SLOW-MO GR: Building Rapport with Professionals, 12th-18th August
A topic we see come up on the forums a lot, particularly recently, is the ups and downs of the relationship you have with your psychologist and other mental health professionals.
It's super common to be unsure before your first appointment and to ask yourself questions like:
How is the session going to go?
Am I going to like my psychologist?
Am I going to ending up paying for the privilege of spending 50 minutes in awkward silence (hopefully not! :P)
It's also really common not to click with the first professional you see, and you might want to figure out how to change psychologists, but not be sure how.
(If you're considering seeing a psychologist for the first time, there's lots of good info here to get you started)
To get a discussion going on this topic, we're hosting a SLOW-MO GR on the week running from the 12th-18th of August to chat about
Rapport with Professionals: How you know if a psychologist is right for you and how you can talk to your psych about building rapport/changing psychologists. We'd love you all to join in! 
😄
We'll be posting new questions every weekday and hope to get a really informative and helpful chat going! Looking forward to hearing about everyone's thoughts and perspectives!
If at any time you're feeling distressed or you feel like you need to talk to someone about an issue then you can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or use their webchat and email services. The links can be found here. If you are new here then welcome! Have a quick peek at our community guidelines you can find them here!
1. What qualities do you think a psychologist should have?
- Professional: they should be punctual and respectful of your time that you have with them. Should also uphold the same boundaries as any of health professional does or what you would expect.
- Kind and empathetic.
- Honest: I need someone to call me out and not just be like yeah everything is great.
2. Have you seen a psychologist before? If so, do you have any advice to those who are seeing a psychologist for the first time?
Yes. I might be terrifying but the outcome is so worth it. Sometimes you have to do a hard thing to get the most gain.
The first session if really just going over your life and how you are doing/what you are struggling with but it is also a chance for you to get an understanding of what the psychologist is like. You also will fill out a few forms as well.
You can also ask questions such as: what days and time do you work? (you want someone that you know has a schedule that will suit you long term if needed). What types of therapies do you practice with and what do they entail? (There are quite a few and a lot do a mixture of both). These are just a couple of examples but can be super helpful.
3. Do you have any advice on how to communicate with your psychologist/get your point across?
I usually just blurt it all out and hope for the best. I am been with the same psychologist for a while now, so she knows me pretty well and can pick up on what I am trying to say.
If you have specific things you want to touch on jot them down on a piece of paper so you don't forget them, as you want to use your time as best you can.
4. Have you ever switched psychologists? How did the process go for you?
No, lucky I haven't. I am nervous as heck thinking about the day that I might have to.
In a way, yes. I've seen a few different psychologists but I've never asked them for a referral to someone else. I saw a psychologist that wasn't a great fit for me and I sort of just dropped out of therapy because I moved interstate. When I moved interstate I immediately got a mental health plan sorted and started seeing my current psych, after carefully researching the kind of psychologist I would like to see. That research really helped me find someone I clicked with, but if we hadn't clicked I would have asked for an onward referral.
Thursday Time! 😄 xxx
Are there any barriers and/or difficulties in switching psychologists? If so, what are they?
Are there any barriers and/or difficulties in switching psychologists? If so, what are they?
- Having to work out how to get to the new psychologist (if they are not in the same building or close by)
- Having to take a history all over again
- Learning to trust the new psychologist, especially if your expectations have been shaped by the previous one
- Potentially, new styles of therapy or different approaches to treatment
- They may disagree with each other in terms of treatment and diagnosis
- Anxiety about what your previous one would think of you changing psychologists
- The sessions with the new psychologist may cost differently to the old one's sessions
Happy Friday everyone! 
Do you know the difference between all the health professionals you can see for support (e.g., psychologist, counsellor, psychiatrist, social worker, occupational therapist, etc.)? Why is it important that we should know the difference between these health professionals?
Hi everyone, I've been loving reading all the posts and hearing about people's different experiences with mental health workers...decided to jump on this moving train!
Do you know the difference between all the health professionals you can see for support (e.g., psychologist, counsellor, psychiatrist, social worker, occupational therapist, etc.)? Why is it important that we should know the difference between these health professionals?
