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Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Because we touched on so many different family changes, and the repercussions they can have in other areas of our lives, I thought i'd pop together some different resources to have a look at! Heart
Some of it is ReachOut content, and some is external websites and hotlines Heart

For Dealing with divorce and custody and How to cope with your parents' divorce, RO has some really helpful articles and infographics to get started. It's got some tips for communicating what you need and how to feel more in control amongst other advice!

 

There's also the brilliant resources for young carers that @WheresMySquishy linked, which i'll post again so it's all here too Heart There's also the CarerGateway hotline 1800 422 737. I think there's also potentially a callback and counselling service available through this service too, not sure if anyone has any experience using this service?

 

There's lots of advice for coping with bullying here, which also has suggestions for building a Bullying Action plan and methods of coping Heart We're also always here to talk things through as well! Heart

RO has some starting points for moving out of home and moving away to study 
which could be worth taking a peek at for ideas! Smiley Very Happy 

 

To be able to talk to someone about anything that's been going on, whether to do with family changes or not, there's also:
Lifeline 13 11 14 

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (their tagline is Anytime. Any Reason. So there's no reason too small to get in contact with them! Heart)

eheadspace

 

If anyone has any more resources feel free to add them! Heart Smiley Very Happy 




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We're having a SLOW-MO Getting Real chat to do with Generational Differences, starting on Monday the 11th of November! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart
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Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Do you have any advice/an experience you'd like to share about changes in your family? For example, what lifestyle changes should we expect when we live away from home?
- Leave the house every once in a while. If the person you are caring for needs monitoring or care all the time, try to time it for when another person can take over the caring duties.
- Plan for emergencies.
- If the person you are caring for needs aged care assessments and services, try to apply for them as soon as possible. They can take months or even years to happen, even if the person is marked as 'high priority'. You can get services while waiting for an assessment or home care package but you might not be able to get services for people with more complex or greater needs until much later. I have some resentment towards my parents for waiting until my grandma was almost 90 before applying for any kind of service. It would have been a lot easier if the process had been started a long time ago.
- Caring is so much more than doing physical tasks. It's also about providing emotional support, coordinating therapies, talking to healthcare professionals, translating, doing household chores, checking up on them, etc. All of that is equally hard work and time-consuming, and all of those tasks are equally valid.
- Encourage your loved ones to have some money saved up or allocated towards their current or future care needs. You will often end up paying for some kind of service. In my experience, it is hard for people to afford them unless they have some money saved up.

How can we keep open communication going through times of change in the family? Why is this so important?  
- Go over expectations and boundaries from the start.
- Don't be afraid to speak up if you need help.
- We were advised to delegate caring tasks to each other so that one person is not doing them alone (although, whether other people actually follow through on their tasks is another story).
- Check up on your loved ones and ask how they are coping from time to time. Don't just assume that they are coping well.
- It can help if you have someone in your family who is good at coming up with important questions to ask. I am this person in my family and it has resulted in getting a lot of useful or crucial information we wouldn't have been told otherwise.
- Communication can help a lot with family members who are ill. If they feel that their family members are on the same page, it can help their recovery.

What can we learn from change? As a person and as a family?

Change can be something dramatic or it can be a continuous process. With family members who need care, it can be a continuous learning curve and involve a lot of trial and error.
Experiencing and adapting to change can improve your resilience and provide you with a lot of coping and life skills.
I think that some of the changes we experienced helped make us closer as a family. I believe it has taught some of my family members not to take things for granted or to sweat the small stuff.

Has there been a big change in your family that's been positive?
The only thing I can think of right now is when my relatives from Canada temporarily moved in with us a few times over the years. It was a full house, but we learned a lot from them and made some great memories together before they passed away. I miss them a lot.