to be kind to ourselves?

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

Hey everyone! Happy hump day! I hope this week has been going well so far but if not do not fear it’s all downhill from here 😊

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Big thank you to @Lost_Space_Explorer5 @for starting this SLOW MO GR 

Been loving everyone’s responses so far and personally it’s been making me think a lot more about what being kind to myself really involves and it’s impacts. 

I have a couple more questions to keep the convo going, so here they are:

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

 

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles

to being kinder to ourselves?

 

looking forward to hearing your answers everyone  @Milkninja222 @musicfan_xo @scared01 @A_Friend 

 

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Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

What does being kind to ourselves mean?
I think it means accepting ourselves, taking care of ourselves, and acknowledging that while we may not be perfect, we are trying our best and learning to be the best version of ourselves.

Why is it important?
I feel as though I have to take care of myself before I can take care of other people. Knowing myself also helps me make better decisions. When I am kind to myself, I have better physical and mental health.

 

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?
When I find myself slipping into self-criticism, I try to talk to my inner self like how a friend would talk to me.  I also list all the good things I have done recently and think about what I like about myself.

Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)?
I think so. I feel like when I am confident about myself and clear about my values, it helps make knowing what I want out of a relationship clearer. I also feel like being kind to myself helps me be more resilient in the face of setbacks, bad days at work or bad grades.

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

I would say the gift of perspective, being able to forgive ourselves, being able to change the types of attributions we make and being able to experience gratitude. I also think it is important to remember how we have overcome obstacles we have faced in the past. Knowing the kinds of self-care that you prefer, being willing to experiment with your wellbeing and being open to personal growth can also come in handy. I have a diary where I write what I did for self-care, how it made me feel and whether I would try it again.


How might we tackle resistance or obstacles
to being kinder to ourselves?
- I think it's helpful to have a support network or someone who can cheer you on, work on a challenge with you or be an 'accountability partner'.
- Scheduling in time just for ourselves. You could use a timer to take a study break, use a timetable or diary or set a reminder on your phone.
- Setting SMART goals and make a plan of what to do if we experience challenges or obstacles along the way.
- Possibly changing our expectations and how we measure success. Success is not about never failing or messing up. For some people, it could be as simple as getting out of bed and facing the day, even if we don't want to.
- Reframing negative thoughts in a more positive light.

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

Self-awareness; being aware of our thoughts and feelings, and perhaps our behaviours might help us identify when we might need to be kinder to ourselves

 

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

One way we can tackle obstacles to being kinder to ourselves is changing how we think

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

@musicfan_xo thank you so much for sharing! I love what you said - "self care isn't selfish in any way." 

 

I have loved reading everyone's responses to this question - its so interesting to hear peoples perspectives on what self kindness means to them 

 

1. What does being kind to ourselves mean?

For me its about self nurturing, making yourself a priority, taking the time to heal and grow, taking the time to do the things you love, saying kind things to yourself. 

 

2. Why is it important?

When we are kinder to ourselves we learn to be loving and accepting which I believe builds a lot of emotional resilience from negativity. It opens up opportunities to learn about ourselves and take the time heal from the negative things we can say about ourselves. 

 

3. Can you think of an example when you've been kind to yourself?

One of my favourite meditations to do lately is Loving-Kindness (or 'Metta') Meditations. At first I was a bit uncomfortable because I wasn't used to saying these kind affirmations to myself, but as I have practiced I have cultivated a lot more kindness towards myself. This meditation here is one I like if anyone wants to check it out. Also check out Kristin Neff - her meditations are truly amazing!

 

4. Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives? (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc?)

From personal experience - yes. I have always put an intense amount of pressure on myself to be 'perfect' and I would always put myself down. For about 2-3 years I really spiralled and it drastically affected my sleeping, eating, stress, study, relationships with family and friends. But now I am slowly healing and being kinder to myself - it has been a bit up and down sometimes and it has taken a lot of work but I'm getting there and I'm proud of my small progress Smiley Happy 

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

@Alexarose thanks for posting today questions

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

Communication, seeing the more positive side, and empathy

 

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

Spend time figuring out what they are, researching how to overcome them, making a plan and taking action on it

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

What skills do you think are needed to be kind to ourselves?

To try and be positive, self love/kindness (obviously), mental and physical strength, I'm not too sure, I struggle with being kind to myself.

 

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

As I mentioned, I struggle with being kind to myself. I guess just trying to tell yourself you can do whatever you set your mind do, and stuff like that.

 

@Milkninja222 @Lost_Space_Explorer5 @A_Friend @WinterCalvino @hunginc @WheresMySquishy @Kaylee-RO @featuringme @scared01 @Alexarose 

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

Hey guys! Welcome to the fourth day of the SLOW-MO GR! The responses to the questions so far have been a pleasure to read through, they're so insightful and thoughtful Smiley Happy

 

Here's today's question:

Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?

 

Looking forward to the responses for the next few questions! Wishing everyone a wonderful day Smiley Very HappyHeart

giphy

 

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves? How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

I think we should try to remember that different forms of self-care can work differently for everyone. For example, listening to relaxing music is often recommended as a form of self-care. However, I find that just listening to any song I enjoy will help with my wellbeing, whether if it is pop, rock or a bit more sombre. This is because I love to visualise things when I listen to music, so anything will suit me. Ultimately, we should be open-minded and willing to experiment with different forms of self-care. I think we should also be generous to ourselves. If you want to do lots of forms of self-care, that's great! We should allow ourselves those extra days off work, to have some alone-time, etc.

 

Having a supportive network of people beside you will help immensely with self-care. They can provide you positive affirmations and check on your wellbeing. If we're struggling with being kind to ourselves, we can also consider therapy. Therapists listen to you without judgement, and will guide you through your troubles. 

 

Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?

Last year, I had a final exam for uni. As a first-year, I had no idea what uni exams would be like, so it was quite stressful. It was also worth a lot, so it added extra stress to an already stressful situation. I think I can confidently say that I didn't handle it in the best way Smiley LOL. It was a 24 hour online exam, and I pretty much pulled an all-nighter to finish it. I didn't go outside for a walk, or to get some fresh air. If I could go back to that day, I would take more frequent breaks away from my computer, and go outside for some fresh air. I would also try not to pull an all-nighter. Tbh this one is quite challenging, because maintaining good grades can be a big priority, especially for people who need good grades for their course. However, I think we should be mindful that our wellbeing should always be prioritised, so we should aim to have a good night's rest before anything else. Finally, I would've been extra kind to myself the day after. For me, that would mean chilling at home, indulging in some tasty treats, listening to music and watching tv shows/youtube. That would've helped to reduce my stress from the previous day.

 

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

I like what everyone has said TBH. i think communication, seeing things from different perspectives, empathy, turning things into positives and also acceptance is important as well. i find that when ive done something wrong i can really struggle to accept it and make all sorts of excuses to give myself a hard time!
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**