I think that navigating and coordinating all the mental health support services out there can be really tricky. In my experience, a counsellor can be useful if, for example, you are going through a bit of a tough time at school or need some grief support, and with a little help you can be back on your feet again. A psychologist is useful in helping you with more long-term, distressing, mental health issues. If you're feeling like 'talk' therapy isn't working and you that may benefit from medication, you can coordinate your psychologist with your GP or see a psychiatrist.
This is just my understanding, but yes the whole system is very confusing!
I think the first point of call is always to start with your GP - they know you better as a patient and can also give you a mental health care plan so that you can access medicare rebated sessions.
Do you know the difference between all the health professionals you can see for support (e.g., psychologist, counsellor, psychiatrist, social worker, occupational therapist, etc.)? Why is it important that we should know the difference between these health professionals?
In my experience, counselling and social work tends to be more suited to people when there is a short-term issue or there needs to be case management. A psychologist usually has more experience and training in the diagnosis and treatment of long-term mental health and cognitive issues. Unlike all the others, psychiatrists can suggest and prescribe medication and might have a deeper understanding of the relation between physical and mental health and contributing biological factors.
Here is a helpful article explaining the differences between counsellors, psychiatrists and psychologists.
Occupational therapists can be helpful if there are issues in functioning at work, home or school and you need some aids or supports to improve your functioning.
I think it is helpful to know the difference between these professionals because some might be more suited to particular issues than others. You might also be in a situation where you need multiple perspectives and types of expertise.
Some really great responses so far!! I think another addition on knowing about different mental health professionals is firstly it can help you financially- seeing a specific kind of professional is often what is covered compared to another.
I also think it can be helpful in knowing what to expect, what your rights are and who to turn to if something is wrong. Certain titles often mean a certain level of required training/education and often change what code of ethics a profesional must follow.
Hopefully you won't need to use that information but sometimes it can help if you are questioning advice or your level of care to know what the professionals own guide lines expect.
I have been so impressed by this discussion, everyone has been so brave sharing their experiences, you are all so empathetic and knowledgeable!!!! I have really gained so much from all of your insights!!! Hearing stories and suggestions, the word cloud and the amazing questions that have been asked has been so incredible!!!!
Hmm... I think they provide different types/ levels of support?
Knowing the difference can be important because it helps you know who to get help from.
Like if you want to start medications, you'd want to find a psychiatrist, not an OT.
And if you need talk therapy you'd probably want to get a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist.
Great topic! Looking forward to this GR and everyone's insights! 
Hi everyone!
Here are some questions to kick off:
What qualities do you think a psychologist should have?
Have you seen a psychologist before? If so, do you have any advice to those who are seeing a psychologist for the first time?
I'm late to the party as usual, but no too late this time, yay!! 😄
What qualities do you think a psychologist should have?
I think there are some qualities that ought to be present across all psychologists, such as warmth, genuineness and empathy, but there are other qualities that might fit with certain people better than others. e.g. sense of humour varies among people, and some sense of humour resonates more with different people. I think age and gender can sometimes be qualities that impact the therapeutic relationship. For instance, I'm female and find that I click more and feel more comfortable with female psychologists.
Have you seen a psychologist before? If so, do you have any advice to those who are seeing a psychologist for the first time?
Yes, I've seen several, and I'm very lucky that I've had positive experiences the whole way through. The biggest piece of advice I would give is that if you feel you don't click with a certain psych, you don't have to go back. It can be difficult to assert that sometimes, but if they're not the right psych for you, then you won't be getting the most out of your sessions.
It's also important to be as honest as you can, because the psych can only help you if they have accurate information about what's going on for you.
Finally, good luck and remember that no matter what - you are worthy of help and you're doing a brave thing by seeking it! 🙂
'Am I going to ending up paying for the privilege of spending 50 minutes in awkward silence'
Unfortunately something I know all too well. 
What qualities do you think a psychologist should have?
Passion for the work, and a true passion to help others and understand people with mental illness as people, not simply a case study or something that needs to be fixed (I'm a psychology student and you won't believe the amount of people around me that still use dehumanising language when describing mental illness. I can only hope they're not going further in their education, or that they soon reflect on the damaging effect of their words/ attitudes!).
A psychologist should also be as nonjudgemental as possible and accepting of all people no matter beliefs, gender, religion, sexuality... etc. They should be able to think outside the box and be able to see the grey areas in life. For me personally, they shouldn't be afraid to be blunt and don't mince words, but I understand this approach isn't helpful for everyone (I know I couldn't do it, which is why I'm focusing on research psychology!).
Have you seen a psychologist before? If so, do you have any advice to those who are seeing a psychologist for the first time?
For most of my life, though I'm unsure how many have been actual psychologists (it's mostly been whoever was available at the time, unfortunately -- but that's a question for another day *hint, hint *! ).
Advice:
- Most psychologists are really friendly and accommodating, and most rooms aren't as clinical as you'd expect. There's usually a comfy couch but you don't have to lie down on it and talk about your problems like in the movies. . It really depends where you go. I love the places that have a few fidget toys lying around. At one point I was seeing a psychologist and talking about my life while playing with lego.
- A lot of the time your psychologist will give you extra materials so you can work through the things that are bothering you in your own time. DO THEM! 50 minutes every few weeks is great, but it's hardly enough for long-lasting change.
- Psychologists are real people, just like you. It's really frustrating but I feel most have their own mental health issues (which is what brings them into the field) and can have their off days as well. Be mindful and treat them with the same respect you'd treat any other health professional (or anyone else!).
- Be as truthful as possible. It's daunting but they really can't read your mind and can't help what they don't know.
- It's really hard to gather a complete image of a person in about 50 minutes every few weeks so it might help to have a plan of what you're going to talk about in advance before you go to your sessions, and let your psychologist know what you want to work on to avoid those awful silent moments.
What qualities do you think a psychologist should have?
- Being open to feedback
- Willing to listen to what the client has to say
- Respect for the client, including clients of different cultures, worldviews, experiences, sexuality, gender, etc.
- The ability to maintain trust with a client
- Empathy
- Keeping unsolicited advice to a minimum
- Don't talk too much about themselves
- Showing genuine interest in the client
- Not being afraid to refer a client on if another professional or service can provide better care
- Consistency (eg., having a plan for the treatment rather than trying random techniques hoping that something will work)
- Not pessimistic
- Do not push you into revealing information that you don't want to talk about.
- Respecting the client's right to confidentiality unless they or someone else are in imminent harm, the information is subpoenaed by a court, or the client says that they can share the information with others. They tell the client when they need to divulge information about them.
- Nonjudgmental
- Ability to recognise their own flaws and when a treatment isn't working
- Working within their area of expertise and not claiming to treat things that they have no experience or knowledge in
- Asking the client what the main issues are rather than getting fixated on random issues that aren't important
- Tolerance
- Tactful
- Don't go into long tangents where you can't get a word in for most of the session
Have you seen a psychologist before? If so, do you have any advice to those who are seeing a psychologist for the first time?
I have seen three psychologists. Some pieces of advice:
- The first session is likely just taking a history and may be longer and more expensive than the other sessions. They may introduce treatment concepts or suggest treatments but not actually start them. You may have to start off by signing consent forms and agreements.
- The psychologist may give you 'homework' to complete between sessions, especially if they are doing CBT.
- Don't be afraid to ask what their policies are.
- Don't be afraid to let them know if you feel a treatment is not working.
- Don't be afraid to disagree with them.
- Sometimes, it can be useful to write down or email information through rather than talking about it verbally.
- Let the psychologist know if you had difficulty completing the homework or implementing the treatment strategies. A good psychologist should be understanding of this as it still provides them with valuable information about the client and what works for them.
- If a practice has multiple psychologists, it may be possible to ask over the phone which psychologist would be best suited to addressing the main issues you want to work on.
- Ask the psychologist how you will know whether you are making progress. In my experience, the best ways to see this are to have a physical record or test because a psychologist's opinions can sometimes be biased or inaccurate.
- No psychologist has all the answers.
- The first person that you see may not necessarily be the right person for you.
@Hozzles that's a really good point! It can be really really hard to open up about what's going on, but by the same token there's no way for your psych to help you process and cope if they don't know what's going on!
I've heard people say they find writing things down beforehand helps with actually getting the words out, is this something you've ever tried? Or has anyone else? Would be keen to hear your experiences there! xx
@Anonymous ahhh i'm sorry most of your experiences have been negative, that's so awful 😞 That being said, i'm so blown away by how keeping an open mind is still so important to you! So good too, the importance of being kind to yourself and trusting yourself xx
@Tiny_leaf oof that does sound rough! 50 minutes of judgement 😞 Such good advice though, knowing bad signs to look out for is really important too! All those points are amazing and are really summed up by your last one:
You dread going to sessions with them - if this happens something is not working
Therapy's hard yeah, but you're so so right. Those are all signs that something might need to change!
