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SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Hey everyone! 

It's almost time for another slow-mo Getting Real chat! Smiley Very Happy 


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This chat is going to be to do with Family Changes!


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Family looks a little bit different to everyone, but whether big or small, found or born, one thing they all have in common is that things never stay still!


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People get married, people get divorced, someone moves, someone might suddenly get ill- it's a never ending list of potential scenarios that we might have to deal with as a family! 

These changes aren't necessarily always bad, but even positive changes can be tricky to get adjusted to as well!. 


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So to have a discussion about what changes in the family look like and how we can tackle them, join us on the week starting Monday the 7th of October for a SLOW-MO GR chat on Family Changes! We'll be posting new questions throughout the week and would love to hear what you all think! Heart

Family is definitely a huge and emotional topic for a lot of people! Heart If at all you find this conversation distressing or you feel like you need to talk to someone about an issue then it's time to get some help! You can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or use their webchat and email services found on their respective sites. The links can be found here. If you are new here then welcome! Have a quick peek at our community guidelines you can find them here!


Can't wait to see you all on Monday for the first question, keep your eyes peeled for an awesome chat! Smiley Very Happy 


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We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Hey Guys!
Happy Monday!

It's time for the first question to kick off this GR! Smiley Very Happy 


Have you had any changes in your family that have had an impact on you? How did it make you feel at the time?

Examples include:

- living away from home for the first time,
- new step-parents,
- parents separating,
- family transitions,
- changes in parents' careers,
- illness of parent, relative or sibling,
- being a young carer
But that's by no means a comprehensive list! 


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I'm going to tag a bunch of peeps, but please feel free everyone to join in on the discussion! Heart Smiley Very Happy


@xXLexi_Lou122Xx @Bananatime04 @Maryhadalittlelamb @Pasta @not-an-otter @Tiny_leaf @WheresMySquishy @lennycat2017 @scared01 @Bee @mrmusic @Esperanza67 @drpenguin @reach804 @Sam9631 @Milkninja222 @katurian @Hozzles @queenP @Decal21 @MisoBear @mspaceK 

We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Thanks for the tag @ecla34 Heart
Well when I was 4 (nearly 5) my parents got a divorce.. I still remember that day so clearly and yea it’s really emotional for me to even think about. My family and I had just moved house but we still owned our old one (still do today!). These houses are 2 hours away from each other and they broke up after a week at our new house. I just got settled in to my new school and made some new friends and loved it there! Then after 8 days I woke up to mum crying and packing a suitcase. I remember saying over and over “I wanna stay with my brother, I wanna stay, I don’t wanna go” but of course me being 4 years old, I had no say in what happened. From that day on me and my brothers have had it really tough as we’ve all been split apart. We’ve never felt close and it’s really sad for all of us to think about. Before my depression came along I didn’t know how to mask my feelings behind a smile and would cry for hours when I saw them and cry for days when I left. Now that I have depression I am able to hold all my emotions inside which hurts more but no one sees them. But yea how I felt when it happened hasn’t improved much at all.. even after nearly 11 years I am still so so hurt by the decision of my parents that brought our family a lot of conflict and sadness.

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Happy monday everyone! I hope everyone had a great holiday! 

When I started university, I moved away from home to another country and lived in a dorm. It was my choice to do so, but initially when I moved away I really didn't like living in the dorm and it was hard for me to adjust since I also didn't speak the language there fluently. For the first time, I had to do everything independently, which was also different from what I was used to. Eventually though, after making new friends there I began to get used to the lifestyle and was able to manage on my own, away from my family. I'm glad that I was able to live independently in another country and learn more about myself in the time that I was away from my family! 

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Thanks for the tag @ecla34 

Have you had any changes in your family that have had an impact on you? How did it make you feel at the time


My brother moved out at the beginning of the year. He moved in with his girlfriend's family and he's really happy. But since he left I feel a lot more lonely. I now eat alone, as we used to eat together while the parents eat in the room. We used to talk about our days, and problems etc.and now he's gorn I feel a lot more alone and lonely as I sit by myself  at home and at school. He finished school last year and I used to sit with him and his friends. But it's all apart of life I still feel sad sometimes even though it's been a few months.


Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Have you had any changes in your family that have had an impact on you? How did it make you feel at the time?
Around a year ago, my sister became unwell. She had been recovering from a knee operation when she developed some other medical problems (FND and CRPS), which resulted in her having pain and difficulty walking. We were shuffled between different hospitals and doctors. Eventually, she became unable to walk. It took more than half a year for her to be admitted to the hospital she goes to now and the admission dates kept changing, and still do. During that time, my mum and I were caring for her and the whole family's lives had to revolve completely around her care. When she goes to hospital, I have to care for my grandma at home because my parents are out all day. I have different caring tasks every day right now but I still try to volunteer a few times a week and do short courses and things like webinars whenever I can.

It has been really hard for everyone to adjust. I have been rejected from jobs and some volunteering opportunities because some employers don't want someone who has to put their family duties first. This was really disheartening and it felt like my life was on hold. I also have a lot of arguments with my parents because I am in the process of applying for postgraduate courses and I want to organise some respite because I won't be around to care for my grandma as much after I start. They have an 'I don't care' attitude and are in denial whenever I tell them what I need or the problems I am faced with, which I get really frustrated with. Currently, we can get two hours a week of respite, but it's not enough for me as I am volunteering for longer than that. It is also really anxiety-inducing thinking about what could possibly happen when I am out of the house.

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Thank you so much @Bananatime04 @Maryhadalittlelamb @drpenguin @WheresMySquishy  for contributing to this conversation Heart Some of you have touched on some experiences/memories that may bring up some heavy feelings. I just wanted to remind everyone to take the time they need to process any emotions they need to and to get some support if you need. 


Have you had any changes in your family that have had an impact on you? How did it make you feel at the time?

Looking back there have been so many changes that my family have gone through! Growing up my mum always had an open door policy which meant that it wasn't uncommon for us to have friends/family members come to live with us for period of time when they were in need. On a few occasions we had guests with us for almost a year! These long stays sometimes impacted me because I was sensitive to others peoples emotions in the house. I think at the time I felt frustrated having to accommodate for new needs in the household. It was also hard when guests ended up leaving because we got used to having them around.


Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

Thank you for sharing your story with us @Bananatime04  <3. Parents divorcing can still take a huge mental and emotional toll on us, even it happened so many years ago. May I ask how posting that story with us made you feel now?


Wow, moving away from home for uni is one thing, but moving to another COUNTRY for it is an entirely different matter @drpenguin! I'm glad that you've learnt a lot more about yourself in your time being in another country away from home Smiley Happy


Thank you for sharing your story @Maryhadalittlelamb. Sorry to hear about what you're going through ever since your brother moved out Smiley Sad. I was wondering if you had a chat to someone else besides us about this?


Sorry to hear about your sister @WheresMySquishy. I can feel the pain and emotional toll it has taken on you and your family Smiley Sad. Carers' health and well-being are just as important as the patients they care for. Sending my hugs and well-wishes of support along your way.


Wow, that must be one interesting household to live in @Bre-RO! I can totally relate to your frustrations with accommodating new people living in your household


Have you had any changes in your family that have had an impact on you? How did it make you feel at the time?

For me, it was when my family moved interstate and had to leave my dad behind briefly for a few months because of his work Smiley Sad. It felt so weird and uncomfortable living away from him because it felt like a part of me and my family has been taken away with him, you know? It felt like our family was a heart, and one quarter of it was just taken away.

Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

@Bananatime04 my heart hurts for you reading your response, i can't imagine how that must have felt and still feels Smiley Sad Heart do you get to see your brothers often or are able to contact them much? Sending you a massive virtual hug Heart xx


 @drpenguin so glad that moving country has ended up being a really positive step for you in terms of independence,and growth, but it sounds like it was a really tough transition! Making the decision to study in another country where you don't yet speak the language fluently is beyond brave and so admirable! Smiley Very Happy


@Maryhadalittlelamb ahh that sounds like a really big change, having an older sib move out makes the house feel so much emptier! Smiley Sad Heart Do you guys still chat with each other a bit to catch up with what's going on? xx


@WheresMySquishy ah gosh that sounds super frustrating, having your concerns ignored or brushed aside! Smiley Sad You put in so much love and care and I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you'll be able to get the respite you need Heart Heart 


@Bre-RO that sounds like a lot of adjusting! With getting used to people being there and then having to say goodbye and be used to them being gone Heart


@Esperanza67 that's such a beautiful way of describing your family, as one heart Heart I'm glad it was whole again after a few months Heart

We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: SLOW-MO GR: Family Changes, 7th-11th October

I think what we've been talking about ties in really neatly with today's question so i'll post it now!

What did you do to cope with this change? What support is out there available to us? e.g. for young carers or people who've become unwell themselves


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We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart