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Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

I think that is very brave and responsible of you to recognise @Bananatime04. Knowing your triggers is important. I hope you are okay and able to connect through other platforms on here because I know how helpful and supportive this community can be. We haven't met yet but the more I start to use this the more I'm meeting some amazing people so I'm sure I'll come across a thread of yours soon where we can connect. In the meantime, I hope you are kind to yourself during this time and reach out whenever you need the support. Wishing you the best. I know this time of year is not easy ❤

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Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

Hey everyone! The diversity of experiences and feelings around the holidays is such an important conversation, and I have found reading through each of your thoughts around Christmas really helpful to understand my own experience, and to be conscious of the variety of experiences people around me may be going through! Heart

 

What does the holiday season look like for you? Do you have any holiday traditions?

I usually love Christmas because it brings communities together- I just feel this "buzz" around Christmas. I usually do so much Christmas craft! I think I was lucky to be a lot older than my cousins, so I could experience the magic of Christmas through them and be a part of making that magic. But now they are growing up, I need to re-find the Christmas spirit, as I lost that a bit. I definitely enjoy seeing my loved ones, so I will make time to ensure I see friends and family in the coming weeks, and let them know how much they mean to me!

 

What do you find hardest about the holidays?

This year is going to be my first year where I am not a carer for someone else, and looking after their wellbeing at Christmas- such a huge change I am still adjusting to. So the hardest thing for me is not knowing what to do with all my time this coming Christmas! I've haven't had to think about what I need to do for me at Christmas for a long time, so this is a good time for some self-discovery for me Smiley Happy

 

What are things you like the most about the holidays?

Seeing my family is my favourite and having a great time with my cousins! They all live so far away, but it's the one time we all make sure to get together Smiley Happy 

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Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

Wow! I'm really loving the discussion we've got going so far! I can't wait to come back and respond properly to everything later! Heart For now, here's the last batch of questions for this GR! Smiley Very Happy

What can we do to cope during the holidays?

Have you ever dealt with a difficult situation during the holiday season? How did you navigate it?

 

dawg waggin GIF




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We're having a Getting Real chat to do with Dating Anxiety on Monday the 20th of January at 7:30pm AEDT! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

Ooh~ I’m defs a little more late than I wanted to be, but the last week of school slipped by with me preparing my teachers with a gift. Before I move schools at least.

1. Well, my family have this tradition of putting the tree up on the first or second day of December, and my mum will always put the star on the tree. And I mean ALWAYS. It’s pretty good though.
I agree with @WheresMySquishy, because Christmas light hunting is what we do sometimes too. If I had Christmas shirts, I would wear them. But I do wear accessories like tinsel and Chrissy earrings! Holidays in general are hard for me to deal with, because I get pretty lonely. But only because I haven’t bothered to contact anyone, because I don’t want to burden my mum with it all. I have 4 younger siblings, so she kinda has to organise a lot of other things for them!

2. Again, holidays are just hard to make contact with anyone. These holidays I have more planned, but this also has to do with me going on a 3 day holiday to Sydney. Plus I have a bunch of presents to make, or finish making. Then, I have unfinished appointments with doctors.
But that is this year. When I was younger, I also believed Santa was real, and had many home school friends to hang out with.

Who else misses being little kids again? With my 4 younger siblings, I have to keep helping make Xmas fun. That is fun in itself though!

// You are worth Something, not Nothing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise //

Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

3. I most like decorating the tree, with all the special ornaments I’ve received over the years. I even found out one of them was given to me when I was 1 year old!

I guess it’s also having a break from all the stress of school, and just hang out with my friends and family (I know some don’t get this luxury as adults or family dynamics). My family is pretty big now, as there are like 5 generations in one family that haven’t been lost yet. Some have faded into the light, but others of that generation are still alive.
Treasuring the moments of being with family is always what makes it special for me. Even if some relationships with my family aren’t very good at all.


4. Oof this is a big question!
I suggest if you have a problem of no one to hangout with like me, start contacting people. Go hang out with friends. And even make it a bonus by going shopping with them before Christmas for presents!

I’m kinda really struggling with relationships between all my family. My cousin recently verbally fought me, and she never apologised. I wasn’t at fault, Because she had such a big attitude and hates being wrong. And my grandma too. She was on her side, and didn’t help anything. I was a bit banged up on really. And that trip was a special present for all three of us girls. Our birthdays were all close together, so our grandma took us to NSW as our present. Anyways, enough of me rambling on.

Relationships are hard. Especially when you have Xmas with that side of the family. Not even knowing that side of the family any further than your cousins, uncles, grandparents, and great grandparents. I have never navigated this problem, but I guess I can get more info when Xmas day comes...

// You are worth Something, not Nothing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise //

Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

What can we do to cope during the holidays?
I think self-care and doing something that you'd like to do during the holidays can be great coping strategies.

Have you ever dealt with a difficult situation during the holiday season? How did you navigate it?
It's hard to name just one! The past few Christmases have been sad for us because we've had to deal with some losses and my sister's illness. We try to remember those we have lost in some way, such as visiting their grave sometime in the holidays.
I had some family members who were of a different religious background than us and didn't believe in having particular celebrations (they've since passed away). Despite this, we usually managed to get along and respect each other's views, even if they didn't participate in our traditions.
We have also had some dramas where family members have stopped talking to each other and didn't want to be in the same room as each other. Sometimes, I've had to be a peacemaker and lay down some ground rules for events so that there are no arguments.
@xXLexi_Lou122Xx  I can totally relate to your experience, only with some of my family members. I'm sorry you had so much drama on what was meant to be a special holiday. Heart

Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

No need to worry about it @WheresMySquishy.
Life happens.

I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that though. It’s not fun, is it...?
Is there something you have done to get through it, even if the ground rules didn’t work (possibility)?

I know that this is something I need to figure out...

Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

Definitely not @xXLexi_Lou122Xx. Heart

I think it's hard when family members are causing conflict. Sometimes, I've also had to have a chat with them about their behaviour and what I want them to do differently, which isn't easy. Sometimes I've said, 'We won't do/host X event this year because we don't want it to go like how it did last time'.
When all else fails, you can't really force someone to change their behaviour. All you can really do is try to change the way you feel about it or look after yourself. It helps if there are other family members you can talk to during an event. Other times I just try to ignore the family members causing conflict if responding makes their tantrum worse.

Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

Is this forum still active? I live for these gifs!

Re: Slow-mo GR: Dealing With Holidays. 9th - 13th Dec

@Tay100  We've finished posting questions but you're welcome to reply to them and share your thoughts. Smiley Happy