@WheresMySquishy nice one! tolerance and being accepting and mindful of different worldviews and experiences seem like really essential qualities for a psychologist to have!
Also really agree that it's important for them to realise their own limits, and not work outside their area of competence and to realise when a change might be better for everyone involved I wonder if some psychologists might view doing so as a professional failure, rather than as a sign of professional competency, and that's why they don't do so? What do you think?
@ecla34 I think that's true, not just with psychologists, but with other medical professionals as well. I think a lot of professionals are unwilling to admit that they don't know what is going on and don't want to come across as looking bad or not knowing all the answers. Sometimes, this means that a lot of time is wasted trying different random approaches, or focusing on the issues they can treat rather than the issues they don't have any experience in. I think this can cause them to magnify the less important issues and ignore what you came in for.
Some psychologists might also see a client going to another service or professional as a failure as they couldn't help them and might take this kind of thing personally.
@WheresMySquishy that's exactly what happened to me..
It was not enjoyable and I wish I'd known to get outta there as soon as I realized she wouldn't refer me on to anyone else..
@Hozzles ugh... I hate it when people do that too.
I once saw a psych for social anxiety for like 6 months to a year. She did not once say the words social anxiety. 
I have no idea how that treatment even worked for me, but somehow it did.
And yeah.. some specialists get all... weird around the idea of autism. I've actually made a couple of fact sheets for the sole purpose of getting them used to the idea.
Btw, if you'd like any resources on getting assessed for autism or anything else, feel free to ask!
I'm sure your writing was great! Not only was your therapist rude, but she was missing out.
Awww, thanks everyone for being so lovely.
Here's today's question! 
3. Do you have any advice on how to communicate with your psychologist/get your point across?
Oh @Tiny_leaf I'm so sorry to hear that you've had such negative experiences with psychologists. And that negative experiences seem to be quite common on this thread 😞
Sending you all lots of love! ❤️
3. Do you have any advice on how to communicate with your psychologist/get your point across?
This is something that I still find tricky, especially if I'm really distressed about something - my ability to articulate properly what's going on/how I'm feeling completely disappears. However, if I can, I try to find analogies/metaphors that fit how I'm feeling, or examples in TV shows/books, so that I can talk about then rather than specifically having to explain what's going on in my head. I hope that makes sense.
Often I'll also text my psych before our scheduled appointment to let them know that I have something specific in mind to talk about, with some brief background info about it, so that I can minimise the amount of explaining I have to do during the session.
I haven't actually ever tried writing my feelings/experiences down and bringing it to them in session, but it's something I've considered, and other people might find it helpful 🙂
3. Do you have any advice on how to communicate with your psychologist/get your point across?
- Be honest.
- You can write down the points that you want to make beforehand and bring it in to the session with you.
- Reflecting on your events, thoughts and emotions in a journal can be really helpful for describing them to your psychologist later on.
- If they go on a tangent about a topic that you're not interested in, you can say, 'That's fine but my main concern is...'
- Ask if you can set some goals for the therapy and explain what you want to get out of it.
- If you don't feel as though something will help, let them know.
- Tell them the other treatments and strategies you have done before and whether they have helped you or not.
- This article is useful for communicating when your therapist has upset or offended you.
- Use 'I' statements to talk about your feelings or if something isn't working.
- If you feel that you're not happy with your psychologist, you can ask for them to refer you to someone else or another service. You have the right to do so.
- Ask the psychologist how you will know how you are progressing. Ask them to provide you with a way to measure your progress.
Wow @WheresMySquishy , those are so many good answers!! I'm not sure I have much to add because I think that such a good list 🙂
I guess from my own experience I would add that you aren't 'being difficult' or hurting anyone's feeling if you say something isn't working for you. I think I would feel a bit guilty to tell my psychologist that I thought something was wrong for me because she was very nice. That is silly though (and I know I've made the comparison before) but you wouldn't feel guilty to tell a GP the medicine they prescribe isn't right for you.
In my case the psychologist was very supportive when I finally expressed this and if they aren't, then they probably aren't the right psychologist for you (like we discussed yesterday!)
